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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my mum is perfectly capable of driving DS to school in our car?

54 replies

Inedit · 06/06/2012 21:40

We are going to a wedding in Sept, mum is looking after DS, which she has done a few times for a weekend.
She will have to pick him up from school on Friday and drop him off on Monday

DH doesn't want her driving our car
Fair enough its a big 2.7L engine, but mum has driven lots of station wagons/estates over the years
She has never had an accident. She's a very young 65. Extremely capable

Dh wants her to go in a cab.
It's a couple of miles away.
She doesn't know the drive yet, but will obviously make sure she's fine with it.

Is he being a bit precious?

OP posts:
Original poster
Inedit · 06/06/2012 22:01

Actually just remembered he didn't have any problem with my dad driving it when DS was a baby

OP posts:
Ephiny · 06/06/2012 22:02

Are you allowed to drive this neast of a car, OP? Or is it too big and manly for any womenfolk to handle? What kind of car is it, out of interest?

Assuming your mum is a competent driver, it sounds a bit odd and unreasonable. Is she happy and confident to drive it?

Ephiny · 06/06/2012 22:03

Oh wait, it's your car?

Your decision then, surely?

ComposHat · 06/06/2012 22:03

Does she have a history of pranging cars or rrratic driving?

Is it a company car and it would take a great deal of explaining if there is a dent in it?

Is it going to be expensive to put her on the insurance?

If none of these are the case, then HIBU.

crazy88 · 06/06/2012 22:04

YANBU. My first thought was also the issue of lack of car seat in taxi. Your ds would surely be safer in car seat in your car? Can't you point this out to him?

ComposHat · 06/06/2012 22:04

It's actually technically my car

He doesn't drive it

Well in that case tell him to go fuck himself then.

wigglesrock · 06/06/2012 22:07

It's your car Shock

Ormiriathomimus · 06/06/2012 22:09

Bugger me! He doesn't trust her with his car, yet he's happy to trust her with his son? Confused

Original poster
Inedit · 06/06/2012 22:10

I haven't checked out the price to insure her yet
But she might even be insured on her own insurance

No accidents that i can remember and has been driving for 40years

It's only really my car because it's in my name. He can't drive it because he hasn't changed his licence to a UK one(long story)

It's s bit if a non issue, but I had to check, thought I was going mad

OP posts:
AnyoneforTurps · 06/06/2012 22:11

Another option is to hire a car for your mother's use but frankly I think you should tell him to sort his priorities out.

PurplePidjin · 06/06/2012 22:17

Wtf!! According to your dh I'm capable of driving neither of the vehicles i own. Does he realise how sexist and patronising he's sounding?

Fwiw i, a measly female, am quite capable of driving both a rhd vw t25 campervan and an lhd aircooled beetle (no power steering) without mishap, as well as various minibuses and people carriers for work over the years Angry

ILoveGregoryHouse · 06/06/2012 22:20

FFS. Tell him to get a grip. If it was your son driving, I'd understand.

littleweed10 · 06/06/2012 22:26

Very precious yes. He deserves to baby sit and you go to wedding with a guest of your choice. Ungrateful git!

Mrsjay · 06/06/2012 22:32

It is your car i would tell him to beat it and let your mum drive it . if she isnt insured you can get weekend insurance, your son needs to be in his car seat ,

fairyfriend · 06/06/2012 22:39

Oh wow, I don't like the sound of him!!
I think as it is your car, then the discussion is purely between you and your mother. He doesn't get a say.
I'm sorry, but this looks like a small part of a bigger picture. Is he a controlling fuckwit in other ways?

coppertop · 06/06/2012 22:44

If your dh is so worried about the precious car, he should stay home and look after it and his child.

Original poster
Inedit · 06/06/2012 22:59

Fairyfriend, there is a lot of other stuff he is a wanker about.
But just concentrating on this issue right now!!

OP posts:
littleweed10 · 06/06/2012 23:08

'My car
My decision
I'll put her on my insurance
It is the least we are do as she is doing us a massive favour
What's your problem with that, my love, my life you tosser'

ChaoticismyLife · 06/06/2012 23:32

You need to remind your H that your mum is doing you both a big favour. He sounds a patronising, sexist wanker.

TheCraicDealer · 06/06/2012 23:34

Haha, Wiggles- "Catch yourself on", reminded me you're from NI! Anyway, tell him your car, your mum, your rules. If she's travelling five hours down to you then looking after your DS for three days then I think the least he could do is give her the luxury of her own wheels for the weekend. It'd be a bit crap to be effectively stranded in someone else's home like that. YANBU!!!

sashh · 07/06/2012 04:02

I'd be tempted to scrape it with a key - then there is no reason she can't drive it.

Iteotwawki · 07/06/2012 04:10

It's a car. A thing. An object. It gets bumped, scraped, knocked - insurance (probably with excess but there you go) would cover repairs to it.

Your son is not a thing, or an object - I am amazed he's more worried about a theoretical knock on the car than your son rattling around the back of a taxi.

That said, the person who you really need to ask is your mum. Is she comfortable driving your scary monster of a car? Is she confident to park it? If not then maybe alternatives need to be looked at, but if she looks at you as if you've grown a second head and says "yes of course I can drive it, why wouldn't I be able to?" then there's your answer.

(not even going near the whole "Why is your husband laying the law down over a car that isn't even his"... side of it. My husband would be retrieving his balls from the bonnet lid if he tried dictating who could and couldn't drive mine)

PorridgeBrain · 07/06/2012 05:16

'She does have a car, but would have to drive 5 hours to get here'

Presume that means that she is getting the train as it would take her 5 hours to drive so won't have her car with her?

YANBU btw - she is doing you a huge favour, asking her to get a taxi is sending a message that you trust her with your son but not your car!

Proudnscary · 07/06/2012 05:32

God I love Mumsnet - some of these replies have made me wet myself laughing!

Does he have any grounds for thinking like this or is he just a bellend?

Dear god she doesn't have to pick the car up and carry it. What does the size have to do with it?

Ba ha ha ha ha!

Proudnscary · 07/06/2012 05:33

Oops just woke dh up by sniggering and shaking the bed