to ask you about where you eat

[watermargin]

I am really sorry, I know I am being ridiculous.

I own a very small property. It's in a nice area and it is quiet, clean and pretty but it's tiny. Downstairs is a teeny kitchen, with just enough space for an oven and washing machine - no space for a table at all. The lounge is really small as well. I have a sofa, bookcase, TV unit (and TV!) and little coffee table. The stairs are in the lounge and then upstairs there is a small bathroom (just a shower and sink and toilet - no bath) and two bedrooms. One is mine and the other is for the baby (well she isn't born yet but it will be.)

I really, really want to be the best mum I can be and I've just read another thread on here and cried my eyes out as there isn't space for a table to eat at so I always have to eat my meals in the lounge. Ideally I'll have enough money to move to a bigger property once my daughter is school age but not before then, and this hadn't bothered me because there are two bedrooms and I thought we could manage. But, is it really terrible to not eat at a table? I obviously plan to go to cafes and restaurants with DD and show her how to eat nicely but I just can't get a table for us to eat at just now :( Is this really awful, or is it OK in the circumstances I have described?

When my son was little (from when he was weaning till when he was about 2)it was just me and him and we lived in a one bedroom flat. We had a drop leaf table and folding chairs in the living room. I made the effort to eat at the table(initially with him in his high chair), even though it was just the two of us. It is important, i think, and if you think it is important you will find a way to manage it.

When he was really little I ate off my lap on the sofa while bouncing him with my foot in his bouncy chair having breastfed him into submission just prior to my meal. It was the only way to even get a chance to eat my own food! You become very resourceful managing a baby on your own- you have to!

Now it's me, him and my dh and we have a bigger flat and we eat an evening meal together at the table in the kitchen. We talk about our day and generally socialise as a family. It's nice.

I think it's sad that so many people don't sit down to a meal together.

I agree with everyone. Can I also just say that I think your plan to go to cafes and restaurants with her is a very good one. I have been eating out with dd since she was born and I think it is one of the best things that we do for sociability, eating skills, quality time etc. She learnt to use a sippy cup in cafes while I had a coffee, and still asks for water as her drink of choice. The first time a cafe put me on one side of the table and her on the other where I couldn't reach her, I quailed, but it's almost inevitably been good fun.

Forgot to say - the stand folds and the bath and stand then hang on a hook on the bathroom door. Not exactly Hello magazine standards but it works for us.

Don't worry about the bath either: you can get a small plastic bath while she is little or even bath her in the sink.

I think what got posters' goat on the other thread was that the OP spoke of fairly ordinary things like eating at a table as if it was some kind of freaky thing to do and generally seemed quite uncomfortable about the concept of society manners. And just the general vibes of unhappiness and disrespect coming both from her and indirectly from her dp. Nothing to do with actual chairs or tables; you could have the same level of disrespect in the great hall of a stately home and it would still be bad manners.

I have just remembered that we didn't have a high chair as such - it was one that when taken apart was a little chair and table. Lasted for ages and meant ds could do play dough, colouring eating etc and didn't take up much room at all. I got it from Mothercare but that was 11 years ago.

far more important than eating at the table is to teach your DCs not to be such wankers as the posters on the other thread-full of MC angst with great big judgemental poles up their arses

it MAKES you want to flick mash ffs

Dont let them make you cry

YY to eating out - very good to start early.

www.bambinodirect.co.uk/OBABY_Cube_Wooden_Highchair_-_Natural_60OB0501/version.asp?refsource=BAfroogle&gclid=CIKlz8qdvLACFVMetAod2RUHpQ

One like ds's high chair

Gawd, ignore the table-eaters

As a child, we only ate at the table at Christmas; the highlight of the week was a Chinese take away eaten on the floor in front of The Antiques Roadshow on a Sunday. I had a happy childhood

You can take out the safety bit when they are older so it's like a normal chair.

I've read the thread you're speaking of OP. I don't think the issue is so much about eating at a table as it is about having table manners. You can eat anywhere, just don't be flicking food about, scratching your arse and then dunking your fingers into the mezza kind of thing.

You can eat with prince or pauper, it doesn't matter. Just have manners.

I used one of these ^ for my DS too, he still uses it now as a table and chair and he is 4! £20 from Ebay 4 years ago, well worth the money!

Where is this thread please?

doing we have only just got rid of the table - it has been used as a bedside table for ds

I did laugh at the idea of someone scratching their arse at the table! It's strange, as my brother has terrible table manners - he eats really noisily and gobbles his food and slurps cups of tea/coffee - ugh. Thankfully, I don't see much of him.

I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to suggest that anybody personally had upset me, I am/was being stupid. I'd be horrified if DD, or any child for that matter, flicked food at someone. I think I've just had so MANY snide digs and mean remarks (you know the sort, disguised as a 'joke') which when you boil them down all basically say how stupid I am for even considering having a child in a house that the person concerned (my dad) sees as unsuitable.

I don't know why either, because maybe I'm blind or stupid but I can't see how it's that terrible - even if I never got to move, it's clean, warm, DD would have her own bedroom ... People are so strange!

Psssttt, we have a beautiful, 6 foot long, solid oak, handmade by local carpenter table.

It's rarely used, even Christmas is hit and miss.

Oh I had visions when I got that table, us all sat round it having meaningful conversation at each and every mealtimes.

Reality is only I use it, it's a waste of space

We have the same toastie - huge table that ends up being used at Xmas, huge coffee table in the front room and we all end up eating on our laps or at the tiny table in the kitchen! When we lived in the flat it was my dream to have tables everywhere

The thread is To think DP caused this argument and he's a knob on AIBU

Thanks, will have a snigger laugh

OP my MIL had 9 children and raised them in a home with no electricity or running water, and no sodding table

they are all polite with good manners

Oh don't stress yourself op. if you haven't got room for a table then you haven't got room. You can still get your kids to sit nicely at the table whenever you eat out. Or just get a kids table. I had a kids table for years, just got a grown up table about 6 months ago. We do use it now, and I love it, but it's still possible to manage just fine without.

If you ask me, the mere fact you're so worried about table manners means your DD will be just fine, with or without a table. You sound like you're going to be a fab mum!

DOnt stress love we live in a tiny flat no room for a table and we manage fine when dds were small they had little plastic tables in the living room they sat at, we sit in the living room to eat and usually all eat together depending on shifts but we manage to chat and stuff while eating,
Mine are older now but when they were younger id put the tv off as they would be distracted, really dont fret about it, you can also get tv tables where you and your DD could sit side by side in the living room , Oh and we have table manners even if we dont sit at a table

not much to add that has not been added, however, my DD, now aged almost 6 loved showers when she was a toddler. Still does. So you may find your own little one will too.

apocalypse as a sop to middle class lifestyles my mum used to make my dad heft the heavy oak table they got as a wedding present down from the loft at Christmas.

There was no room for it anywhere else the rest of the year.

It almost killed him every time and he always scraped the wallpaper resulting in a screaming row that ruined Top of the Pops.