WWYD - Children and Clubs

[Aliensstolemychildren]

This is less of a AIBU and more of a WWYD - but I do wonder if I am being a little unreasonable!

My DS's both attend a martial arts club once a week and although they have never been in love with it, have always gone and got on with it. There was some kind of marriage breakdown and the lady instructor left, now my kids hate it and DS1 has been in this morning in tears (he is 11) at how he doesn't want to go. Having calmed him down and spoken to him - he has no good reasons for this and my younger DS feels the same.

The problem is that this has been the one form of exercise we have managed to get them to do - do I drop it as I am inclined to do as they are clearly not happy with it or tell them to get on with it (my DH thinks it is character building!)

Help

I think I would let them drop the martial arts, on the proviso that they find and take part in another sporting activity of some kind?

Why not accompany them to the next session and observe? There has to be a reason why they're in tears. If the lady instructor leaving means some bully-boy drill sergeant type has taken over then find them a new class.

I agree with Panda. I'd ask them to choose something else.

I agree with PandaG

Good point - I don't go to the club with them, they are taken by a friend as I work, she has reported a few strange things (a child left to wet themselves as they were not allowed to go to the loo etc.) but said she doesn't share the same view as my DS's (or indeed her DS)

Look for something else IMO keeping children at things they hate isnt great for them see what else is around for them ,

I wouldn't force them to go. You need to try to encourage them to do some other activity though but I would look at that seperalty and not make it a "you do this or find something else" type situation

I'd allow them to look for something else.

Structured clubs are great for discipline but children shouldn't need them for exercise...they can get enough of that playing out and/or running around the park.

Why on earth would you make a child do an after school club they don't enjoy? Did they choose to go in the first place, or was it your idea?

I agree with worra these clubs should be fun and something children want to do , not part of a exercise regime.

Actually seeker they choose to go in the first place and then continued with no fuss until recently. I have never made them do anything - except homework!

I think I will stop and find something else for them - and tell my DH that they can build character another way

My ds goes to BMMA who are really, really brilliant. There is discipline and an emphasis on fitness, but I have never heard our instructor raise their voice. They are amazing. Perhaps you can find a different martial arts thingy if you think they will stick to it, or as suggested above, ask them to suggest an activity that they will do, even if it is just going for long walks regularly.

I would encourage them to try something else and wouldn't make them continue if they really don't want to be there. My ds wanted to give up judo, so I made him continue for the rst of the term because I had paid for it and felt he had committed himself as it was his choice, and he'd been going for a while by then. At the end of that term he said he wanted to continue, so I signed up for the next term, and again a couple of weeks into that he said he wanted to leave. He was made to finish the term, but then he chose something else.

I had the exact same thing with my DS. He did kung fu for 4 years (and was very good) and it took ages for us to even find that. We tried gymnastics, street dance etc etc but he hated all of them.

However, after 4 years he had really had enough and moaned and groaned every week. I made him do it for a good while amid the protests but then I wondered what the hell I was doing, why was I making my life even more stressful, plus the expense of it all when he wasnt even getting anything out of it.

I let him quit. He is year 5 now, and I am really hoping once he goes to secondary school he will want to take it up again or find something he really likes. He wants to get home from school and chill and he is a creative kid, writing and drawing and so sadly not too sporty. I have decided to embrace his personality rather to try and change it and not make him something he isnt. I wasnt sporty at all as a kid and now I do loads of different stuff.