To bribe my DCs to go to an activity after school because I don't have childcare for that day?

[anothermadamebutterfly]

I have had to change my working hours, and I have been left without childcare one afternoon a week. At the moment they go to afterschool club two days a week, until 5. I now need to change one of those days, but the afterschool club is full for the day I need with a long waiting list, and I can't find a childminder around here at short notice.

There is an organised afterschool activity that runs until about 5, run by a parent I know. She has places and would be happy to take my kids, she knows my reason for wanting them to go, so no pretenses, and she doesn't mind me 'using' her activity as childcare. Friends of my kids go and it is a nice easy-going non-competitive activity and I am pretty certain my kids would be happy there once they started going. If they really hated it, I would probably be able to sort out some alternative or get places in the afterschool club after the summer holidays.

Problem is - the kids don't want to go! Big fuss when I mentioned it to them last night - they want to stay at the usual afterschool club.

So - AIBU in bribing them, for an easy life, by promising a trip to the cinema followed by hot chocolate and chocolate cake in town if they go for the remaining 5 or 6 weeks of term? Or am I just feeling guilty about nothing?

YANBU - they'll like it when they get there anyway

"you have to go, I have no other childcare and the after school club is full".

How old are they?

They are 7 and 8 and I know I am making a fuss about nothing. I have always used the "I have to work and I have no other childcare" thing in the past, and they always accepted it, so I don't know why I feel so guilty this time!

Thanks for the reassurance - they will probably come home from school and tell me they want to go.

Bribery is a much underrated weapon in the parenting arsenal.

Use chasingsquirrel's line to show you are in charge and that this is non-negotiable. Then add a sweetener.

ps - I think some of the guilt could be because I was a bit silly and probably could have got out of having my hours changed if I had been more proactive about it. I am a bit annoyed with work, really, as they were a bit sneaky and I didn't realise in time and now it has messed up my childcare arrangements.

I agree. Present it as non negotiatable.

BUT if they go with good grace they get a treat in the summer.

No good grace, no treat and still going to the session.

Edith that is pretty much what my DH said too!
OK, so time to end the guilt and just get on with it.
Thanks!

"After School Club is full, there is no alternative, you have to go, whether you like it or not. However, I would appreciate it if you go happily without whinging at me and are co-operative/join in/behave (delete as appropriate) when you are there, so if I get no moans and good reports from Mrs X, we will do X/you can have Y at the end of term"

..maybe?

YABU for bribing them - just tell them that is where they are going and its tough luck if they dont want to.

My DS hates the holiday/after school club but if I need to work he has to go - end of. I'm buggered if I'm going to bribe and beg.

Your kids are old enough to understand that OP so dont pander to them.

LOL at BettySwollocks. I do try to find holiday clubs which my DC like, but my DS has been known to say "do we have to go, cos if we do then stop selling it"

Betty LOL - I like your approach and I probably do pander to my kids was too much! My DD moans and moans about going to holiday club at the school and doesn't really like it, but we just sort of take her anyway and ignore it and she is fine!

Thanks for all the comments everyone, really helps! I guess they will simply have to go anyway whether they like it or not. I could still throw in the promise of a cinema trip as a softener though.

Have never reflected on this issue before! But now I see the problem with bribery is that it is encouraging your children to only be able to see another's point of view (their mother's in this case, struggling to do the right thing) if there is something in it for them ... not a good precedent to set I would have thought.

But, sometimes, I understand parents haven't got the energy to deal with it all.

But bribery has dangers for above reason.

Well, I just made a fuss about nothing - DC asked their friends who go to this activity at school today, and came home telling me it was apparently the best thing ever and they now really want to go.

And better still - going to this instead of afterschool club will save me £12/week .