to tell exp to shove fiver somewhere rude?

[tittytittyhanghang]

Ds is 12. Ex left whilst pregnant. Never wanted to anything to do with ds, to the point of moving abroad when ds was a baby to avoid paying maintenance. Never had any direct contact with ds and never paid so much as a penny in just under 12 years. Ds knows who he is and in his own words thinks that ex is an "arsehole". Im not prone to disagree. Ex is not a bad person, just a irresponsible feckless wonder. Obviously has changed tune in recent years as he has expressed a half hearted interest in having something to do with ds, but since ds doesn't want anything to do with him, im not going to force it. Anyway had contact from a relative stranger/third party to say that ex had given them a fiver to pass on to ds. Didn't take it. AIBU to tell ex next time i see him to shove fiver where sun dont shine?

Why cant he just send it to ds?

Because he has no contact with ds. Nada. Nil.

YANBU.

Being a father is not something you can wake up one morning and say "Hey, I think I'll give that a wee go now!"

Your son has made his choice and exp is just going to live with it.

A fiver, Really? Ergh...

YANBU

Allyours, my thoughts exactly. I did try and warn ex many years ago that ds would not be a baby forever, and he might regret not being a father in many years to come (now).

How pathetic. £5? Really?
YANBU to tell him to shove it right up his backside! You don't just decide after 12 years you want to be a father, it doesn't work like that. What a colossal twat!

What weekly sum could you have reasonably expected to have received in maintenance had the sperm donor not taken himself out of the UK?

Even the modest rate of £20 per week would have accrued arrears of some £12,000 and, on that basis, I suggest you prepare a bill as follows:

Maintenance from dob of ds to today's date £12,000.00*
Received on account £5.00
Balance outstanding £11,995.00

and hand it to your ex when you next see him together with a request that he henceforth pays the sum of £83* per month into x bank account (state number and name of account).

*Figures for demonstration purposes only - feel free to adjust them upwards and add on a hefty sum for incidental costs and expenses