Mumsnet jury needed.

[Evilwater]

Mumsnet, my first baby is due in the end of oct. my DP thinks we can get early Xmas presents to get things like the cot ect. We can afford the stuff easily as second hand, but he thinks it's ok to get things we need as an Xmas present, instead of crap! By the way the crap is what he asks for!

He comes from a family that does not celebrate Xmas and birthday.

I think we should stand on our own two feet and pay for it ourselves, AIBU?

Evil
P.s
He spent two and half grand on a fitness toy, which he may use!

The family will buy presents anyway. I always get stupidly excited at the birth of a baby and buy clothes, wipes, bibs and all things practical but if you asked for a particular item I would try and buy it within reason.

YABU.

I really don't see a problem with it, particularly if the people buying you cot etc are happy to let you tell them which cot etc you want.

It means you'll have spare cash to spend on other stuff the baby will need as well.

I think he's being fairly sensible as long as you usually tell people Xmas ideas. If not you can't just specify gifts it would look terrible.

If his family don't celebrate Xmas or Birthdays then who does he think is going to be supplying the new non-crap cot etc.?

In my experience, friends and family were happy to offer to buy things new for the baby or to pass on good quality second-hand items. As I am a f/t student and DH earns a low wage we were not refusing anything.

If there is a particular thing you want then I say go and get it, or ask for vouchers if people are offering. Or, go the second-hand route for now and get some stuff when the baby is bigger.

Congratulations, by the way!

My family arn't rich and asking them to fork out for things, while money is short is painful. My dad has been off work with long term sickness, and my mum doesn't know if she will have her job in April. if I asked them for cash they would sell everything.

His family, on the other hand..... Well thier not short. just tight fisted, very tight fisted.

I think getting my folks to help with painting of the room, and giving there time is enough.
Evil

That's what I'm confused about NotGeoff

I think he's taking the piss actually.

Just buy the stuff second hand and if anyone asks either of you what you'd like for Christmas, ask for vouchers.

That way if you're lucky enough to get them you can spend them on new baby stuff.

If the baby is due in October, you'll need all the things well before Christmas

Well, because my family do (and Appently it's crap), my family should. If they say no, then I guess we have to.

I'm sorry that I'm not very clear on this, but I'm still pissed and upset. He can be such ass when it comes to money! Anything else not a problem.

I guess that how the rich stay rich, they never spend it.
Evil

Does he usually celebrate Christmas and birthdays? If not then surely he should be refusing presents anyway?

If he can afford £2.5k on a toy for himself, he can afford to contribute to things for his own child.

Did he not think about this before the pregnancy?

The money side of things I mean or did he just expect everyone else to pay for his baby?

The baby was an accident.
Evil

Well it's one he's going to have to learn to pay for...instead of buying himself toys.

If he's responsible enough to be a Father, he's going to have to stop relying on other people's generosity.

Okay, I take back the YABU...

If he knows your family can't easily afford cots etc (and I assume he does), he's being unreasonable to suggest they buy them as early Christmas presents. Especially as it sounds like he's not going to ask the same of his own family.

Tbh you shouldn't expect presents off anyone never mind asking for them early

Thank you everyone,
I'm off to bed now, knowing I'm in the right.
Evil