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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Or petty?

26 replies

Possumatthedoor · 09/06/2012 17:24

At the end of the summer term, my youngest is moving on to senior school. And while I don't want a prom do, I thought a leaving party would be a good idea.

I sent out an email to all the mothers in the year, and got a very positive response back, so I sent out another email with a selection of dates, and 95% of parents came back to me and said can't do x date, but can do others, and these were all sent as group emails that all could see.

I then got an email from an alpha mother who said 'me and x (her partner in crime) have organised a leaving prom, we've booked it all, we were just going to email everyone nearer the time to let them know when it was, but now we are going to have to spoil it and tell them about it now that you've sent out an email'.

Then a group email went out from this mum, saying there is a party at school on x date, we want all children to be there.

Well x date is the one where majority of parents can't make it.

So the leaving party/prom party doesn't have most of the year group going, and now it has more siblings attending than the leaving year.

AIBU and petty to do a low key, non prom type, get together bash, on a date that the parents said they could make, and over step this prom party?

OP posts:
sensuallettuce · 09/06/2012 17:27

You have all the email addresses of the mums at school?! Shock

Not sure if YABU or not.

CaliforniaLeaving · 09/06/2012 17:28

Go ahead and do a party that 95% can attend, if people want to go to both thats fine it's on different dates. she's being a bitch about it. What do you care what she thinks, your moving onto the next school.

Possumatthedoor · 09/06/2012 17:28

Yeah, our school sends out a list at the beginning of every year, its for birthday parties and socials and the like. Very useful thing!

OP posts:
UnChartered · 09/06/2012 17:29

maybe more knew about the prom-style party than the other parent is letting on?

UnChartered · 09/06/2012 17:29

i'd be fucking livid if DDs school sent out my email address to everyone Shock

RationalBrain · 09/06/2012 17:30

No, I don't think yabu. It's not like its also a prom, just a different kind of leaving party. Don't see why they can't have both. You'll have to word your email to this alpha mum very carefully and politely though, to be clear it's not a competition!

Panzee · 09/06/2012 17:30

Did they say they can't make that date because they knew about the other one? Does it matter who organises it? (although I am very lazy and would jump at the chance of someone else doing it :o)

Catsdontcare · 09/06/2012 17:30

I think unchartered is right the other parents knew about the other party. Seems odd that so many would have been unavailable

knowsitall · 09/06/2012 17:31

praise be to the Lord we didnt have this nonsense when my kids were at school

Possumatthedoor · 09/06/2012 17:32

Parents are asked for their permission before it is given out. I know some parents have email account just for this or other junk stuff, i.e. not their regular email.

OP posts:
Lovetats · 09/06/2012 17:32

Yes, definitely have an anti-Prom party on your chosen date. The other mum is being an arsemunch.

Catsdontcare · 09/06/2012 17:32

Tbh it's the kids that matter and if a party has been booked that they can all go too and have a great time then I would leave it at that.

I would email a friendly response and leave it at that

Possumatthedoor · 09/06/2012 17:33

No they genuinely can't make the party, and are gutted that their kids can't go to the party. It's not anti-prom stance. It's that date due to random non-related other commitments they can't make it.

OP posts:
Catsdontcare · 09/06/2012 17:33

I hate planning parties so am happy for alpha types to go ahead without consultation!

Possumatthedoor · 09/06/2012 17:34

But they can't all go to, majority can't go, and that's why I want to arrange alternative. Like an earlier poster I take the easy route, if it was on a date where majority could attend and were attending I'd be staying well out, and just sending my kid along.

OP posts:
UnChartered · 09/06/2012 17:36

all of this is making my head hurt already, what a load of shite

honestly, have a leavers disco in the school hall one night near the end of term..that's it

Panzee · 09/06/2012 17:36

Ah, if they're not holding back because of the other party I would definitely go ahead. Actually even if they are I would go ahead anyway - you and other posters have convinced me of that! Nice low key stuff - some children prefer that. :)

PurplePidjin · 09/06/2012 17:37

I would carry on with your plans, tbh, i see no reason to cancel your party just because some twin set clad alpha mummy has clasped her pearls and stamped her Louboutins!

sensuallettuce · 09/06/2012 17:38

Is this an independent school?

Possumatthedoor · 09/06/2012 17:38

Unchartered that's what I originally suggested in my email, and that's what I want to do.

Just this mother has arranged a huge over the top party at a weekend, that kids aren't around for.

OP posts:
JumpingThroughHoops · 09/06/2012 17:38

We had a Leavers Disco for the whole year group, then one class bundled round to one house to carry on with the party in a more adult fashion Grin. That way parents could say goodbye to their friends as the children were scattered between many secondary schools.

Possumatthedoor · 09/06/2012 17:40

No state

OP posts:
UnChartered · 09/06/2012 17:40

then what's the problem?

have you got 'your' do organised? if so, whatever - no dice surely?

PurplePidjin · 09/06/2012 17:40

this mother has arranged a huge over the top party at a weekend, that kids aren't around for.

That's her problem!

UnChartered · 09/06/2012 17:42

exactly what PurplePidjin says

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