Minor MIL issue

[scrappydappydoo]

Normally my MIL is lovely and in general we get on fine - I've been having a few small issues lately mostly to do with her absorbing a lot of dhs time.
This morning I agreed to do some photocopying for her. She's planning to rent out her house as a holiday let and she's put on the forms that there is a travel cot and a highchair available for use. Now this is our travel cot and highchair that we left in her home for us and other family members to use. We don't need the cot or highchair at the moment but are happy for family members to continue to use it.
I am not happy with her including them as part of the inventory firstly because they are not hers and she has not asked us if its ok. Secondly I don't think that other people will look after our stuff like we would. We're TTC DC3 at the moment so will hopefully be needing it all back but if we don't I'd like it to be good enough condition for us to sell.

I truly don't know if I'm being overly precious because I'm already slightly annoyed at her or if I'm genuinely BU. Be gentle!

I don't think YABU.

Perhaps ask if you can have them back, and store them in your own home? Or tell her directly that you've seen the particulars and you're not happy for your things to be used (although she might want to know why, and you may not wish to tell her you're TTC!)

Could you have a friend you are lending the cot and highchair to shortly?

I would niaivly ask "oh, have you bought a new cot and highchair?" When she says "no" say "oh, we were about to ask for them back so we can pop them on Ebay - as we need the money right now" or "oh, okay, we'll have to buy a new one for our 3rd dc then as I know the number of babies sleeping in a cot increases the chance of cot death"

How is she absorbing DHs time?

No we haven't told her we're ttc - she thinks we have enough already. I don't have a problem being direct. You know how sometimes other issues cloud another and I wanted opinions on whether I was being silly or not

What DeWe said. YANBU but this is a nice simple way to deal with the situation and not go into the fact you're TTC

Really? Maybe she just thinks you've finished with them? I would hand it over to her son/your DH to sort out with her. Have you spoken to him about your concerns regarding his time?

Any holiday lets we have bee to require a deposit for damage. Will this be the case? So if the items are damaged the despotic will cover them?

I don't think YABU btw, just ask your MIL if the items are damaged, you assume she will replace them as you may need them in the future?

And anytime we have been in a house like this, we have actually taken better care of things

as I know the number of babies sleeping in a cot increases the chance of cot death"

really?

Do you have a link to the research papers/peer review that show this?

I would quite like to read it.

Absorbing dhs time in that she lives 3 hours away and she's being clearing out the house to rent out and so far this year dh has spent 3 weekends and one week of his holiday time there helping out which I didn't mind as she's on her own and couldn't manage stuff but then she complained when he wanted to come back early on the May bank holiday to take dcs on a family day out.

We've just got back from another week down there - but she had so many jobs to do dh had hardly any time with us. We are also going on holiday with her for a week in August. I just feel like she's taking away all our family time at the moment but I know on this IABU as its only temporary and she has no-one else near enough to help and she is family but I think it is colouring the above issue.

I wouldn't want strangers using my travel cot tbh, but I like clean and you never know if people have the same standards etc, and she should have asked you if she could keep it there.

Ask for the stuff back for a friend as another poster suggested and say "you know you can get a highchair for £15 from ikea and travel cots only cost £30" or to that effect.

Taking my DHs family time would also irk me, totally understand that you are annoyed at her.

It is temporary and your DH is her son, and I don't think three weekends and a week this year is all that bad seeing as it's for a purpose.

Just imagine yourself on your own and your DS helping you out in your old age, it's not really too much to ask for the woman who wiped his nose and arse is it. We are really quite crap with older people in this country.

as I know the number of babies sleeping in a cot increases the chance of cot death"
Is this true? Our cot was a family hand down and many babies had slept in it and it's still being used.

It is not the cot but the mattress that is the issue with regards to cot death. As part of the SIDS prevention all parents are advised to get a new mattress for each new baby. A well known part of the programme now as far as I was aware?
With a travel cot that is going to be harder as the mattress tends to be rather specific and harder to replace than a normal cot mattress

I think you need to take the cot and highchair back to your own house, and just travel with them as required. If you insist that the cot and highchair remain there but aren't used, they will be taking storage space.

re the cots being passed down it really refers to re-use of mattresses.

the risk of sids is elevated for 2nd child compared to that of the 1st and again for the 3rd child and so on and so forth- there is general belief that this is due to re-use of mattresses - obviously there may be many other factors - google fsids as I read this on their website a whi.e ago.