To be very cross with ds

[cockyleeky]

So, we had a parent's evening a couple of months ago, where more or less every teacher told me he was coasting and not putting in effort at all. He's getting b's but should easily be getting a's and is disrupting other pupils by nattering.

So we had a massive talk, and he's been really good. The school have promised several times to give me feedback on how things are going in lessons and have failed to do so, so I don't know how things are in lessons, but at home he has seriously been doing tons of revision and independant study. I have seen lots of evidence for this. He has concentrated mainly on history and science, due to telling me he had big exams coming up for these.

Yesterday, I got up to find him vomiting, and he said he'd been up since 2.30 with sickness and diarrhoea. He clearly can't go to school. I ask him if there are exams, but he says no they're Weds. I ask again because I'm sure that one of them was Tuesday, but he assures me both Weds. I ask because I figure that if he misses exams he'll need a doctors note. As it is he'll recover fine so I don't phone the doctor.

Of course he's gone to school today, and discovered that he's missed Science, History AND French. He says he had no idea there was french at all. The school won't let him retake without a doctor's note, and of course it's too late to get one. Apparently all are crucial to his GCSEs.

How could he not have known the dates, or indeed the subjects? He has been taking it really seriously at home, even shunning invites out and football to catch up on studying. I am very very cross, can I get a retrospective doctor's note? I doubt it.

The school should have sent you a time table, if they are GCSE modules.
If not, don't worry about it.
Oh, and you can still get a certificate. Just nip into the surgery and explain the situation. They're used to it.

Really? That'll be great if you're right. Thanks.

Oh, and the school never send me anything.

1 no reason you cant still get a doctors note.
2 he can retake them- if they are modules for public exams they will run them again in the autumn
3 the school will find a way for him to get the best grades he can
4 if he genuinely had been up all night ill, he may well have been confused

There was no French today, Biology was yesterday, History was today.

At worst you will have to pay for him to take them. (But I would be making him pay).

Maybe he was just really nervous?

Edexcel History was yesterday, another paper on Friday if he has been entered for 2 modules in year 10. Remember there are different exam boards.

Our pupils are given their exam timetables - they aren't posted home. It's quite common for the kids to 'forget' on purpose. At our school you'd be charged the module entry fee (£7.50) and he'd have to do it in the January exam season.

Is getting 'Bs' considered coasting along these days?

How would he not know his exam timetable, are you sure he did not get overwhelmed from the pressure and he was faking it or did you see him being sick?

Getting B's is coasting if you could be getting A's with a bit of effort.

Definitely ill, there was an impressive bucket full of the stuff, and his aunt started being sick at a family party at the weekend, so that's clearly where it came from (just waiting for the rest of us to get it now).

I actually don't mind paying fees to be honest. I have been extremely impressed with how much of his own study he's done with no nagging at all lately. That's why it's so frustrating. He seemed to be sorting himself out.

I'm cross, but I can't really have a go at him, because he seems even crosser with himself. He's furious that he's wasted all that hard work.

Yes but isn't the effort what distinguishes a B grade student from an A grade student at GCSE? He must be making an effort to be obtaining B grades but it is seemingly not good enough and it sounds preposterous to describe a B grade student as coasting along because they have not obtained A grades. He hasn't yet proven that A grades are within his capability, unless he has gone from As to Bs?

I think the gist was that he was making virtually no effort and getting b's. He literally talked through the lessons, and sat playing knuckles and making paper aeroplanes. I think that's the definition of too little effort.

So if he can get b's by doing this, then with some effort surely he should move up a grade.

I am, by the way, very cross that the school don't appear to have any sanctions for this behaviour. I am also very cross that ds has behaved like this.

What year is he in? Sounds like the poor boy is stressed out and his v & d was a reaction to the pressure. Is he becoming disruptive because he can't keep up? I'd sit him down and have a long chat to see whats really going on. A string of As is fantastic but at what price?

He's yr 10. And was definitely ill, all his cousins have come down with it after the family party too.

I completely agree, Bs is fine, a darn sight better than I got. But when I hear what goes on in the classroom, I have no doubt he could do better. I always thought he exaggerated the armwrestling/practical jokes/knuckles/raps/listening to music/messing on computers/general talking, but his teachers agreed at parents evening that's all he does in class, unless an actual assessment. And at no point does he ever shut up!

3 times the school have promised me feedback on his behaviour so I can apply sanctions/rewards at home. They have failed to communicate at all. So i have no idea if his behaviour has improved.

He's disruptive in that he bounces about and talks at the top of his voice all the time (believe me I know, when do I get the sullen silent teenager please?), but he doesn't fight or swear or anything major, so the school don't seem to want to punish him, even though they admit it affects his and others learning.

Ask them to put him on report. Then you can see daily how he is doing and punish/reward accordingly.

Give the HOY a ring/email and tell them that you can't monitor him if you don't hear anything.

There isn't a head of year because they are in vertical houses, or something?

But I emailed the house leader twice who assured me I would get feedback both times. I didn't, so I then set up a meeting with her after parents evening. She spent a long time with me setting out what followup she would organise. I haven't heard a thing since, so have more-or-less given up.

About the only communication I've had from the school lately is to invite me to watch ds receive a special geography award for outstanding achievement. He doesn't take geography.

Don't give up cockyleeky. Email the house leader to say something along the lines of thank you for meeting me recently to discuss ds and the follow up strategies that you suggested implementing. I would be grateful if you could let me know if this is proving effective and how his teachers report ds is taking to the new approach.