To think weddings don't need to be dragged out....

[bitingteeth]

I enjoy a wedding as much as the next person, but am becoming increasingly bemused by rise in couples who are expecting guests to come to another lunch/BBQ/buffet the day AFTER the celebrations. I expect the rationale is to see a bit more of people perhaps. Maybe I am just being antisocial, but I made enough small talk at the wedding, why does everyone need to get together again. I think one day/night is enough. Why does it need to be dragged out to another day?

It depends on the location. If you have guests traveling a distance who do not see their relatives from one year to the next, it's nice to have an informal get together the next day when the wedding stuff is out of the way.

I have experienced the excruciating horror of the present opening in Canada (didn't realise that this was a Canadian thing at the time). I felt so sorry for the bride and groom having to sustain expressions of delight as they opened some truly awful tat in front of 100+ people. They performed much better than I could have done.

I am going over there later this summer for another wedding, and the various events will go on for days. In part this is because there will be so many family members from across the world, and the whole event doubles up as a reunion for people that don't often get to all be in the same place at the same time. I'm really looking forward to it.

You can't just refuse to go to a wedding just because you think their wedding format is overly long and extravagant. The whole 3 day event thing is an american import anyway.

If you've people traveling from a long way off, and staying the night of the wedding, then why not have the option of making a weekend of it - assuming it's a relaxed and casual day afterwards that they don't need numbers for, what's the big deal?
You're just offering a bit of post-match entertainment/sociability for those who want it, in a more relaxed setting than the wedding - I think it's a nice idea.

I'm planning a family meal the night before my wedding, with me and DP's immediate family and then breakfast the morning after for the people staying at the wedding venue (although breakfast is included so I'm not planning it especially).

I hope they're not all bitching about me behind my back

I think it is nice to drag them out, especially if many of the guests have travelled a long way and rarely get to see one another.

A Showing of the Presents is really typical in Scotland. It takes the place of a hen night , about a week before the wedding.

Yanbu

The worst thing about the present opening was that I had asked the people coming from Britain not to bring gifts. If they absolutely had to bring something, I asked for brown sauce, proper tea bags and other British necessities. Really fun to open teabags in front of guests. Luckily, they knew I was deadly serious about no 'big' presents so they weren't embarrassed.

Meh. I had a traditional Indian wedding and it was a week long celebration. I loved it, had loads of family over from all over the world and all the events leading up to the wedding were probably more memorable than the day itself! Ahh happy memories...

Someone I know is having a wedding abroad, then another wedding over here later on. A month later.

YANBU

Weddings seem to be dragged out so much these days, and it makes it more expensive for guests to attend. Do brides and grooms expect gifts at the lunch the next day too?

Someone I know had a bridal shower (organised by her husband and she got lots of pampering presents), then a pricey hen weekend in Ibiza, then a hen night/meal/clubbing night once back in the UK, then pre-wedding drinks the night before, then the wedding and finally a champagne lunch the day after. We were invited to the evening do on the wedding day, which we did go to, but I politely declined the bridal shower and Ibiza hen weekend invites.

Ynbu I am totally with you on this. I have been to a lot of these weekend long weddings. some of the post-wedding activities are better than others but none are as good as monging out in my own flat in front of the tv. I often wonder if others feel the same as me but everyone pretends that their into it.

I don't really enjoy next day events, if the wedding is an all day and evening affair, I've already dressed up, chatted to the few people I know (bride and groom always pretty busy and you don't get to spend quality time with them) and just want to relax the next day. I hate weddings that start at 11am and go on for 12 hours as well.

I think the day after thing is great - especially if people have travelled far. People are often kicking about the day after waiting for a flight/train/sober enough to drive and get kicked out the hotel early. If you live local say you have plans if you dont want to go.
Its not compulsory, just a nice get together, if people dont see each other often. If you dont like it dont go, no biggie, hardly worth getting your knicker twisted over.

Knickers not knicker

YABU. I think its a normal thing because many of the weddings I have attended required traveling for most of the guests. It was a nice courtesy of the bride and groom to provide lunch for the remaining guests.

When we've done this it has been an informal 'do'.

It's allowed us to catch up properly with the B&G and their parents, who we are usually good friends with. On the day we haven't always been able to because naturally they have guests to welcome and extended family to chat to.

Unlike many on MN, though, i like everyone that i mix with, wish them well and like to spend time in their company.

I hate the compulsory morning after breakfast thing (surely room service is preferable). Everyone is hung over and grumpy and tired and at the last one the (otherwise very likeable) bride wafting about in her tiara and singing wedding songs and hinting about naughty wedding night got on my nerves at 9am over bacon and eggs.

See, I don't mind the breakfast the morning after as if you are all staying in the same hotel, it makes sense. But a 'new event' in a new venue just seems over the top (requiring your to RSVP to along with the invitation) and completely different to the bride and groom casually mentioning a get together with friends for lunch, rather than inviting EVERYONE from the wedding. Don't get me started on the abroad weddings with basically a reception some time after they come home. Why bother going abroad?!

We've always outstayed our welcome gone round to the parents of the bride or groom the next day in our family. Usually an amazing afternoon / lunch - the pressure is off, everyone is still drunk or hugely hungover relaxed and we laugh like loons at me the more drunken idiots of the night before.

Not an obligation - more a chance to say thank you / help with the washing up / enjoy the family atmosphere and did I mention the laughing at me

YANBU and personally I think most weddings are too long anyway! What's wrong with an afternoon ceremony followed by food, drinking and dancing?

Why the lunch and nibbles and all that boring stuff?

Birdsgottafly, I like my friends too, which is why I don't really want to hang out with their relatives flown in from wherever, who I am never likely to see again. I just don't love weddings as my way of socialising with those friends, I go because I want to see the ceremony, and want to wish them the best. I find that takes a few hours at most, and I'm with whoever said why not have an afternoon wedding plus evening do. Just the right amount of time IMO.

many of our guests travelled 450miles to our wedding (we're scottish but have lots of friends and family in london) so we welcomed people all weekend and arranged it somewhere with cheap accomodation all weekend.
i tried really hard to speak to everyone on the saturday night but i'd have been gutted if people had travelled all that way and i hadn't had time for more than a smile and a 'thank you for coming' with each of them. anybody who was bored by our company didn't have to come and i'd assume that anybody who didn't actually want to see us wouldn't have travelled anyway.

The best weddings that i have been to have been afternoon weddings with an evening do.

Then the next day, a catch up at the parents house for an informal party consisting of people who want to be there, some with children who can leave earlier and no airs and graces having to be put on.

As Fancy describes. No RSPV's needed because there is a usual crowd who turn up, with extra people.