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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My lovely childminder

24 replies

ObviouslyOblivious · 12/06/2012 20:07

Ds has been with his childminder three days a week since December. I used to work FT, I did a flexible working request to move to 24 hours which was accepted. I chose three consecutive days (tues, weds, thurs) which work well for my work and for me.

It's all been going fine, but the CM has never been full and I know she'd like to look after more children. Last night she asked me whether I could move the days that I work as she's had a request for two consecutive days from prospective parent. She'd like my 3 days to fit with this new person's 2 days to make 5 IYSWIM.

As far as I'm concerned my days are not moveable. Aibu to think that she shouldn't have asked this?

OP posts:
Original poster
ObviouslyOblivious · 12/06/2012 20:07

Sorry I should have said that she's lovely, DS loves her and she loveS him.

OP posts:
hillyhilly · 12/06/2012 20:08

No harm in asking but I guess you have the right to say no?

HildaOgden · 12/06/2012 20:09

No harm in her asking,surely?

madmouse · 12/06/2012 20:09

There's no reason why she shouldn't have asked this. Doesn't mean you have to say yes.

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/06/2012 20:09

She can ask, you can say no.

squeakytoy · 12/06/2012 20:09

no harm in her asking... for all she knows it may be straightforwards for you to change your days to Mon-Tues-Weds or Weds-Thur-Fri so YABU

OfMiceandCats · 12/06/2012 20:10

Why shouldn't she ask? You can only say no and then she is left with the choice of sticking with you or saying she can't look after your dc because she wants to have this other couple's dc. I suspect that she'll stick with you because you are 3 days and the others only 2. However it is her choice.

She may be asking because she doesn't know that your days are inflexible.

Original poster
ObviouslyOblivious · 12/06/2012 20:10

Ok, thanks. I wouldn't mind tbh but I don't think it will fly with work. I'll have to ask them

OP posts:
BBisTitanium · 12/06/2012 20:11

YAB a bit Unreasonable. She only asked you've stated your DS is happy with her, surely it doesn't hurt to ask! Plus if you did a mon or fri you'd get bank holidays paid so really she is giving an excuse to get more holiday! (as long as your company aren't tight wankers and do pay BH on top of hol)

gamerwidow · 12/06/2012 20:11

It's fine for her to ask after all she is running a business and it makes sense to run at full capacity if possible.
You don't have say yes though.

Arabellasmella · 12/06/2012 20:11

if it were me i would try and help her out, especially if you all love her so much.

fluffette1980 · 12/06/2012 20:13

I'm a childminder and I don't think she's unreasonable to ask, if she'd told you "I'm going to have to change DS's days" then she'd be pushing it.

Personally, I wouldn't ask a current client to change their days to accommodate a prospective new client as it's a bit cheeky imho, but not unreasonable.

Original poster
ObviouslyOblivious · 12/06/2012 20:19

I knew I'd get a healthy dose of reality from you lot :)
I'll ask work, but I will feel guilty if I can't change now :(

OP posts:
BBisTitanium · 12/06/2012 20:21

You needn't feel guilty as long as you've wholeheartedly asked Smile

fluffette1980 · 12/06/2012 20:28

Don't feel guilty at all, as long as you've asked you've done all you can do. If she's as lovely as you've said she will understand.

TheHappyHissy · 12/06/2012 20:39

Can she not overlap the mindees?

HappyMummyOfOne · 12/06/2012 20:49

I think its a bit cheeky, you shouldnt have to change days so that she can earn more money.

However you may find she gives notice if the other offer is financially better.

maddening · 12/06/2012 21:00

bbis - as far as I am aware part timers whose working days do not fall on a bank hol are entitled to that time in lieu?

yanbu - she isn't bu to ask but having wrangled good working ydays for you it is a pain to have to go back and re-wrangle - I would have found it awkward to ask to move the days especially as you may require flexibility when being a working parent - eg children's illnesses etc

RightBuggerforit · 12/06/2012 21:29

I think it was fine to ask you - after all, you may have been thinking of changing days anyway for all she knows, so why not bring it up and find out. You are under no obligation to even consider it though, a straight no would be fine if you don't want to for any reason.

MarySA · 12/06/2012 21:35

I think it was OK for her to ask you. But you shouldn't have to change your days to suit another parent if you don't want to. Let the other Mum changer her days. If it's not convenient just say in a nice way that it's not possible.

BBisTitanium · 12/06/2012 22:06

Maddening that probably is the case my employers are probably being simplistic about it and im exploiting it as they do if u would of been at work u get it, if not you dont

JoanOfNark · 12/06/2012 22:09

you can do a flexible working request but she can't? Not very fair.....

YesIamYourSisterInLaw · 12/06/2012 22:15

"I think its a bit cheeky, you shouldnt have to change days so that she can earn more money.*

Oh come on most childminders make £3-4 per hour it's hardly top wage. Why shouldn't she ask and want to make a bit more cash to pay for, oh i don't know, luxuries like bills maybe

froggies · 12/06/2012 22:26

I am a childminder, and have a selection of part time kids. You may find that being able to work the extra two days makes a difference between financial viability of her buisness or not.

As others have said, there is no reason why she can't ask, you don't need to say yes.

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