to ask what your response would be if your spouse told you they had just ended up in tears following a conversation with a medical professional?

[COCKadoodledooo]

So. It was me, spoke to said professional and am not happy (it's over scan date for unplanned dc3, and am possibly being hormonal and oversensitive). So I emailed dh (can't call him at work). And got a very glib "yes they're right" email in return, with a link to prove it. And that's it. No sympathy, no nothing. AIBU to feel a bit fucked off/unsupported just now?

And yup, I realise IABU to have the longest thread title in the world, sorry [blus]

some more

I'd have been a bit more sympathetic than that to be honest if I was your spouse!

You're PG - you're allowed to BU, but honestly I don't think you are.

I would expect some support and comfort personally - even if they are right

He could have probably worded it a bit more sensitively but by sending the link at least he has made the effort to look into it and try to reassure you that way

maybe he was busy at work and will do the tea and sympathy a bit later - if eh couldnt actually talk to you its very hard being really sympathetic in an email and he was probably busy.

YANBU, but perhaps he's just in 'work mode' and is responding factually because this is what blokes tend to do when they feel helpless to respond in any other way. I'm sure he'll be able to understand and provide more support once you've explained things face to face.

Men are not the most sensitive or empathetic or creatures at the best of times.

I suppose it hard for your DH to do much if he is at work.

Maybe he was just really pushed for time, but really wanted to answer? But no, you're not BU!

I would be abit sympathetic, but DH wouldn't be. He's blunt and logical. Which is why Mn is good sometimes

Take it easy on yourself, OP. You are obviously worried and need an outlet.

May I be the first to say Leave The Bastard
And offer a soothing pat or shoulder bump or whatever you find comforting. And virtual and a nice piece of cake, and sympathy. Oh and the HP is a twat I know they probably aren't, but sometimes it makes you feel better just to have someone say it and I hope your baby arrives soon, swiftly and safely!

sympathy is quite hard on email.

That said, OP's DH gets a definite "could do better"

If he's at work he's probably busy.

Come here where we've all got plenty of time for tea and sympathy!

Poor you, even if they were right a bit more sympathetic noises wouldn't have gone amiss.

Thank you ladies. And another from me as he's just called me. And said pretty much what sirzy said. And I blubbed and snotted down the phone at him as he tried to understand my reasons for being upset.

He apologised for having got a ride share to work this morning because he wants to leave early and give me a big cuddle. He's off to chat to his head of department re time off then he's going to call a clinic this afternoon to try and arrange a private scan. I said we couldn't afford it but he said we have a credit card for emergencies and in this instance making me happy/finding out wtf is going on is an emergency.

Feeling much better now! Will take all the cake on offer though

wheremommagone my issue is that my mw advised at booking I had the nuchal scan/tests (unplanned pregnancy, so not been taking folic acid etc, plus am over 35), and that these need to be done by 13+6. The date they have given me is 13+1, BUT I am not certain of my dates and ovulate very early in my cycle, so there's a chance I'm much further on. And the mw was most unsympathetic and dare I say rude in the way she told me the guidelines had changed to 14+1 for testing, as if those 2 days make such a huge difference.

I absolutely agree with you and am glad a private scan is on the cards to reassure you. My sil had her nuchal scan at what they thought was 13+4 but adjusted dates made her 14+2. They then raised concern with extra fluid on back of neck- private scan revealed all fine and said that boys have more fluid than girls ( he's fab consultant and sexed my 2 correctly at12 weeks also!)
Your dh sounds a sweetie! Congrats and good luck with it all!