wwyd parental responsability and risks

[Oppsididitagain]

right im about to go out so im not posting then hiding, and i really want to know what you think about this

say you got pregnant as a result of a short relationship but were delighted to be having a baby you dont marry the babys dad and dont think you ever would you mostly get on with the dad but occasionally row, if every time you rowed the dad threatned to just pick up the baby and walk out (your a normal household no cp related issues from your side and never have been but dads extreamly inexperanced with a huge lack of understanding about feeding and whats safe or not safe dad dosnt do anything to do with actual care needs on any basis even half an hour is a struggle for him as he cant deal with any crying, not slating just stating fact). if you genuinly belived he would just leave with baby and not come back

would you name him on a birth cert in the full knowledge that this means he has PR and if he did do that then the police wouldnt even attempt to help you get baby back asap?

or would you leave him off it knowing that this would mean you would have help to get baby returned asap?

im NOT asking about depriving dad of a meaningful relationship/ contact or anything like that just about the pr issue.

so thoughts please.

And from my own experience, mine declined paying out for solicitors fees and thus has no rights.

Is this a hypothetical AIBU OP?

I would not name him on the birth certificate & I'd keep as far away as possible.

I'm not sure I go only with 'denying him fathers' rights either, I think he's doing a great job denying them himself ?!

Absolutely not. Just don't.

I've not got a residency order in place, but contact has been negotiated through court, does that mean my ex can just take my son away and I can't stop him?

In the UK an unmarried mother CAN'T name the father on birth certificate, unless the father attends the registration.

OP if I was in that situation, with those threats being made to me by this man, I wouldn't put him on birth cert. I wouldn't mention it to him either.

If he wanted PR he would have first get some awareness about his rights (and responsibilities) and then apply though the courts for it as he is perfectly entitled to do.

Any person who threatens to take a young baby away from it's caring mother as a means of leverage/power/oppression and/or to get an upper hand in a domestic dispute needs his bloody head read (to put it politely).

DON't DO IT!!!

BTW I wouldn't want to live with someone who did this to my child and me - not at all.

DailyMailSpy, it means that your ex can keep his child outside of the contact ordered time and the Police would not necessarily go and remove the child from him because he is his parent too. Same as he couldn't ring the Police and ask them to remove your child from your care into his.

Without a real threat of a father keeping a child from their Mother though, it is unlikely that a court would order a Residency Order as they work on a no order policy. So when it isn't in the child's best interests to order something, they wont.

As others have said the law changed end of 2003 / 2004 so that any parent named on the birth certificate would automatically have parental responsibility (which is why my ex isn't named on our son's).

PullUpaPew is also correct in that police will not do anything if the child is with someone who has parental responsibility. The only way then to get the child back would be to go through the court system and battle it out for sole residency (its no longer called custody) or access. Unless you can prove beyond doubt that the other party is an unfit parent (and even then they generally take no notice) they tend to avoid ruling for sole residency with access and grant joint residency. This can take years.

Personally the guy sounds like an arse and I'd be kicking him out but if you really intend on staying with him then no I personally would not put him on the birth certificate however that could also cause huge rows in itself.

I wouldn't put him on the birth certificate & would be looking at ways of getting me & baby out of this situation.

I probably wouldn't put him on the certificate if you think there's going to be major problems around risk later on. No point in making things harder for yourself. I probably wouldn't mention it either tbh unless necessary.

the child in question is not mine my youngest has allready been registered solely in my name, for my own reasons. i was asking the question with regard to a friend in the described suituation.

i have personally heard the dad say this several times i have also witnessed his inability to actually care practicly for the child.

my stance on the matter is register without dad (the above poster stating that pr is automatic if on birth cert is correct,and its also correct that without a court order the police will not even bother to respond to a call) if he goes to court to obtain PR then fine she can ask at the same hearing for a residency order and she will get it there are no issues with her care however there are issues with his.

they are also going to break up but shes umming and arring about this issue,
she dosnt think she owns the baby shes not being mean shes just very frightoned that if he takes the child (who is fully breastfed) and it takes several days to get child returned if ever as he has nfa so finding him would be an issue he may neglect the baby enough for it to become a health issue during the time he has her.
my understanding of it is that she would be perfectly willing to deal with court ect but looking to protect the child for the time it takes to actually get a court order and she only has 2 days left to make a decision regarding registration.

the reason i asked was i know i see a side of life that most people dont take for granted my work involves me dealing on a daily basis with controling abusive adults who use issues like pr to further control and abuse expartners (both male and female) so perhaps i am a bit harsh on preventitive measures and perhaps im slightly biased as to whats reasonable or not i know i often look on the 'oh shit this can now happen' angle and i kinda wondered what other people would think of the to name or not to name under these circumstances issue iyswim

parental responsability basicly means that each parent or carer with it has EQUAL rights this means that a nrp (inless a court order is in place to prohibit this or stating where the child is to reside) can drive up to your house and providing she/he dosnt abuse or threaten and the child goes willingly can take child say if hes playing in the garden or not return the child after a visit not tell you and the rp would have to take them to court to get child returned. it would genrally be frowned apon but the type of person who would do this with out a valid child protection type of a reason is not really going to give a stuff about being frowned apon.