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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU - it's a wedding one

21 replies

Cocktailsorcakes · 14/06/2012 10:00

Sorry, wasnt sure where to post this!!

A friend of over 20 years is getting married soon and the kids and I have been invited.

Am I crazy for thinking I can manage the whole ceremony and sit down meal with a 1yr old and a 4 yr old by myself?

I will be there with a group of friends but realistically although they will help a bit they will be celebrating (& rightly so!!) so I dont want to rely on any other help.

I would love to take them as they are great and we don't get lots of opportunities to go out. There will be other kids there of similar ages.

I have also been invited to the evening reception and was planning on taking them back to GP's, getting them settled and then popping back to the party on my own (if I still feel up to it!!).

But on the other hand I could ask a GP to babysit all day and just go by myself!

What do you think?

OP posts:

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 14/06/2012 10:11

Personally, I'd go by myself with children that young, unless the 4yo is particularly close to the couple or really wants to go. The GP will probably give them a lovely day.

Cockwomble · 14/06/2012 10:13

Go on your own, they are too young to remember it anyway!

MaryBS · 14/06/2012 10:14

If you have a GP who can do it, then I would let them. The children are unlikely to enjoy it, and you would enjoy it much more by yourself. You probably COULD manage it, but would you enjoy it?

ChaoticismyLife · 14/06/2012 10:15

Go by yourself and have a lovely time catching up with friends.

ENormaSnob · 14/06/2012 10:16

Definitely go by yourself.

SarkyWench · 14/06/2012 10:20

Will most of the people that you want to catch up with have kids or not?
Do what they will be doing :)

shrimponastick · 14/06/2012 10:20

I think I would leave them with GPs if they are willing to have them all day.

You will be far more relaxed and have time to chat properly with everyone.

SugarBatty · 14/06/2012 10:20

Go by yourself, I missed all of my best friends wedding meal and speeches because my 2 year old dd got over tired and cried and fought her sleep! I was gutted to miss it!

expatinscotland · 14/06/2012 10:21

Go on your own.

Original poster

Cocktailsorcakes · 14/06/2012 11:00

Thanks guys.

I know the GP's would happily have them all day and be pleased to think I was getting a break and some adult fun!

I guess I want to do it as if I had a partner then we would definitely all have gone. I hate changing the things I would do just because he's not part of the picture now.

My friend specifically called to invite them before the invitations were sent out so I know they would like them there.

It's a good idea to see what my other friends with kids are doing. I'm pretty sure they are bringing them but will check.

I will think about it some more as it is a lot of work when we are 'out' and perhaps I should stop feeling guilty that they don't do everything I want them to do.

OP posts:

OldGreyWiffleTest · 14/06/2012 11:34

I would grab the chance to have a good time on my own! Enjoy.

Jenny70 · 14/06/2012 12:59

Is there a gap between ceremony and sit down meal? If so, I'd take them to the ceremony and then go to GP's to drop them off...

I think the meal will be the trickiest, as courses can be spaced out, or food they don't like etc.. And you want to be able to eat and chat, not be constantly interuppted.

Or go on your own, I specifically invited kids to our (lunchtime) wedding, but most people didn't bring them - I wasn't the least bit upset by that.

whenyouseeitwaveorcheer · 14/06/2012 13:02

I never take mine to weddings! I can't see what's in it for them. The little one struggles to sit still in a Harvester for half an hour

catus · 14/06/2012 13:05

I think you could probably manage if you want to, but why suffer if you don't have to?
The idea to have them at the ceremony and then go to the meal and party by yourself is a good one. You can then eat and chat in peace, without interruptions.

vezzie · 14/06/2012 13:10

Gosh, is that unanimous? I disagree!
OP, you know your own kids but if they're like mine, I would. They'll make friends, the adults will coo over them, you will still have a great time, if you would have done anyway, and if it's boring or you don't get on with anyone there, they will be company.

I am prejudiced because I miss my girls horribly at work and wouldn't be keen to accept a day-time invitation without them, especially not where other kids would be and the do is absolutely in the right vein for children to be there.

The 4 year old will absolutely remember it, and the one year old will be universally remembered as adorable, so everyone else will remember him / her being there.

birdofthenorth · 14/06/2012 13:11

Sorry to go against the grain but the couple would like them there, so I think you should take them. I found it a bit weird when a couple of people left their kids at home for my wedding. Who cares if they're running around and restless? That's part of the joy of weddings! And of course you will manage, you probably manage very well every day Just bring snacks etc. And spare clothes for when they wreck their gorgeous outfits after 5 minutes!

Good plan to take them back to GPs and return for the evening do (if you can come back by taxi and have a few drinks so much the better!)

Pandemoniaa · 14/06/2012 13:14

I reckon you've got the best of both worlds here - which is rare in wedding related threads! Take them to the wedding where they are clearly welcome and then take them back to the GPs so you can enjoy the evening do without worrying about over-tired children.

squeaver · 14/06/2012 13:14

Why not take them to the ceremony, let them have a run around and mingle while the photos are being done etc them get the grandparents to pick them up and take them (just as the bar opens!!)

whenyouseeitwaveorcheer · 14/06/2012 15:39

Birdofthenorth - I would care if my children were running around restless at a friends wedding. Dh was best man at a wedding when dc were 6mo and 2.5 years and quite a few people were puzzled we didn't bring them. Trying to entertain a toddler and a newborn was my full time job at the time and I couldn't and still can't see the appeal of doing that at a wedding when I could have been relaxing over a nice meal and wine and catching up with old friends.

whenyouseeitwaveorcheer · 14/06/2012 15:39

Not newborn, sorry, baby!

MammaTJ · 14/06/2012 18:04

I wonder if you have a trusted babysitter and if the happy couple would mind an extra guest. That way your kids get to see everyone and have a good time. Everyone gets to catch up on your kids and then you get your adult time later on when they are with the GPs during the evning do.

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