To think that you can't just excuse casual racism by saying that someone didn't mean it, is very young or was just joking?

[DrSeuss]

I pointed out to my line manager that the casual racism of two colleagues over lunch made me very uncomfortable. Among other gems, we were treated to the tale of a trip to a Chinese restaurant which employed Chinese staff( no shit? Really?!). And the first encounter of the niece of one of them with a person of Afro Carribean descent. She said they were just young, didn't mean it and we're often like that. I said that was bullshit, that 24 is not that young and that it didn't matter if they meant it or not, they still propagated this crap and I had had to listen while I ate. She spoke to their line manager, who also claimed that they didn't mean it but promised to speak to them. I also pointed out that we work with kids and would be obliged to report a kid saying what they had said. If it happens again, I plan to stand up, leave the table and say that I would prefer to eat elsewhere as I don't feel comfortable around such talk. Too much? Not enough?

were often like that. We're not like that!

YANBU but I'm sure your post will get the usual "I'm not racist but" brigade disagreeing

I think any 'ism' should be challenged.

But there are ways to challenge it and storming off is perhaps not the way to go ...

Oh, no storming. Plan to speak clearly and calmly then walk.

Why do you have to eat with them at all?

Challenge the "they didn't mean it" by asking why they said it. How many other things do they say but "don't mean"? How can you trust anything they say if they can, when it suits them, say that "they didn't mean it"?

Hopefully that's the last we'll hear of it, anyway. Once it's made clear to them that it's not acceptable, hopefully they will keep their crappy thoughts to themselves. I cherish no hope of reforming them just shutting them up.

It should be pointed out. It might be that they are simply ignorant, but if that's the case surely it's better to inform them that it's offensive and why anyway?

Good idea, Mice!

Forward, lunch choices come down to alone in my classroom or a very small staff room. Since all my colleagues are in the staff room, I go there as it's that or eat alone.

YANBU. Working in a school I hear the 'I DIDNT MEAN IT' excuse a million times a day. Often it is some thing said quite cruelly and pointedly but a child thinks it all goes away with the magic words 'I didnt mean it'.

I point out that its not the perpetrators feelings that are most important here, but the person it was said to. Even if it wasnt meant, its how it was perceived and received.

Its utterly rubbish to then hear this same crappy excuse being trotted out by adults - do they have no better moral and ethical reasoning than an 11 year old? Clearly not.

YANBU, although unfortunately this probably won't change their opinions, just that they might hold their tongues more. I feel bad for their students. Could you suggest to the manager that they organise some antiracism training for the staff?

Speak to other people you work with and see if they can complain top. This isn't right and the more people that speak up the better.

I suppose it depends on what the 'tales' were.

Perhaps the line manager didn't think they were racist?

Hard to say without knowing.

And 24 is not young at all! I thought you would say a toddler or something. You know what racism is at school age and you know it is wrong! 24 pfttt.

YANBU. Intentions are not magic.

This video "How to tell people they sound racist" has some v good tips.

colinmaxwell.wordpress.com/2009/11/17/tackling-racist-comments-a-primer/

FFS When the 15 year olds in my dds school call her paki, the staff report it as a racist incident. That's what they are supposed to do.
She just points out on a map how far Spain is from Pakistan.

24 years old is not young enough to excuse idiot behaviour like that.

I think you can change people's opinions, or at least encourage them not to air them and thus not perpetuate them.

It can be quite hard to argue without tying yourself up in knots. I would still always challenge it though.

People seem to think that doing an impression of a Chinese accent is the same as doing a Geordie accent and it's just not.

GothAnneGeddes .. interesting video .. thanks :)

depends on what they actually said really...

YANBU. Don't storm off if it happens again, but do keep challenging and reporting it. You should not be expected to tolerate racist behaviour in the workplace.

YANBU at all to challenge it. My XBF is Chinese and a member of my family refused to call him by his (English, easy to pronounce) name, instead calling him 'Ning Nong Ning Nong' because it was 'funny'. We don't speak any more.

YANBU. if people are never challenged, they will continue to do it. My husband is chinese, my daughter mixed race, and some of the things people say offend me. So I tell them or an appropriate manager.
Age isn't an excuse. I'm early 20's and I know better than that.

What exactly did they say as this will determine whether YABU or not. Im finding it hard to get offended by the tale of a trip to a chinese restaurant which employed chinese people if thats all they said.