Do you think im being unfair?

[Expectantmum2b]

Im pregnant with my first child (husbands 3rd child), i ve chosen a first name i really like and have decided my daughters middle name will be my mums middle name (after my mum and also because it goes well with the first name we have chosen).

Last night my brother in law was here and was confirming what we were calling our daughter, i told him what it was gong to be, he then replied "oh so it will be first name, middle name and then my mums name (as in his mother and my husbands mother). I then explained that it will just be the first name, then her middle name (which is my mothers middle name) and then her surname, and no other names.

He was abit shocked by this, maybe because he felt it wasnt fair just to put my mothers name in my daughters name. I now feel that maybe we should put the mother in laws name as a extra middle name (although im not sure i want my daughter to have a mouthful of a name).

I spoke to my husband about this and he said his mothers name isnt really nice, so he hadnt thought of putting it in.

Do you think im being unfair putting my mothers name in my daughters name but not the mother in laws name?

You have to be so diplomatic these days don't you? Personally I don't think it's unfair, but there's definitely the potential for hurt feelings and family fall outs when you start using family members names. Is your MIL likely to be upset by it?

They did have the same surname at one point but the parents decided to change their surname to a surname way back in the family (great grandmothers maiden name)

So your ILS have themselves chosen a name they liked over the one they were born with, even though it then caused problems for your DH who then had the same name twice. Did they consult with the wider family before disgarding the family surname? Were people offended by their decision? I can't see that they would be in a position to criticise you for naming your child as you please when they did a similar thing. YANBU.

DS1 has the same name as my Grandfather. DS2 has the same name as DH's Grandfather. DS3 has a name that we chose because we liked it (And had run out of Gfathers ) YANBU - choose the names that you and your DH want and tell BIL to butt out.

DD1 has my MILS name as her middle name. DD2 has my mums. Not sure what I would have done if I had a DD3!

I was only supposed to haveone baby so i gave DD1 both grandmothers names as her middles names, By god its long and didnt even fit on her report cards and letters . I do think you you should stick to your guns and name your DD what you have chosen, thats the thing with telling people names there is always somebody who objects or sticks their beak in,

DD2 has a familiy middle name she did feel a but miffed when she understood that her sister has both Grans names which made me a bit

Thanks for all ur replies. You are very right stanley I think some of the family were offended/upset when they changed their surname.

I think im going to stick to what i originally wanted.