To throw odd socks away to make a point?

[5Fingered]

I HATE dp having anything to do with the laundry (or pretty much anything) because he's so useless. To put a wash on he literally grabs a massive handful of mucky clothes and squashes them into the washing machine. This results in a million odd socks because he doesn't bother to pair them up first.

I'm so sick to fucking death of odd socks everywhere I've told him from now on that any odd socks I find will be thrown away instantly, even if they're new. I don't have time to fuck about pairing up socks because he's lazy and useless.

AIBU

Well I think you're going to have to deal with your OCD then, 5Fingered, because this does not sound like a good way to live. Look at what you said at the start of this thread - "I HATE dp having anything to do with the laundry (or pretty much anything) because he's so useless." - what do you think it feels like to be your DP? To be considered useless? And do you tell him he's useless (I do hope not)? Honestly, the socks are the least of your problems.

No I never tell him he's useless but I do ask him nicely not to put odd socks in the washing machine as it fucks me right off. I'm even ok with him leaving it all to me, I don't mind doing it. Same with the washing line, not hanging stuff up properly or not hoovering properly so that the carpet lies in the same direction - I don't mind doing it.

But maybe he minds you doing it?

It would drive me insane if my DH decided I was useless at everything and insisted on doing it instead of me.

Please seek help for your OCD.

So what are you doing to address your OCD?

I don't know how to seek help. I'm scared I won't get taken seriously.

That really is affecting your life - and your dp's. Go to the GP and ask for help, tell him/her how much it is affecting the way you live.

Start here?

To be honest it frightens me to death that if I start getting help for it, I will be expected to have the carpet lying the wrong way or stuff hanging on the washing line wrong or spoons in the fork section etc etc and I just can't imagine having to live with that. It makes me sick just thinking about it.

That's understandable though.

Just imagine how many OCD sufferers...or any kind of phobia sufferers feel when they go to eventually seek help.

I imagine they feel a mix of exactly what you describe, coupled with disbelief that they could ever actually be cured.

But so many people are cured of these things very quickly, so you know it makes sense.

Like Worra says, that's understandable. But - thinking about having to live as you do now for the rest of your life - are you comfortable with that? Always being tense and wound up by other people's behaviour? Always wondering when your DP will decide he's had enough of being made to feel like an encumbrance and decide to go elsewhere, with someone who doesn't think he's useless? Because he'd have to be really thick not to pick up on it.

DP has socks with days of the week written on, each with different coloured toes. Very easy to reunite. Would work so long as you aren't bothered about them being worn on the wrong day. Has some nice coloured toe ones without days too.

I don't understand though. If you do all your washing on one day it doesn't matter which load anything is in as it will all be dry around the same time and can be paired up and put away then.

We just fling everything in the laundry basket, then when there's enough for a dark wash do one, same for white, or do as many washes as it takes on a Saturday. Stuff dries, socks all reunited, put away, easy peasey.

We've tried the days of the week socks but I can't be doing with him wearing the wrong day socks so it didn't work out. God I sound mental.

I know I can't live like this forever but seeking help for it is like asking an arachnophobic to hold a spider. The thought of having to listen to someone eat makes me murderous. I worry I won't cope with treatment.

You can't know if you will cope or not unless you try.

Get the coloured to ones without the days then - DPs are quite jaunty, two colours on each, probably from M+S.

Spiders turn out not to be so scary, mostly. It's amazing what you can deal with when you have to. Do try, it might be a much better experience than you imagine.

Embrace the odd sock bag. One per household member. Into it go all socks that are not obviously part of a pair when you peg them out (in which case peg together - Ikea octopus is your friend - & roll as you take them in).

Every half term I make damn sure I wash everything, sort through everyone's odd sock bags & shove any I can't match into a bag for the textiles bank.

But do seek help with the OCD if it's this much of a problem.

It is sods law that you throw away socks you find, then you are left with more odd socks, when you find the other sock?

Best to buy all one colour or two colours only, then that way you can never end up with a lost, lonely single socks.

Fast forward 12 years and there is even a band called 'Andy and the Odd socks'. I guess OP's DH was just ahead of his time.

This thread is 12 years old.