to think school reports are a load of shit

[shortofbread]

My dd1 who is 5 has had her first ever report card. It doesn't have one positive statement in it.

Anything verging on positive shot down by words like 'sometimes' and 'generally'

She is 5 ffs.

The statement that really makes me want to laugh and cry all at the same time is 'Little Miss Shortofbread is sometimes confused by processes but she generally works well once the process has been clearly understood'!

Is it just me?

Aah, sorry to hear it's so negative.:( There should be something nice to say about every 5yo child. Maybe her current teacher just doesn't get her, and she'll have a better experience next year. :)

That sounds to me like teacher speak for 'she doesn't listen to instructions the first time round, but once I have repeated myself, she's well away'.

YABU to think all school reports are shit. I always liked primary school reports because I never took them too seriously. I already knew if my dc are/were doing well. Secondary school interim reports are another thing altogether.

Eh? I am confused by that statement. She is confused by process by works well once she has understood it - what a surprise that she doesn't work well when she hasn't a scooby what is going on.

Sometimes and generally are used to water down the fact that things aren't always rosy. As you point out, she is 5 but she is also at school so there are some things she will still need to learn how to do.

I teach secondary but part of my job is reading the whole record of every pupil back to nursery. I see reports like this and think they do seem a bit harsh. However, what's the point if you only get told the awesome things?

Having said that, some people are tight arses with praise - try to to take it too personally.

Maybe sometimes and generally is what they mean.

Nor sure what processes are referred to, but I think it's clear that Miss Shortbread has some initial difficulties which are overcome, and then she's mostly OK. The teacher can't say she's totally got it if she hasn't.

There is no 'she needs to try harder with this' its all just wishy washy.

It would be nice to find one positive thing to say, she is only 5 and a late birthday too.

Also things in report that just are not accurate. Like she can only count to 20 and needs to practise counting to 100. Yet if i ask her count to 100 she does it with ease.

If it is a teacher clash then god help her as she will have same teacher for the next 4 years.

My ds was reading the same books as dd at this stage yet there were no negative reports. Dd is only sometimes performing at the expected standard for her stage despite reading the same books at the same stage.

I just don't get it. Maybe thats where dd gets it from!!

That reads to me as a cut'n'paste job.

There'll be a comment bank.

X is often/sometime/occasionally confused by processes but s/he sometimes/generally/always works well once the process has been clearly understood.

Dead giveaways - too many easily replaced adjectives & adverbs, passive voice in order to avoid using names or gender pronouns too often (PITA to keep using find & replace).

Also, it may have been 'written' weeks ago to allow for collation & duplication, so your dd has quite likely made progress since then.

They are of limited use, you're quite right.

They are absolutely set statements.

Allowing for no individuality. Not sure what has to be gained from this reporting format but i do know that my children's reports used to sound like someone i knew. This report says nothing about my dd.

FWIW - I never use comment banks.

That's a cop out IMO.

I always personalise a report. I expected it when my DC were at school so why would I not practice what I preached.

And we are supposed to use set "statements" about attainment - but that is different to achievement and personal progress.

If there are sections that are not from a comment bank - often in the summary they are more personalised and human - then I'd be ok with that. These are statements taken from the level indicators for each area of the primary curriculum, I am assuming? However, it the whole report is like that then it is lazy and pointless reporting, given they've taught one class of 30 for an entire year, rather than say at secondary where you might be one of hundreds passing through their lessons in a week, and I would indicate my dissatisfaction in the feedback.

Dc1's first report referred to she and Joshua; neither being accurate in his case.

Is she in reception? There is a an EYFS report auto-generated by the E-Profile (the tool we have to enter the children's scores into to return to County) which is full of this type of stuff. We then write a 'proper' report as well, but it might explain this guff!

My DS was admittedly praised by his teacher for his 'pleasing manor'. We didn't realise he'd inherited.

It's definitely 'teacher speak'

If it makes you feel any better, I was talking to my DS's Primary Deputy Head the other week (just idle chit chat as a Governor) and he said he was pissed off at the report his DD got from her school because it said things like, "We have been teaching DD this and last term we were teaching her that..."

He said he has no desire to know what the teachers are doing, all he wants to know is how is daughter is progressing!

Yes cut and paste jobbys annoy me so much. One one report dd was even called a he.

I'm shocked that there is nothing positive! - many schools have the opposite problem in that teachers are not allowed to write anything negative.

In the first school I worked in I was asked to reword the more negative comments because 'the report card is something parents keep and therefore it's not nice if there are negative things on it'!! So statements like 'X is creative and enthusiastic with lots of interesting ideas' actually ended up standing for something like 'X is disruptive and relatively talent free!'

Where I work now we can say what we think (within reason!) and the reports are therefore both personal and useful.

My favourite bit in reports is to look for the teacher-speak for "Miss/Master Seeker is doing very well, but would be doing even better if she/he would shut up and listen for 5 minutes before putting her/his tuppenceworth in" it's always there somewhere!

I loathe the cut and paste jobbies. My dc used to go to a small village primary, where they prided themselves on being personal and all that jazz. Then they roll up at the end of the year with a report that is the same as everyone else in school. Bloody lazy and boils my p*.

I teach in the UK but I went to school abroad. I was used to report cards having a grade so my parents and I knew how well I was doing in accordance with what was being taught that year. There might be a comment at the bottom that was more specific and would highlight what I was doing well at and what I needed to work on to improve.
I trained as a teacher in the UK and was shocked at the style of these reports, to me they are meaningless.

I'm writing them now!!! Each one typed straight into Word as we've dispensed with computer generated ones as they weren't personal enough. I think that they are fairly individual this way although when the pupils have covered the same stuff in Art etc, it's quite hard to make 30 sound totally different unless you have a child with a particular talent/interest. The Maths, English and General Stuff boxes are the easiest to do - I just tell it like it is! (Within reason for the sake of my car tyres!) To be honest, I hate writing the things as I know that despite spending the entire half term writing them (both children farmed out to holiday club every Whitson for this reason) they'll barely be read before they become a coaster for someone's coffee who also thinks that school reports are a pile of shit!

To be fair, I also take the reports that my children bring home with a very large pinch of salt.

The biggest problem with school reports is that teachers are supposed to be positive all the time and sometimes there really isn't a lot positive to say.
I can honestly say that I would rather have the unvarnished truth about my child than dressed up in soft speak that could mean anything. Th only reports we get now from the comp. is apage of numbers from 1-4 for every subject, each number relating to a statement about attitude/ ability etc. Now they really are crap! YANBU!

Well my 12 year old dds form teacher said. 'he has enjoyed my dds occasionally subversive sense of humour'.

Teacher speak for your dd is a cheeky little cow??

I learnt not to take too much notice of school reports - some weren't worth the paper they were produced on.

I was told my son Andrew was making good progress in French and that she excelled in sports.

My son was not called Andrew. Wasn't even taking French and suddenly swapped gender. Rest of subject reports had son's name correctly so I hadn't got wrong report. This was signed by form tutor, head of year and headteacher, so all three hadn't exactly proof read it before it got sent out. I highlighted these errors in red pen, sent it back and they sent a new one substituting name and gender but unfortunately not realising my son didn't do French. I gave up with it, don't take school reports to heart, OP, there's a lot of copying and pasting going on.

My ds was "a born leader" one year.