To be annoyed with dds school (uniform related)

[lollilou]

In her last week before half term dds shoes fell apart. Not a problem I thought I'll get her new ones during the half term so for the last 2 days of school she went in to school in black ballet pumps with studs on the front.I live 12 miles from the nearest shoe shop so went on-line and ordered her a pair of nice black brogues. So on the Friday she was pulled out of assembly and something was written down about her uniform she was not told what the problem was. Yesterday we received a letter stating that her shoes were not acceptable and that shoes must be black and polishable. Her new ones are not, though they are smart and black. The letter states that if she does not have the correct uniform she will not be allowed to attend lessons! Aibu to send her in them(well actually she has to wear them no money for another pair and no time either) Dh thinks we should send a covering letter, should we?

Ohh hollilou I don't think suede is going to work. Send 'em back!

My daughter chose these shoes and although a suede material they are waterproofed and don't have to last too long anyway her feet are growing and growing she'll be able to wear mine soon! Mind you I don't think high heeled boots would be uniform policy either lol.
I do think some of you are being pretty harsh but this is aibu.
Really I think my point is why didn't the school tell her what was wrong with her uniform there and then and what she needed to have instead of waiting a week? Or emailed/phoned me She has been pulled out before and told to go to the office because they at first said her trousers were too skinny legged but when she got there they said no those trousers are fine.

Yabu to by suede shoes for school! That is all.

School uniform really is a PITA.

I like the polo shirt/dark trousers/skirt combo. Nice and simple.

I think the school are being beyond daft.
But suede school shoes! ^

This seems to be a standard school shoe description:
Plain black leather with black stitching and laces where applicable. Formal style with a heel (no greater than 2.5 cm).

(No boots, high heels, trainers, plimsolls or sandals are permitted)

Does your school not have a website with all this kind of thing detailed?

Can't send them back as she would have no shoes in the morning! With hindsight I should have written a letter with the ballet flats but they didn't ask dd why she was wearing them. Oh well next time I'll know better!

Do you seriously think a teacher should have spent some of their working day making personal contact with you to point out what constitutes school shoes? Sometimes we just have to take responsibility and stop blaming the school for everything.

And yes, maybe harsh but it is AIBU!

How can a 12yr old be 'pulled out' of assembly, have something written down about her and not ask the teacher why?

I have a sneaky suspicion someone forgot to tell you they were pulled out for wearing the wrong shoes

I seriously don't believe I am blaming the school I just can't understand why they could not have told dd(as they did with the trousers) Then she would have come home and said "Mum I need new school shoes they need to be black leather(although technically suede is leather) She is 12 not 5. As I cannot find the original uniform letter I know I am probably in the wrong and should have checked the website. But again we didn't know the shoes were a problem until yesterday.

You probably don't need the original letter though, mosty schools keep all this kind of stuff on their website, for idiots like me who lose important stuff like that

No sorry Worra they pulled out lots of pupils and none of them were told why or given a chance to ask. Dd thought it was the trousers again and she is a truthful girl.

She didn't think to ask?

It would have been a good idea to send a note explaining. The same thing happened to me once with DS. And I sent in a note. (Not the black ballet pumps of course

I agree with you about wearing the ballet pumps for a couple of days is not unreasonable.
I do the UABVU buying her suede shoes when you say money is limited. Really, they will not last/look good after one bout of rain.

Could you not have emailled/called if dd wasn't sure ?

I ...went on-line and ordered her a pair of nice black brogues.

Can you provide a link? How far away from patent leather are they? Sounds like the school has form for re-interpretting its own rules as it goes along without giving notice, I know how annoying it is!

she has to wear them no money for another pair and no time either

Do you qualify for benefit money to help with school uniform?

Brainstorming, could she just wear her old shoes that have fallen apart? How fallen apart are they? DS-y3 is currently wearing shoes with big holes in them; he refuses to wear the replacement pair & I can't be arsed to make a battle out of it until school moans at me; might give you a chance to return & exchange for the shoes you really want tomorrow.

I read the OP as that the new brogue suitable school shoes are on order over half term, but didn't arrive in time for the last two days of term, so minilolli wore the ballet flats she already had at home, and they were then the cause of the kerfuffle at school. If the school had told her it was the shoes she could have explained that new brogues were on the way and would be here for her return to school after half term. That doesn't seem at all unreasonable to me would the school rather she missed lessons because they don't like her shoes? at least the damn things are flat and black. It sounds like the school have decided to have a crackdown on uniform, pulled several people and just assumed that they would know what it was that was "wrong" with their attire. A little bit more thought on both sides and the whole thing need not have happened.

Thank you everyone for your replies(even the harsh ones!) It has helped to put it into perspective. So to my mind the school were u for not just telling dd but I was u for not checking new(I think) uniform policy.
I think what I will do is write a letter explaining the suede shoes which she can give them if they pull her up on them(hopefully they won't) and find the money to order another more acceptable pair she can then wear the suede ones out of school.
Her school has undergone some changes recently so perhaps they are just tightening up on some things.
Oh and I love the name Minilolli!

No helpful advice over what has been said but reading this made me smile, no real issues with my dc over uniform But when I was a child 70/80s and being brought up by grandmother, my school, local comp no parental choice of schools then clamped down on uniform and I was told off for not wearing the regulation jumper. My grandmother marched to the headmasters office and informed him that if he wished me to have a particular uniform then she would be happy to meet him at the shop on Saturday when he could purchase it for me!
After that nothing was ever said about my uniform! My clothes matched the colours but were never school issue! We couldn't afford them. My grandmother had missed out on her scholarship to the high school in the 1930s because her father couldn't afford the fares to the next town and the uniform for the school. She had to leave school and work in the local factory. She always hated uniforms!!

That wouldn't wash with most schools today boaty

You would either have been given something from lost property in my DS's school or taught in the exclusion unit until you had the correct uniform.

if new suede shoes haven't arrived yet (and certainly not been worn yet) then why not return them for leather ones?

I know it doesn't wash these days, I was lucky with dcs schools both state and indie scholarship/bursary, no money here either they were very sensible schools, but I always chuckled at the thought of my gran usually very meek and mild confronting the head. I can just imagine what she would have had to say about situations over uniforms in school today.

I was lucky that my childrens school didn't care what shoes they wore.

Just as well really, because my DS spent all his secondary school days in a pair of Vans whatever the weather.