to think I shouldn't be punished for saying no to this?

[TidyDancer]

Two days ago, my friend dropped a last minute request on me to do something today. It didn't seem like a big deal thing, she even said she was planning on doing this thing whether I went with her or not. I told her I would let her know this morning, as I wasn't sure if I would be able to make it or not.

This morning, I have discovered I am not able to make it. I have told her this. She has got into one of those silent strops with me, and is apparently punishing me for not coming with her by not responding to text messages, and being arsey about it when she does reply. I should say that she is usually a prolific texter and so it is quite obvious when she doesn't reply for ages.

I wish I wasn't one of these people who feels guilt about these things, but I do feel bad that I am not able to do this with her today. She was happy at the time that I wouldn't be able to let her know until today whether I was able to come, but I suspect she assumed I would go, I usually do but have no CC to cover me, and this is not the kind of thing I want to take DS and DD to.

I think she's being childish and knows she can't have a go at me for not going, so she's punishing me with silence because she knows I'll feel bad.

AIBU for thinking I've done nothing wrong?

who are these people? if you can, do. if you can't, don't. they get to live with it. don't give them a thought. anyone who is trying to make you feel bad deserves to have no effect on you whatsoever.

my boss used to send for staff, setting a date a fortnight hence and refusing to say why; the idea was you'd be terrified for two weeks then he'd get you when you were really vulnerable. i let it slip to an aide that i'd learned to put him out of my mind until the day of the appointment. he changed his approach and took to sending for me on days when i didn't have any other break.
either way, he's out of my mind. he might want to be an ogre i fear, but actually he's an overgrown bully and i can't be bothered thinking about him. yes, he has the power to sack me or make me redundant on the most basic of pay -offs, but when he's done that, he'll have no power at all.

likewise sulky friends. they only have power if you give it to them.

God, I am SO with you on this one hilda

Thanks Valiumredhead,it never ceases to amaze me how many threads on here,and on relationships etc stem from texting (and Facebook too,while I'm at it ).

FB is the work of the devil!