To ask a PCSO to scare DS?

[BlackEyed]

Quick background.

My DS is 8 years old. He is diagnosed with global development delay, adhd and autism. He is very literal. struggles to understand right from wrong, has no concept of conscequence, no understanding of emotion and is very self centred, all as a result of his needs.

We have battled his behavioural issues most of his life and have now found ways of dealing with unwanted behaviour and so he has been doing really well recently.

However in the last week he has started stealing. It began with small things brought home from school and I let it go thinking he may have put them in his pocket by mistake obviously took the things back. Then he started doing the same thing as houses we visited, family and friends etc.

Now he is taking money, not only from my purse but also that of visitors. He has no concept of money and is never alone so he is stealing for the sake of it rather than to spend the money iyswin.

It's getting worse and I need to put a stop to this. I suggested to my DP that we should get a PCSO to come round in uniform and explain how serious stealing is and the consequences. DS is quite respectful of authority and understands you do what the police say etc. so hoping it will shock / scare him into stopping the stealing.

DP thinks it's cruel as will upset him.

I really think it may work as when he was setting fire alarms off at school as visit from a fire man solved the problem. When he was pulling his teeth out a stern taking to from the dentist worked etc.

I am stuck as to how else to deal with this.

So AIBU to get a PCSO to visit?

i think so. the tone there is cautious, a bit uncertain.
don't scare him that way. use examples from the news of theives being sent to prison. it's less personal.

I did this with my DS when he was 13 (and caught stealing) although he does not have SEN.

They were firm but fair with him, he nearly shit a brick and he will NEVER steal again.

Short sharp short .

Yabu. You should get support from someone with the know how to help hm given his issues. If he does not understand the concept of money then how will he grasp the concept of stealing?

Plus he is EIGHT! That's very young.

Oops - didn't see he was 8 maybe a bit young .

I think it sounds like a good idea. If a visit from the relevant professional has worked in the past then it is worth a try again. It sounds to me that even if he doesn't (possibly cannot) grasp that stealing is wrong because it is dishonest, it upsets people and it deprives them of their property, he will accept that stealing is wrong because a policeman (or similar) says so. Whatever works for you.

I understand the sentiment of using authority to reinforce an important message. However, I don't think it should be used as a scare tactic, not until he's a bit older.

Could a school visit be organised instead? A PCSO could deliver a positive 'this is how to be a good citizen' type session which covers stealing and consequence, in the same way the Fireman would talk about fire safety and not playing with matches.

I see what you're saying thing OP maybe you could explain to the PC that he has SEN and not to frighten him...or be too stern...but factual....the PC could explain that his job is to ensure that people don;t take other peoples thiings...and if they do then they get in trouble? But not talk of prison....your DS could get confused...what if someone offered him a crisp from their packet...if he is very literal he may thiink that is the same as taking someone elses things...

Does his school have a PCSO on their patch, so to speak?

My DD's school does, he's lovely and all the kids adore him. He deals with anything from idiots parking on the zig-zags on the crossing to coming in to school and giving talks on stranger danger etc.

Maybe that would be a better way to approach things? Have the authority figure speak to him in school, and not at home which is his safe place.

It's so hard as he has the SEN, of which I know very little so can't comment on.

Just thought it may be worth you having a chat with school, see if they have a PCSO on hand to help.

Why don't you contact your local PCSO and have a chat with him/her, and see how you feel after that? Explain everything as you have here and see if you're comfortable with them coming to have a word. They wouldn't be unpleasant; they'd simply explain to DS that stealing is wrong and this is the consequence etc. If, as you say, DS is more influenced by authority figures than anyone else, then it sounds like a really good idea. There's no way at all that any police figure would come round your house and frighten an 8 year old, so unless you think that their mere presence would upset your son (and it doesn't sound like you do), then go for it.

That's what I'm hoping thingamajig.

No amount of me or anyone else telling him will make him believe it is wrong but he knows you never disobey a police officer, that's one of the rules he never breaks.

I know he is young but I'm not thinking of a police officer telling him about prison etc. just an officer in uniform to say stealing is wrong and you shouldn't do it again.

Other than that how do I stop this, fwiw the "professionals" are not interested. They simply said keep all valubles out of reach but it isn't just valuables he takes, it's anything he finds. Including a friends glasses. We can't keep him at home in an empty room forever.

The prescense of s police officer wouldn't scare him but a previous poster has just made a very good point about wording it carefully.

We had major issues a few years back when a teacher told him to never talk to strangers. She forgot to point out that while doctors, dentist, new teachers etc. are strangers at first they are ok to talk to.