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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think db is being a pompous got

29 replies

sincitylover · 10/06/2012 15:53

Have just driven my car home and it's been juddering all the way home.

Phoned my db for advice and after offering a couple of suggestions he started to lecture me about why I should be getting it regularly serviced.

Of course if I had the spare cash I would but I don't so haven't. In an ideal world I would have course have it serviced but I'm really strapped for cash.

I don't get why he doesn't get this ( am single parent in high rental accommodation) with two hungry boys!

He does have a history of this ( yesterday told me that of course the cap on hb would mean rents would fall) and this is also representative of my family's general stance of - blame sincity for everything.

Anyway it could be some dodgy fuel causing it which no amount of servicing would have prevented.

I do very low mileage in my car as well.

He has no dcs and a very young gf and has a history of rescuing waifs and strays and seems to be immersed in daily mail land!

I do value his advice but draw the kind at being lectured. There just doesn't seem much kindness in my family and I wouldn't dream of talking to him like that if he sought my advice

OP posts:
Original poster
sincitylover · 10/06/2012 15:53

Pompous git evenWink

OP posts:
juiol · 10/06/2012 15:59

YABU you should get your car serviced and MOTed (if it requires one) once a year for legal and safety reasons and if you can't afford to then you can't afford a car.

Original poster
sincitylover · 10/06/2012 16:04

Of course I get it motd every year and if it needs new parts - have replaced a battery and tyres this year.

Does every car owner really get their car serviced every year?

Are you saying that those on a limited budget should not own carsSad

OP posts:
TapirBackRider · 10/06/2012 16:04

YANBU - he's being an idiot.

sensuallettuce · 10/06/2012 16:07

Yes I get mine serviced every year "it's a false economy not to" as my dad tells me Grin.

Maybe just don't ask your brother for advice?

Or smile and nod? :)

Bunbaker · 10/06/2012 16:10

"Does every car owner really get their car serviced every year?"

We always do.

I'm sorry but your brother is right. You really should get your car serviced every year. You aren't doing you or your car any favours by not doing so. An MOT doesn't check or do the same things that a service does - an oil change for example, and it could cost you more in the long run if you don't. A friend of mine ignored a low oil light that came on and her engine siezed up and she had to fork out for a new engine.

Basically, you can't afford not to have your car serviced. If you have a limited budget you need to save for an annual service or join a scheme where you pay monthly. We both drive Fords and pay monthly so that when we get the cars serviced we don't get any nasty surprises.

tefek · 10/06/2012 16:12

YABU suggesting you should get your car serviced regularly is hardly the height of arrogance and is actually sound advice.

TapirBackRider · 10/06/2012 16:16

We're in the same boat as the OP - if we can't afford it, we can't do it.

Original poster
sincitylover · 10/06/2012 16:20

Thanks all I realise it's sound advice but just the way it was delivered I suppose.

Also as he has a company vehicle he of course does not have to fork out for this.

OP posts:
TapirBackRider · 10/06/2012 16:22

Sometimes it's just that you need a sounding board so you can let off steam/rant/vent, rather than get lectured.

Thanks Brew Hope the car sorts itself out OP

HecateTrivia · 10/06/2012 16:29

Yes, I have my car serviced every 10000 miles. It costs a couple of hundred pounds though. It's easy to say oh yes, you should get it serviced - but if you don't HAVE the money, you may as well be suggesting they walk on water.

A properly serviced and well maintained car does save money. It runs more efficiently, is likely to have fewer problems at the MOT and so on.

But you still need that money to have it serviced. And if having it serviced means not eating that week - it's impossible!

usualsuspect · 10/06/2012 16:33

Why can't some posters understand that a couple of hundred quid to some people is a small fortune?

Hope you get your car sorted OP,and ignore your brother

stargirl1701 · 10/06/2012 16:35

I service my car every year. It'll save money in the long run. Do you change your own oil etc.?

Doesn't seem like a lecture to me - just good advice.

mynewpassion · 10/06/2012 16:46

Good advice always sound like an arrogant lecture when you can't change your circumstances or have little choices. So I understand where you are coming from. However, it doesn't make him a pompous git.

Bunbaker · 10/06/2012 16:47

"Why can't some posters understand that a couple of hundred quid to some people is a small fortune?"

I do understand, but the consequences of not changing the oil, for example will cost far more than £200. I think it depends on how much you understand about cars. A regularly serviced car will cost less to run and less in repairs.

MrsRhettButler · 10/06/2012 16:52

I've never serviced a car HTH :)

usualsuspect · 10/06/2012 16:56

Note more annoying than asking someone for advice and getting told 'well you should have done this blah blah blah'

LST · 10/06/2012 16:57

OP We can't get our car serviced every year. An people who are telling you YABU need to walk a mile in someone's shoes who doesn't think £100 is nothing..

ComposHat · 10/06/2012 16:58

If I was your brother I'd be a mite annoyed too and I don't see what the age of his girlfriend has got to do with anything either . He tells you that you need to maintain the car properly. When you don't do it, surprise surprise, it doesn't perform as it should. You then go to your brother for advice/help on getting it fixed and are surprised when he says 'I told you so.'

If you can't afford to pay for a service you could learn to do basic maintenance jobs yourself, changing the oil/oil filter, topping up the coolant etc. is something any competent adult can do.

ShellyBoobs · 10/06/2012 17:14

YANBU.

Keeping your care safe is important but some of the work done in a service is totally irrelevant to that. Yes, a service might keep some parts of it running smoothly but it's not all important things.

And to those saying you absolutely must get a car serviced yearly, mine has a 'variable servicing' setting which means that depending on the mileage it can go 2 years without servicing, so it can't be so vital to have it checked every 12 months can it?

I spent a few years running cars on a shoestring when I first got started and had very little disposable income so I learned how to do some of the small jobs myself if my dad wasn't an uncaring twunt he would have helped. Could you maybe think about doing that?

Other than that, I'd make use of the free checks that some places like KwikFit etc do, just to make sure your brakes etc are ok. Of course they'll try to to sell you something but so long as you are careful to ask the right questions they can't force you to have pointless work done.

I too would be miffed at paying a garage £200 to change the oil and filter, check the lights work and put some grease on the door hinges. Some of them don't do a lot more than that going by what they advertise!

If your car is quite old, having a stamp in the service log book from the garage probably won't make it worth any more if you sold it, either.

ShellyBoobs · 10/06/2012 17:24

A friend of mine ignored a low oil light that came on and her engine siezed up and she had to fork out for a new engine.

Bunbaker, with all due respect, would someone thick enough to do that have benefitted from the car being serviced? It could have sprung a leak the day after the service and she'd still have wrecked her engine if she drove it without any oil.

Twinkleinmyeye · 10/06/2012 17:36

YANBU. But I think it might be a common brother/sister thing. My DH does that sort of thing to my DSIL all the time, even though he's not normally a pompous git. I call him on it, if it helps. Become really good friends with his DP so she can also defend you. :o

DartsAgain · 10/06/2012 17:39

My car does not need servicing every year. The servicing schedule is set on mileage not time, and it's set to every 20000 miles. When I was in a job some distance away, that equated to about 18 months, but now I've been made redundant, I'm not doing the mileage so it will be longer.

LaurieFairyCake · 10/06/2012 17:42

I've had my car for 3 years since new, not had it serviced and it's done 24,000 miles.

My mechanic friend told me it was a rip off and unnecessary for the first 20-30 thousand miles on a modern engine.

Obviously the dealership would say different Wink

ComposHat · 10/06/2012 18:38

I think the timing/frequency of a service is a matter of judgement and will vary according to model/type and frequency of driving.

However if you don't perform basic maintaince on a car, it WILL grind to a halt eventually. The op seemed narked when her brother pointed out the bleeding obvious. It isn't a question of money, most can be done yourself.

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