To tell my friend to stop talking to her DS all the time???

[TheHouseOnTheCorner]

I probably am but need you lot to tell me! My friend is a very old one and she has a DS and a DD...her DS is two and evrytime we meet for lunch or something, we both have at least one child with us...my DD is 4 and was with us today and she had her two year old DS.

We went to the pub...nice garden and all that so the DC can play....WHENEVER I tried to speak, she became ambroiled in some game of chat or peekaboo with her DS and yet when SHE wanted to crap on about her life, I listened!

It ws driving me mad! She's only done this since she had her DS...her DD is older and at school and to be fair, I saw them only rarely when her DD was a baby as we lived in different towns...so I have no idea if she did the same with the dd.

It's the same if we visit them or if she visits us...she HAS to play, chat and otherwise interact with her child on a tight, one to one basis...I KNOW that is healthy but surely the point of us meeting is for the DC to play and us to catch up? It's only a couple of hours...her DS isn't very demanding and my DD though 2 years older, is very good and enjoys playing with him...they play well!

SHe HAS to whizz over to him, scoop him up and have a little "private moment" every frigging 5 minutes and I do not exagerrate....and it is ALWAYS when I am talkng! Should I say something and what?

That would annoy me too.

But then it gets on my nerves a bit too when my friend says to her DD, when she interrupts "now darling, what do you say if I'm talking and you want to say something? That's right, you say, excuse me, good girl, now what was it you wanted" because it takes FOREVER. Whereas mine I just bark at mine"in a minute, Mummy is talking" and get on with the conversation.

I know her way is the 'right' way but it takes forever and is very wearing.

YANBU, but it's probably just a passing phase so if you do actually like her then just grit your teeth.

Passing phase or not, it is still annoying so keep at a distance until it passes.

I have a friend who does this, but mainly on the phone. Drives me spare. She'll ring me, but then spend at least half the call having a full blown conversation with one of her children. So rude.

oneofthose but as I said...it's not her DS who is doing the interruption its HER! He never says anything...he leaves her to it...she goes after him to play!¬

I think, reading all this that some parents are possibly paranoid that they are not offering enough interaction generally? Or that this constant fussing is "good parenting"

Is that it?

I knew a woman like this. She'd come round my house, drink my tea, eat my biscuits then not speak to me - just play with her dc. It's a balance really I think. Play a bit, chat to friend. It was almost done in a boastful type way - look at me - I get down on my dd's level and play - whenever she needs me to! Well fine, do it at home then.

Probably true bolter. Why do some parents turn into complete loons just because they have sprogged?

Trouble is it puts you off their kids and it's not their fault.

We had 4 Dcs and managed to function in adult company so absolutely hate helicopter type twats like this.

Same type of parent who calls their screaming tantruming toddler ' sensitive' instead of a spoilt brat.

YANBU, this does my fucking head in. Admittedly I am currently pregnant with 1st DC but said to my DH recently, "Promise me you will slap me with a wet kipper if I turn into one of those mums!" This because had just been on phone with my lovely, once very close friend who barely get talking to any more and her grizzling 2 year old sat beside her yapping for constant attention which she constantly gave him. Which is fair enough - but not when you're on the frigging phone!!! Could understand if I had phoned her and caught her at a bad time but she had deliberately phoned me because it was apparently 'a good time to chat!' No, a good time to chat is when 2 year old is tucked up in cot / being looked after by DH etc.

(No doubt this will come back to bite me on the ass when our DC arrives :o)

Ye gods she sounds annoying! I would just not invite her out. And if she invites you, seriously ask her why she wants to see you, because you kind of got the message last time ...

I would say something when she next suggests meeting up.
Something like "oh, I'm not sure, the last few times we've met you seem to have your hands full with little X. We don't get the chance to catch up properly. What about meeting in the evening..."
Trouble is, she may then spend the whole evening talking about/ phoning home to check on little X :(

YANBU. It boils down to basic good manners. Friends of ours have a 2yo DD and they think nothing of just breaking off mid sentence, or completely interrupting you, just because their sprog has done or said something. I find it deeply rude and make a special point either not to do it at all with DS, or to apologise to the person I'm with if I have to break off the conversation to shout at speak to my DS.

In fact, next time they do I am going to say something, because just thinking about it has made me a bit cross.

YANBU. My mad SIL is next to her DC ALL THE TIME...

"Oh, that's a great picture! You're so good at art! I love your truck! You used green! I love green! It's so good, buddy. Ok, I'm going to talk to Grandma for a bit, is that okay? No? Oh. Ok. Well..."

ARRGGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH!