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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Rubbish DP....

14 replies

LilMama85 · 10/06/2012 13:10

Hi all, so heres my problem, i want to know if you think IABU..... I make the effort to go round and see DPS parents every other Sunday. We have a little girl aged 3, and its the only time she gets to see grandparents. My DP is supposed to come with me to see my parents on the alternate Sundays inbetween. He has accompanied me to my parents about once this year. He is either too busy watching football or some excuse or another. My mum is 60 next year, and wont be here forever, she loves DP, always asks for him to come, but i find myself making excuses for him week after week..... AIBU to think he shoud make a bit more effort, like i do with his parents. Its football today at 4pm, so yet again he wont be coming to my parents. He could watch it at my mums, but says he will be interrupted!!! WWYD???

OP posts:
FourEyesGood · 10/06/2012 13:17

You might be being a bit unreasonable. I detest going to visit my in-laws and avoid it where possible; I encourage my husband to take our children without me, and he often stays at home when I visit my mum with the children. You're very good for going to your DP's parents, but why not just let him take your daughter on his own sometimes? Does he actually like your mum?

squeakytoy · 10/06/2012 13:17

Unless your mum is in poor health, then 60 is not at all old!

trixie123 · 10/06/2012 13:20

fair's fair - if he gets an afternoon every other week to do his own thing then you should get the same, so next time its his parents' turn, don't go. tee up a good film and settle down for the afternoon. If he doesn't like that, then tell him he has to come at least every other visit to your mum's.

LindyHemming · 10/06/2012 13:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
LilMama85 · 10/06/2012 13:22

I just think ita a bit sad that she loves him so much and he cant be bothered. My mum is the sweetest little lady ever, she wouldnt hurt a fly, and would just like to see her son in law more than once a year. He likes my mum, i guess he can just find more important things to do with his sunday than bother to visit my mum . Maybe il just to the same as him and we will get nowhere! Squeaky toy i know 60 isnt old, i am just making the point that our parents arent here forever, and he may not be able to decide in ten years that hed like to visit her.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 10/06/2012 13:22

My Dad turned sixty twenty years ago....

As for your DH, it's a real shame he doesn't want to go, but you can't force him.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 10/06/2012 13:23

That would drive me mad OP - visiting in-laws/parents every weekend. Why don't you not go when he takes your daughter to his parents - you take her when you go to yours?

I wouldn't work with the arrangement at all, when are you supposed to spend time together as a family? I'd do a maximum of once a fortnight visit to either parents.

Either way - just because you like the arrangement as it is doesn't mean that your partner should and fall in line accordingly.

WorraLiberty · 10/06/2012 13:25

Do your parents/inlaws not visit you and your DH at all?

Original poster
LilMama85 · 10/06/2012 13:25

Trixi 123 i replied before you posted. Youre right, just his mum actually would think theres something wroung if i stopped coming. I actually like visiting his mum, just wish he was the same about mine. Im not asking him to come every time, just a little more effort on his part ....

OP posts:
Original poster
LilMama85 · 10/06/2012 13:30

Thanks for the posts, its nice to see the different points of view which is what i wanted. LyingWitchInTheWardrobe- It isnt whole weekend, the arrangement is every other Sunday, for an afternoon- like 4 hours!!! We have Saturdays and all sunday mornings as a family. I guess i should just start taking the alternate sundays as my day of rest and get watching a few chick flicks ;) x

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 10/06/2012 13:39

yy LilMama, that's what I would do. It might also make your partner realise that you do much of the co-ordinating and arranging of visits and actually - it's also his responsibility. I didn't ask about your relatives coming to visit you but is that a possibility for some weekends?

squeakytoy · 10/06/2012 13:52

do you actually go out or "do" anything, or is it a case of sitting there making small talk.. because that would bore me to tears if I had to do it on a weekly basis..

Original poster
LilMama85 · 10/06/2012 13:55

We live literally a ten min walk from both sets of grandparents. We useually visit them at their houses as we are both from big families, and our brothers, sisters, their partners would also be visiting, so we get to visit everyone in one go. Will be taking a few Sundays to myself from now on i think. Thanks for your views x

OP posts:
Original poster
LilMama85 · 10/06/2012 13:55

We live literally a ten min walk from both sets of grandparents. We useually visit them at their houses as we are both from big families, and our brothers, sisters, their partners would also be visiting, so we get to visit everyone in one go. Will be taking a few Sundays to myself from now on i think. Thanks for your views x

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