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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have a nice bitch about my ILs

36 replies

lurkedtoolong · 06/06/2012 20:21

I know that in the grand scheme of things I have perfectly decent in-laws. They aren't mean, they don't over-interfere and they don't treat me badly. But currently on holiday with them and after a few days I just need to vent......

The words are ASK not AST, and BINOCULARS not BINOKLEURS.

Stop asking me what random buildings are on the other side of the motorway. We're in a country I've never been in before, why the fuck would I know what some random office block is.

Just stop fucking cackling - my head can't deal with it.

And for fuck sake learn how far a kilometre is - when we tell you next turn off is in 6 kilometres then don't slam on brakes and ask "Is that this one?"

.... and breathe....

OP posts:

ladymariner · 07/06/2012 09:21

Making someone cry is, IMO, serious.....

FallenCaryatid · 07/06/2012 09:21

Could be that the Ils are realising that she's a snappy cow though, and will happily never repeat the experience again. What made them all think that this was a good idea?

NicNocJnr · 07/06/2012 09:56

Ladymariner - but who would cry at someone pointing out they have bought a really nice bottle of wine, that they like to drink/may have been looking forward to enjoying, and proposing a perfectly acceptable alternative of 'if you want to dilute it/make sangria why don't we just get a cheaper bottle that you will enjoy just as much' crying over that is serious, a serious over reaction and precious. From an adult. Please.
So why does OP have to grin and bear everything? Change being herself in order to 'get along' and not spoil the holiday, why isn't some of the onus falling on the ILs? Everyone puts a bit of a lid on it so everyone can enjoy the holiday. Everyone has to rub along together. Not op swallow every single irritation and bend over backwards to accomodate. How is that fair?! They're all in it together however they got there and the in laws are adults too...or not if someone is now crying over something as stupid as that.
OP was just venting here to get it out of her system but they sound tiresome and grating.
It's not actually projection from me really as I dislike my ils for vastly different reasons that mean we wouldn't be on holiday together in the first place. Because they are nasty, alcoholic and abusive. However I can quite see that if your parents were like this and you were grining and bearing it that would be 10x harder for someone that doesn't have the 'parental love' buffer.

Bobyan · 07/06/2012 10:04

nic is right the OP is just venting and £20 on a bottle of wine to mix with lemonade is a crime. The OP is the one who should be crying!!!

WinkyWinkola · 07/06/2012 10:07

Nope. We all have to swallow whatever it is the in laws want to say or do. Otherwise we are nasty dils. As usual.

FallenCaryatid · 07/06/2012 10:18

So why can't they just split the wine and the IL can drink it how they choose?
I doubt the tears are over the wine alone, sounds as if the tension level has been very high since they started this doomed holiday. PIL are probably wishing they were elsewhere, as is OP.

FallenCaryatid · 07/06/2012 10:22

Can you just agree not to see each other again except for the occasional hour or two at Christmas and anniversaries? How is your OH dealing with all the nonsense?

ladymariner · 07/06/2012 13:33

nic I totally agree that crying over a bottle of wine is ridiculous, and an over reaction, but tbh I don't think it is just over the wine, sounds to me that the wine is the straw that broke that particular camel's back.... perhaps a clearing the air session from both sides is in order?
But as I said earlier, why would you choose to go on holiday with someone who irritates the hell out of you?
winky take it you don't get on with your in-laws then???

Original poster

lurkedtoolong · 07/06/2012 14:55

We have paid for ILs to come on holiday as a joint birthday present. But actually that isn't the point - there's nothing terribly serious just spending lots of time together causes tensions as we are very different people. Just wanted to vent.

MIL is generally nice enough but will cry at anything. Someone meaner than me might suggest she's an attention seeker as tears go on and off at will. I don't think there's been an extended period I've spent with her where she hasn't cried about something. This time it was me, another time it was a sad song on radio, another she burst into tears because it was her birthday.

DH reacted by telling everyone to grow the fuck up - me to stop being snippy, MIL to stop crying and FIL to stop being so huffy. It was the right response.

Great idea RobotLover - am doing that from now on.

OP posts:

ethelb · 07/06/2012 16:21

Good to see it is sorted. However I totally understand how little things can build up. Plus the threat of your ILs over reacting if you pipe up is pure torture.

However, you should never have turned up with an expensive bottle of wine and attempted to serve it to people who don't enjoy grown up drinks if you were going to get sniffy about it. I'm still seething over the god awful show off fuss my FIL made when I requested a 'splash' of a £14 bottle for the gravy. Sets my bleedy teeth on edge.

Original poster

lurkedtoolong · 07/06/2012 17:23

Ethel, probably right. I think what was so annoying was we had offered to buy a cheaper bottle for mixing and were told there was no need as there was enough already.

Funnily enough I wouldn't worry about a splash in gravy - would make the gravy taste so much nicer. I know that's mixed messages but I reserve the right to be inconsistent...

OP posts:

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