...to make an excuse not to attend leaving do?

[PinkElephant73]

WWYD?

A colleague is leaving work, in unhappy circumstances as she has been made redundant. We did not get on well and I found her very difficult to work with. I have been sent an email about her leaving do by another colleague - she hasnt asked me directly. I did ask the email sender if I was definitely invited, she said yes. I don't want to be rude or antisocial, but it feels slightly odd that she hasn't invited me herself and it feels a bit hypocritical as to be honest its a bit of a relief that she's leaving.

a bit hypocritical to attend

i wouldnt go..unless the stress and guilt you will feel if you don't go will be worse than actually going IYSWIM :)

don't go or pop in for one if you feel your presence will be a cathartic ending for you both :-)

Just politely decline if you don't want to go and wish her all the best in a card. If you don't get on I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem for her if you decided not to go.

YANBU - you didnt like her, why would you want to go to her leaving do, well apart from to shove her out the door and make sure she goes

You never have to see her again, so I wouldnt bother and yes it would be hypocritical to attend.

Depends -I love a free buffet !! no yanbu

Invites are there to be accepted or declined. Whichever you choose is fine.

If you can't stand the bitch don't want to go, don't go. Easy.

Personally, I wouldn't go to a leaving do if I didn't like someone. However, I would make a modest contribution to their leaving present/card so as to avoid them leaving on a nasty note.

perhaps th colleague did all the invitations.
is it after work
or during work?
you could pop in and wish her well without going to any Do.

FFS just lie, you cant go. job done!

Perhaps you are "very sorry to miss it, but have [a very important engagement] that you just can't get out of" at just the same time... Be nice about it, write a nice message in the card and put something in the leaving collection, but you really don;t have to go - there's no point in you both feeling awkward, and this way you both get to have a fun evening :) .

No I wouldn't attend. But just make an excuse. But I agree with the modest contribution to leaving present.

i always remember i refused to fill out a colleagues get well soon card, as i didnt like her,
and she died >
put aside your differences op, you wont have to see her again.
as i said, just show your face, pop in.

Well thats a unanimous verdict then!

in my defence, it was a bad back she was off with,
but she was rather large, and the enforced bed rest caused a thrombosis, i think

slartybartfast I will accept your permission not to bother as it would mean a 40 mile round trip on my day off...

LOL @ slartybartfast I have signed the card with a message wishing her well and thanking her for hard work but not saying sorry to see you go....

If you don't want to go, then don't. Simples! It is a work thing and especially if it is your day off. I never went to leaving do's unless it was someone I particularly liked once I had had my son. I remember my administrators leaving do, which I made an exception for as she was lovely and so good at her job, and she got a little bit tipsy and cried that she was so happy that I was there as I never usually went to those things. I got a bit teary too at that point. Anyway, only go if you genuinely wish the person well.

I wouldn't go or contribute to her leaving present or send her a card. It would be hypocritical to do anything else.

Claim a subsequent engagement.

;)

No way would I be going.

Reminds me of one of the episodes of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air (I know!) where everyone who attended someone's funeral was there because they all hated him and wanted to make sure he was dead!

thank you ladies. will make up an excuse. DC nearly always ill anyway so thats always believable!

Yep sign card and sick DC. Sorted!
Not signing card risks admitting you don't like her, which is a bit mean.