AIBU to think he should relax a little if he wants to see his grandchild?

[CookieDoughJo]

A close relative is always complaining that he doesn't get to see his two year old grandchild all that often. But when his mother takes him to his grandfather's home they're unable to relax as his grandfather gets so uptight about him touching anything,or moving about,so she's reluctant to visit as she and her son are unable to enjoy the visit.

His grandfather isn't elderly,if that's relevant,and doesn't have any expensive or precious objects around the house,and his daughter doesn't allow her son to damage any items.

I can understand that it can be difficult to have a child in your home if you're not used to it,but as it's only for an hour or two I think he should learn to relax,if he wants them to visit as he says he does.

So AIBU to think that it's his fault that he doesn't get to see him more often,or is he being reasonable?

I forgot to add that he's not willing to visit them in their home. I don't want to dripfeed.

Yes he should relax - or make an effort and visit his daughter or suggest a neutral meeting ground.

Would he meet them somewhere like the park? Then the child could play and he could be a bit more relaxed.

He is BU to complain if he won't make the effort (i.e. meet outside his home) to see the child??

They did try the park once.He lives across from a lovely big park complete with animals which would be ideal,but after 30 minutes he'd had enough of 'the noise'. I may suggest trying it again though,or another park,or another suitable meeting place,as I see more of him than his daughter does,and he's been complaining to me about not seeing his grandson.

YANBU if that's exactly it

But I wish I had a pound for every parent who doesn't believe their spirited little darling is trashing someone's house...as they sit and watch them pull the contents of someone's cupboard out

I've no doubt there are parents out there like that,Worra.I've encountered a few,but they were here a few days ago,and we didn't have a problem.She didn't allow him to damage anything,and he was just being a typical toddler,but not a destructive one.

Ok, well when he complains can you not be 100% honest with him?

In a tactful way obviously?

I think I'll have to be,Worra.His daughter has tried to tell him,but he thinks it's just an excuse to avoid visiting him. He's probably/hopefully a little more likely to listen to other family members.

Yanbu - spit it out next time he raises the subject!