To wonder about my v complicated will?

[sensuallettuce]

Have been trying to sort out in my head my will tonight as I really need to make one.

I own my own house and have 3 DC's ex own a small percentage of it (30%) which my OH will buy him out of in due time. He also has3 DC's.

So far all 6 kids get equal percentage.

OH parents have nothing to leave although his DC maternal grandparents have a large property portfolio - so possibly will be left large amount of money.

My parents also well off and will possibly get large inheritance which we would plough into our own home - how the hell do I work this with my step kids? And is it fair for my kids to possibly share their inheritance?

Do I say (in my will) I'll put a load in the bank for each of my 3 and whatever OH and I have together we split 6 ways?

surely if your OH buys your ex out of 30% it's this which he splits between his 3 kids i.e 10% for of your step-children . your 3 DC then have 70 % split between them i.e 23% (approx)..

it's in no way fair to expect your DC to share their inheritance with their step brothers/sisters.

You will need to update the will regulary,anyway, to suit changing circumstances.

Make your will on the basis that you will die tommorrow and on that basis, what your children get now that they only have one living parent etc.

We have a complicated family set up.

I have three step children, who all have different mothers. Dss is, I consider, a child of my marriage-I helped bring him up. Dsd1 and Dsd2 however did not find out that my dh was their father until they were adults. (told you it was complicated) but are now fully integrated into our family. All of our offspring get on really well, they do love each other, my step daughters are lovely and my children have extra support and love. I consider their children my grandchildren. It all works very well and we are a united family...I call it my extended nuclear family!

I didn't know what to do about our will, once my lovely step daughters had 'found us', I struggled with this for quite a while if I am honest, but am now happy because my children (who are all now young adults) have happily come up with the following.

It is my children's wish that my stepdaughters are included equally in our will, so inheritance that comes from both of us, will be split six ways-though it won't be much, just the house.
There won't be anything from my husbands family.
Inheritance that comes through my family, will be split four ways-between my dss (who was regarded as a grandson by my parents) and 'our' three children.

Personal effects from my hubby will be divided six ways, between them.
My jewellery etc will be divided amongst my children-mostly my daughters, as my son has inherited most of my fathers personal effects.

Are your children old enough to have a view on this?

We both have 50% to be split between all children (2xDSDs, 2xDSs for me) and the other 50% just to be split between DSs I.e. our joint children. All money goes directly to each other first so this scenario would only happen on the second death. It effectively means that his half is split between all of his 4 children and that my half is split between our 2 joint children.

We did talk about this to DSDs many years ago when it was first done but they were early teens then so not that interested.

Your parents could leave their inheritance to you, with the instruction that if anythin happens to you it goes straight to your children.

I think u need to see a solicitor about drawin this will up.

It's a tricky situation when there are second, third or 4th marriages and step children as well as birth children involved.
Definitely need to involve a solicitor and give very careful thought about who inherits what. The "danger" with leaving everything to your husband/partner when you die is that you then have to trust him to include your children in his will when he dies. I'm not suggesting that he would deliberately exclude them but we had a friend who was widowed with 2 young teenage children. He met another woman, they dated and eventally married. By this time the children were at University and living in rented flats. Their Dad died very suddenly and unexpectedly and everything went to his new wife as per his will (he had said that when anything happened to her, the children should inherit). She didn't feel any particular tie to these children and refused their requests to have family pieces of furniture from their family home and jewellry which had belonged to their mother. Wife number 2 subsequently met a new partner, sold up their family home and emigrated to Australia with her new partner. They haven't heard from her since so are unlikely to ever see any of their inheritance from birth parents.
It's a nightmare all round as you clearly can't expect someone to contribute to the house and home for years and then find themselves homeless when their partner/spouse dies because the kids have inherited the house - and often it's not the kids who want to get their hands on the inheritance but the partners of the kids.
Sorry, I realise I'm not helping you solve this dilemma but it does need careful thought.

I'm a will writer and often recommend in step-families that there should be a life interest trust, which means that the house (usually the largest part of the estate) is held on trust for the benefit of the children, with the surviving partner having the right to occupy it until they die.

Otherwise there is the danger that partner A dies, leaves everything to B on the basis that on B's death, the joint estate goes to the children of A and B in equal shares. Unfortunately there is nothing to stop B from changing his or her will to leave everything to B's children, therefore A's children get nothing.

If anyone wants any more info, I have a paid for advert on the Small Business Section of Classifieds, titled "5* Will Writing Service Recommended by Mumsnetters".

Certainly a professional will writer will bring everything down to basics and ask you to consider things you wouldn't necessarily consider or even discuss with your partner.

Not the cheapest thing to do, but having gone through the process (with a very uncomplicated family) I feel happy that for my current circumstances all is in order. For example, if anything should happen to myself or DH, my DB would step in. Not my DB and DSIL (who I love to pieces). The will writer pointed out that should anything happen between DB and DSIL, we wouldn't want our DCs to be fought over in any way or to suffer.

I think it's extremely useful to have a third party, not connected with you in any way, have you make some tough decisions.

Thanks - am planning to see a solicitor - just wanted to gain opinions :)