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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think "Get your own fecking swim toys"

54 replies

mawbroon · 09/06/2012 20:43

I feel like a right misery guts, but every time ds1 wanted to use one of the toys that we had brought to the pool today, I had to go and fetch them off somebody else.

Fair enough in a family fun session where the pool provides floats etc and it may not be clear which belong to the pool and which belong to individuals, but when there is one noodle, one diving ring and one ball lying on the poolside AIBU to expect people to leave them alone? Or are other peoples swim toys fair game??

OP posts:
Original poster
mawbroon · 09/06/2012 21:02

See, I wouldn't assume that they belonged to the pool, and I would only take toys from the side unless I was sure it was ok.

Maybe that's where I'm going wrong.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 09/06/2012 21:03

Yes but you're an adult OP

You can't expect excited kids to think the same way.

chunkythighs · 09/06/2012 21:04

why don't you get a large net bag and put all your sons toys into them and keep the bag hanging on your elbow.......like the queen Wink.

Failing that you could just build your own pool house.

Original poster
mawbroon · 09/06/2012 21:05

It wasn't just kids that were borrowing them.

And I would tell ds1 not to use toys that were on the poolside, unless we were sure that they belonged to the pool.

OP posts:
Booette · 09/06/2012 21:24

It depends on the age of the kids. I wouldn't mind other toddlers taking the toys, although I'd tell my kids not to take what wasn't theirs.

However when I went swimming we left some armbands on the side as we were in the tiny pool and a teenager tried to go off with them (to the big pool), so I told him to put them back, I don't think he really needed them!

littleM · 09/06/2012 21:41

Before last weekend I would have said yabu. We take seal diving sticks to our local village pool and they are clearly labelled so can tell not pool property. Last weekend someone nicked 2 of them and I was pretty sure who - asked them if they had them and they said no - I saw the same boy pick up another pack and his mum said great that will save me a tenner!

Yanbu - I have no problem sharing but naively expect them to be returned

JollyGoodFun · 09/06/2012 21:45

I don't know anyone who takes toys to the pool. Therefore I would be quite likely to borrow them as I'd imagine they belonged to the pool and I would have probably reacted with surprise when you asked for them back.

I certainly wouldn't be saying to Ds 'please don't play with any toy you find in the pool without checking with all surrounding adults and children that it doesn't belong to someone else'.

Yabu

WhereYouLeftIt · 09/06/2012 22:04

I honestly would assume that these "swim toys" were owned by the pool, in the same way the floats etc in my local pool are. What are they doing by the side of the pool - if you take them in to the pool, why aren't you actually using them?

Zipitydooda · 09/06/2012 22:20

I don't see what's wrong with sharing them as long as people give them back when you want them.

When we take sand toys to the park, I encourage my children to share if there is a child with no toys who wants to use them and my children are not.

whenyouseeitwaveorcheer · 09/06/2012 22:26

If this sort of thing upset me then I wouldn't take them in the first place.

It's nice to share, isn't it? I took a big bag of books and toys to the walk in clinic at the hospital when we had to take DD2 at xmas and were anticipating a long wait. The DD's loved sharing their stuff with the other children in the waiting room. It's nice, surely?

serin · 09/06/2012 22:27

YABU but you already know that!

Silverlace · 09/06/2012 22:27

YANBU. This drives me mad too.

I got one of those net bags with a zip on you use to keep socks together in the washing machine to put seal sticks and other pool toys in. People generally leave things alone if they are in a bag. If you are playing with some toys just leave the bag
on top of the bigger things on the poolside.

Oh and put names on everything in indelible marker.

If a child is playing with my children I would encourage them to share but do object to others we have had no contact with buggering off with our stuff to the far end of the pool.

Dozer · 09/06/2012 22:29

Yanbu, obviously not the pool's if yours are the only toys there.

5Foot5 · 09/06/2012 22:30

Actually I sympathise wth the OP's POV a bit here. People say "What's wrong with sharing" and that is fair enough, what indeed. But surely it is only polite to ask first?

Someone further up gave an example of other children playing on her DS's scooter in the park. Well if they said "Please may I have a go on the scooter?" that would be fine but I would take a dim view of a child who just took it without asking. And, no, I would never have let DD do that to another child's toys.

ShhhhhGoBackToSleep · 09/06/2012 22:31

YANBU, this annoys me too. We usually take 2/3 toys to the pool when we go as it is a bit boring otherwise - there are no toys or floats provided by the pools around here so there is no confusion that the toys don't belong to someone.

I have no problem with sharing, but some children just take them (sometimes snatching them out of my sons hands) and their parents seem to think that's fine. We have had a few "accidentally" taken off to showers/changing rooms too, which I have had to reclaim. It's usually older children who are old enough to know better, we aren't talking about toddlers here.

If DS tries to take a toy or float or whatever I just explain that it isn't his and it isn't for sharing. Sometimes the parent or child will say its fine, and he has a go then gives it back. If it's the other way round then I say it's fine for them to have a go, but it is really rude to just take something that doesn't belong to you without asking, surely? If I was sitting in the park and someone came up and started having a go on my phone that would be unreasonable, no?

whenyouseeitwaveorcheer · 09/06/2012 22:32

Seriously, what are seal sticks/seal toys? People keep mentioning them and I have no idea.

mercibucket · 09/06/2012 22:34

I've never seen anyone take swim toys to the pool. Our pool has all kinds of toys. Agree with others - bring a net bag or plastic box to keep them in

DowagersHump · 09/06/2012 22:38

Seal sticks are weighted things you chuck on the bottom of the pool for kids to retrieve.

I was the one that mentioned the scooter. It didn't bother me if a child asked or not. It's a bit much to expect a 3 year old to know that they are supposed to ask to use one toy in a playground when they don't have to ask to use any others. If I saw a parent looking around anxiously, I'd say that it was fine. It's really no big deal if your child is busy/happy doing something else.

JugsMcGee · 09/06/2012 22:49

How are you supposed to know who to ask if they're just on the poolside?

I went swimming with DS and my mum last week and we picked up a woggle that was floating in the pool. A woman came over and asked for it back so we apologised. But it was just floating in the pool! If you don't want to share then keep hold of it.

whenyouseeitwaveorcheer · 09/06/2012 22:52

thank you dowagers

LRDtheFeministDragon · 09/06/2012 22:54

Yes, it wouldn't occur to me they weren't for everyone. Marks are a nice idea but then, think how many adults take glasses off and don't use contacts in the pool, and how many children can't yet read ... I think you'd still be having a problem.

Imagine if everyone brought toys and left them lying around, too - you'd be constantly tripping over them.

EnjoyResponsibly · 09/06/2012 23:10

Over time I have learned to chill on this. For instance, we seem to be the only people on holiday who take toys to play with in the pool.

My tip, you need to adopt a tolerance but also a tone, a cross between firm and conciliatory, when you want them back.

5Fingered · 09/06/2012 23:15

I don't think you're being unreasonable OP. Kids should learn not to touch stuff that doesn't belong to them.

DowagersHump · 09/06/2012 23:49

How is a child supposed to know when there are woggles and floats lying around that are for general use and when they belong to someone? I think it's very difficult for small children to understand that in most public places in most circumstances, things are for sharing but at other times they're not. It's asking for an extremely sophisticated understanding of social mores that small children simply don't have.

Either chill out and accept that other children will borrow them or don't take them at all.

BBMs · 10/06/2012 00:08

I don't think YRBU, ppl should teach children since they are little not to grab someone else's stuff! I always teach kids to ask first and if they aren't sure, not to grab it... Really annoys me when ppl feels entitled to just pick up stuff that doesn't belong to them.