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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want to install a wormhole between here and my mum's house?

8 replies

BrittaPerry · 10/06/2012 02:17

Just come back from half term at my mum's house, in the town where me and dh lived until 3 years ago.

I'm homesick, I think, which is ridiculous, for a 27 year old married mum of two, who only lives 200 miles away anyway.

We were there for four nights. The first night I spent time with my elderly nana and did some studying, and the dds ran riot round the house (nana has some of the rooms in the same house) while dh went out with some old friends. Then the second day me, mum, the dds and dh went to the park, me and mum played with the girls on the play equipment that me and mum, and my sisters, played on when we were small (they have new stuff too, it's not like a time warp :) ). Then all back to the house where dh cooked tea for seven, and I went out with my best mate to a gig, then we came back and gossiped with my mum into the early hours. The next day we met up with our friend and his kids (he is the ex of my best mate, so his children are her children too) and went to the local museums, and then the men too the children and I went for a haircut and to buy a dress. That night an old and close friend that I have known since our teens came round for a huge catch up. The next day was a day trip with my dad to a nearby city, which the kids loved, then I went to brass band practice at the band that my entire family has been in at some point, and then out with my best mate and her friend for a night of feminism and being silly Grin

Over the entire time, the kids could just run around the house and I could relax because there were enough people to make sure they were safe. Often my two sisters are staying there too, and we get various aunties and cousins and long term friends popping in and out. My lovely (but also infuriating) nana is there, doling out unasked for bad advice Grin

The thing is, I live really near a big city, that probably has loads of silly feminists, museums and brass bands in it, but I never go there, because I don't know anyone (I know, vicious circle) DHs parents only have us, so their house would be even quieter if we didn't visit as much, and they help us far more than my parents could realistically, as my parents haven't retired. Being there all the time would not be a holiday, we would have to do boring things and be sint and not have babysitters all the time. Plus DH has a job here, DD1 goes to school, DD2 to nursery, etc - we can't actually move.

But...sigh... I miss everyone. My nana is getting old and confused. My friend split up with her partner and moved house and I could only chat to her on facebook. I didn't even get to see my sisters this time. One of my bridesmaids was busy at the times when I could meet her, so I couldn't buy her a drink to celebrate her engagement. I even got nostalgic for the style of houses in that area.

Someone give me a virtual slap. I hated it when I lived there!

OP posts:
BrittaPerry · 10/06/2012 02:21

I should add, I don't drive (can't for medical reasons, and also can't afford it) and for some reason train companies don't think anyone would want to travel between the major city I live near and the not very big, but has a big train station, town where my parents are, so it takes three and a half hours to get there by train.

OP posts:
BrittaPerry · 10/06/2012 02:22

I will be going bac more, to help with my nana, but I still miss it :(

OP posts:
comedycentral · 10/06/2012 08:53

Aww this is so sad! Is there no way of moving back?

roughtyping · 10/06/2012 09:14

Aw what a shame :( think of all the great memories you've made this weekend :) how old are your kids? Can you join any groups with them and find out where the nearest brass band is??

(also - love love love your username :))

WheresMrMonkey · 10/06/2012 10:04

Pretty much in exactly the same position!!! It is so so hard.. You have lots of sympathy from me.

Gentleness · 10/06/2012 10:13

Ah - I am in the same position, but a decade on and no chance of moving back in the foreseeable future. Feel for you. And yes, probably if you (or I) moved back there'd be frustration aplenty, but still, it's HOME. Some places don't let you go.

BetterOnACamel · 10/06/2012 10:18

I want to give you such a cuddle right now! I so feel you. My mum is oceans away and my everything. Just the thought of her aging keeps me up nights. I miss my friends, my family, my dogs, the weather. Since you are not as far away, perhaps you should plan a regular visit, once a month, once every two months. It would be a great break for you to just breathe and be loved. And I expect your mum and nana will be happy to see their baby.

COCKadoodledooo · 10/06/2012 12:47

If you figure out how to do it can you build me one too please? Similar distance away and it sucks. Sympathies x

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