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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To long for a purpose in life - something I can do each day and feel passionate about.

26 replies

norbettsauntie · 04/06/2012 13:19

At the age of 56 I think its time to actually feel passionate about what I do each day, rather than just working for money.

I've got qualifications and experience in teaching adults but I've done my bit and now want something else to float my boat. I have a nice DH and grown up DCs but want a project to feel passionate about, that would also bring in an income (doesn't need to be lots).

How do I find out what I want to do? Surely I should be able to work this out for myself Confused

Guide me dearest Mumsnetters

OP posts:
DukeHumfrey · 04/06/2012 13:28

You sound like my mum! Always looking for something to be keen on.

She currently has a project of doing up the house, does volunteer dog-walking and spends time visiting children & grandchildren.

HecateTrivia · 04/06/2012 13:29

What sort of issues do you feel strongly about? Any group of people you particularly care about the welfare of? Or animals?

madmouse · 04/06/2012 13:29

Have some sessions with a life or career coach. Doesn't have to cost the earth and can be really useful. I can recommend a good friend if you need a name - pm me.

SmellyFartado · 04/06/2012 13:30

Are there any classes/courses - evening or otherwise - that you have always wanted to do. Perhaps starting there could be the springboard to a new career path/further income? Your local Council will have a list of adult courses and the dates that these start - mostly following the school term time but there are exceptions.

Alternatively, do you have any hobbies that you are really good at that you could start up your own classes and charge fees for attendance?

SleepingDogz · 04/06/2012 13:31

volunteer to help in the third world? i wouldnt mind doing it but cant afford to give up work :(

Lovetats · 04/06/2012 13:31

I feel exactly the same :(

madmouse · 04/06/2012 13:36

Oh actually here is her website.

McHappyPants2012 · 04/06/2012 13:46

you have approx 10 yers of working life, you may aswell enjoy them :)

lovebunny · 04/06/2012 13:48

crafting? and you can work for much more than ten years...
property development?

Latara · 04/06/2012 15:00

YANBU, you have a lot of your working life left; even when you retire you may need to earn extra money or wish to do voluntary work.
So do something you enjoy (as long as it pays the bills!) - whether that's sitting on a Tesco checkout; or working as a teacher; or making jewellery.

norbettsauntie · 04/06/2012 16:13

Thanks for your comments and suggestions. Anyone else got any thoughts to inspire me? Smile

OP posts:
chibi · 04/06/2012 16:20

do something difficult, but achievable, where you can see the effects of your work

for me this is: being a teacher, writing, learning a new academic discipline, learning to be a runner and make my body stronger/go further, faster, learning to speak another language

it doesn't have to be something that changes the whole world, you are part of that world; a positive change in you will ripple out

JamieandTheOlympicTorch · 04/06/2012 16:38

Do some voluntary work to find out. Have a look at this website: do-it.org.uk

entropygirl · 04/06/2012 16:40

would anyone like to go into business with me?

I have a great idea...

Noqontrol · 04/06/2012 16:44

Upholstery course.
Learn about antiques and buy and sell on a small scale.
Write a book
Learn a new language
Run a marathon
Volunteer / fundraise for charity
Learn a musical instrument.
Interior design
Flower arranging.
Learn how to bake really nice cakes for weddings and parties and sell them.
Ball room dancing. Or any other type of dancing.
Painting
Do a course in jewellery making.
Pottery.
Can't think of anything else.

Spiritedwolf · 04/06/2012 18:04

YADefinatelyNBU - of course you should find something you enjoy. I think that either having a session with a life coach or reading self-help books on DIY life coaching would be a good starting off point.

I enjoyed reading 'The Element' by Sir Ken Robinson (he's done a number of excellent videos online about education) - he doesn't really tell you how to find your element, but rather tells you about how other people found theirs. His main interest is in reforming education to help students find their element.

Have you seen the TV programme on recently about hidden talents? I only saw a couple but they were rather clever.

Back to some tips on finding what your element is, you don't have to answer them here. Don't censor your ideas in the first instance on the basis that you aren't sure how you could make a career out of them. Just write everything down and you can look over it and pan for gold later.

What do you enjoy in your life at the moment? It could be a hobby, an aspect of your work, something about your home or family life.

What have you enjoyed in the past? Have you given something up in the past because you were busy? Maybe something you enjoyed as a child/teen? What did you want to be when you grew up? Some things might be difficult to retrain in, but there might still be a way to be involved in that area of work in a more tangental way.

Imagine you are happy in 5/10/15 years time. What is still part of your life, what's changed?

Who do you admire (someone you know or someone you've heard of)? Why? What is it about what they do that's important? If they are famous, is there a biography you could read about them to explore what it is you find admirable about them.

What issues are you passionate about? Is there something you could do to raise those issues? Fundraising or volunteering for a charity, raising awareness through writing, art or political lobbying.

What kind of books/magazines do you enjoy? Is there an interest there that you could develop?

Flick through a your local college's prospectus for evening classes, part time and fulltime courses. Is there anything that catches your interest? If there's nothing locally, have a look at the OU for distance learning courses.

Likewise, keep an eye on the job pages of newspapers and make a note of any that sound interesting. You might not have the qualifications/experience they are looking for (yet) but you could get an idea of what motivates you and what employers are looking for.

These questions are just to generate ideas. Try to keep an open mind and not dismiss anything. Some people find fulfillment through their job, others in hobbies, volunteer work, family, further education etc. Sometimes people find ways of making a hobby into a small business or inspiration for a career.

You can also drill down deeper into these things and think about what you like about them. If they give you a chance to be creative, or demonstrate a skill, or communicate with people who make you feel good, maybe there is something you haven't thought of yet that would allow you to do more of these aspects you enjoy.

I don't know much about your job at the moment, but teaching is a skill that can be transferred from whatever you currently teach, to teaching about something else you are knowledgeable about - maybe by running a class or writing a book. You could look at a less dramatic change by side-stepping into a related job that has more of the stuff you enjoy in it.

My mum has taken up flower arranging and cake making as hobbies and she enjoys doing flowers and cakes for family, friends and collegues. At the moment it isn't a business, but she could take it that way if she wanted to. I think it's great that she's found a creative outlet as her job is rather stressful. I think she started off taking a few classes of these things and some others (art etc) and has kept up what she enjoyed most.

My dad is taking early retirement soon and although he didn't have many interests a while ago, he has become really into family history and has enjoyed chasing up distant relatives for information and researching in libraries and record offices as well as online. He's also looking at starting a small catering business when he retires and so has been doing a business course and researching that.

I must admit, my problem is that I have so many interests, that I don't know what I should pursue in a more serious way as a potential career, and what is just a hobby.

Best of luck in finding your passion. You aren't being at all unreasonable.

CaliforniaLeaving · 05/06/2012 00:02

I'm heading in the opposite direction op.
I'm just turned 50 and after 30 years as a nurse we are moving back to UK and I aim to stack shelves in Tesco for a living or some other place. I've had it with the career thing. I want to go in to work, put in my hours and sod off home to be with my family, and take my holidays, go to flippin Blackpool and each Fish n Chips.
Life with a career has been fun at times but I'm putting in my hours till retirement.

Greatauntirene · 05/06/2012 08:32

Will bump this as I am same position and trying to find a 'passion' - this is what was recommended by a lady on Woman's Hour for a happy post menopause (along with keeping fit, keeping up social contacts with friends and family).

cunexttuesonline · 05/06/2012 08:44

When I am done with the office stuff I would like to work in a deli, ideally I would like to open my own one.

Ambi · 05/06/2012 08:50

My brother's about to spend a year teaching in Tanzania. They love British teachers abroad and he's looking forward to teaching children who want to learn. He turned down offers in Gran Canaria and Germany and wanted to broaden his horizons more, I'm so excited for him.

norbettsauntie · 05/06/2012 13:02

I'm so pleased that I'm still getting responses to this post - you've given me so much to consider.

Anyone else got any ideas? Smile

OP posts:
complexnumber · 05/06/2012 13:08

In line with one or two of the other posts, have you considered VSO (Voluntary Service Overseas)?

It used to be the sort of thing you'd do after you graduated and before you started 'proper' work. But I believe it has changed a lot over the years and that they now really appreciate the experience maturity can bring.

Have a look.

www.vso.org.uk/

DukeHumfrey · 05/06/2012 13:15

What do you think of the ideas so far? Anything standing out?

TheFarSide · 05/06/2012 13:17

How many more ideas do you want norbetts ? Only you can find your passion so you need to do some work too.

timetoask · 05/06/2012 13:19

How exciting for you! Your children are older and you've got some freedom to do other things.
Do you have funds available for traveling?
I would chose a few countries that interest me and travel for 6 months, the trip MUST include diving though.