Please tell me. Am I being PFB or is this just common sense?

[sawseesaw]

We're going to Thailand on holiday: me, DH and our 15mo dd. I want to stay on mainland in the south where there are plenty of nice beaches, but where we don't need to travel in a long tailed boat with dd and where it's not too far to a hospital - just in case. DH wants to go much further to some little islands and says he thinks I'm being ridiculously pfb and that I'll turn dd into a neurotic scared child.

Please can I have some MN perspective(s) on this?

Cockwomble lets have a mums net outing lol

Ok, the hospital isn't my top concern. Main thing is the boat. I'm not that great at swimming and though I have been in many different boats, have thought that in an emergency I'd be a bit stuck. The thought of carrying my very little dd on a boat not much bigger than a log across open water for over an hour really scares me.

I would be wary of doing this. Having experienced an emergency while on one of these islands in my twenties, I would say it could be difficult if your DC did need some kind of serious medical treament.

I apprecite this is very unlikely to happen, but I wouldn't want to risk it. Having said that, I would love not to be PFB (if that's what taking this line is), but I think that's just the way I am now.

Thanks birdsnotbees good to have an insider's perspective.

Where would he like to go? Could you compromise and go somewhere with better access?
I think Ko Chang beautiful and less touristy than some islands, and it has a good hospital and a car ferry! You can drive/fly easily from bangkok.
We have family in thailand and have always found healthcare to be excellent -chemists are well stocked and you can get far more over the counter than at home.
From my experience, thai people adore children and your dd will be made a huge fuss of!

We took 11mo dd to Thailand and stayed at ao nang. It was fab and v family friendly.

Why don't you try a pretty developed island, with hospitals and an airport? Koh Samui is a short flight from Bangkok, beautiful and has a hospital (though I didn't have to try it out). We went last year when DS was 6months or so. It was great, there seemed to be lots of expats so sure healthcare must be reasonably ok. And your DH could always do some day trips if he's desperate for boats.

A long-haul flight with a 15m old is no picnic, adding significant trekking time on top of that would not be my choice. Depends somewhat on the beaches and creature-comforts available on the littler islands but your DH's 'reasoning' is rather emotional and weak ("ridiculously pfb" "neurotic scared child" ) and hope he is capable of putting together a more rational and persuasive argument than that.

I would be a little wary with DD (18 month). I got very sick in Thailand (dengue fever) and was glad to be near a hospital. On the one hand, the medical care was second to none and I was treated wonderfully. On the other side, I was really sick and could have died.

Have you checked about jabs, mosquito repellent, malaria (areas and drugs), insurance (for transport to hospital/repatriation) and all those things? If I knew my insurance covered me for helicopter to a major hospital in case of illness, I wouldn't worry too much.

My (normally healthy) eldest got sick on holiday last year. Small children are very good at picking up illnesses, and it can happen very quickly. She was put onto very powerful broad spectrum antibiotics and recovered very well in the end, but it was scary, and it has coloured my opinion about small children, holidays and medical treatment.

BTW; your DD will be "neurotic" because she didn't go to small isolated islands in Thailand when she was a toddler? WTF?

TBH a few years ago I would have said YABU, now though I am starting to lose my bottle with age and can appreciate your thinking. The old me would think your DH definitely had a valid point, now I think perhaps not, based on one trip but if that were to be your overall attitude then possibly.

I think you got some good advice up-thread about some of the more developed islands. Maybe save the wandering off the beaten track for when she is older or do your wandering in Europe or somewhere a little more "tame"

I'm going to show dh this thread as he recently told me ds2 would be far too young (at one year old) to go on holiday to France next summer!

If your child has no health issues, and you are meticulous about jabs, eating and drinking safely etc then tbh I think with a child this age you would be fine. She's not a newborn. I haven't been to Thailand but have friends who have done the sort of trip your dh describes, with children of. Varying ages, baby upwards. They have generally said this age is ideal, and trips become logistically more tricky as the kids get older (and as you may have more kids by then).

So I would say go for it, and I am normally quite a cautious person. I also think that in terms of overall holiday experience, the more remote parts will be way better than main beaches

You're being much less pfb than I clearly am/was/will be. My DD is nearly five and I'd still think twice about taking her to Thailand. We're sticking to Europe/US until she's quite a bit older. I am full-on pfb though.

at 15 months your kid won't have a clue where they are, or have a notion of your desire to be near anything, so quite how he thinks it will have the slightest affect on her is beyond me.

There are proper doctors and hospitals all over Thailand, its not some kind of backwater.

At 15m, I'd say YANBU (I'm a GP and have spent lots of time in Asia). Hospitals in Thailand are excellent but you are right to be concerned about accessibility - babies can get sick fast. And YANBU to be cautious about boats - health & safety standards are nothing like Europe and boats do overturn regularly. I'm not sure why you'd take the risk when there are many lovely off-the-beaten track places on the mainland and the large islands.

Does your DH drive your DD around with no car seat? I'm guessing not but what he is proposing is zillions of times more risky.

YANBU. Your DH should respect how you feel and tailor your itinerary accordingly.

When you have young children you have to compromise on some things and travel is one of them.

i live in se asia and travel to thailand frequently. i am also on the un-pfb end of the spectrum when it comes to risk.

but i've done a lot of those phukhet-to-island boat trips and sometimes you can be delayed and weather or boat breaks down.

otherwise i'd go for it. medical care is very good.