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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to consider leaving 4yo and 17 week old for 4 nights?

21 replies

Stropzilla · 03/06/2012 19:48

I've had a very difficult year. Rough pregnancy, many hospital stays, c-section, 2 subsequent infections, massive weight loss, possible haematoma, brain scans, 2 grandparents passing on, uncle not expected to live much longer, and those are just the big things. Baby has a milk allergy which took an age for the drs to sort out and shes now on a lactose free formula and doing well. I desperately need a short break, time to sort the house out, do a little painting and maybe get utterly bladdered on a night out.

Mum is an angel and has seen i'm at the end of my tether mentally, and has told me she wants to take both kids mon - fri in a week to help me get back on track. I love my mum, trust her and she adores being a nan. My 4yo will love being with Nanna for that long, no worries there. My baby will be 17 weeks, and is still small for her age but healthy. Naturally I would miss my kids but they'll be all of a 20 min drive away. It would be fantastic for my husband and myself to actually spend some time together and get back some of the fun we've lost lately.

AIBU to think it might be ok to let mum take the kids that long, especially the baby? She's spent a couple of nights away from me already due to me being ill, and she still loves me but I have reservations about 4 nights.

What I need is for someone to tell me it will do her no harm, she will miss me but not hold it against me, and it's OK to need time to sort myself out? I can't deal with much more. It's been 1 thing after another and I'm exhausted. I feel as though I'm only bearly holding on.

OP posts:
TheCunningStunt · 03/06/2012 19:53

You sound like you need the beak. Take it! YANBU and your mum sounds fabulous!

TheCunningStunt · 03/06/2012 19:54

Beak???Blush bReak....

Curlybrunette · 03/06/2012 19:54

You go girl! You've had a bloody tough time and need a break. Your baby will be absolutely fine, she's with her nanna who adores her.

This could be the difference between you getting a break and having a bit of fun, or getting more and more down with possible pnd.

You deserve it.

BTW, what an ace mum you have!

DialMforMummy · 03/06/2012 19:55

YANBU. They will be fine and you will feel so much better for it! In fact you will be a better mum for it (as in more relaxed after a break)
Go go go!
( You are lucky to have a mum like this Envy )

JubileeTatWearer · 03/06/2012 19:55

YANBU. You'll be a better mother for the break. Enjoy!

JubileeTatWearer · 03/06/2012 19:55

X-post!

Groovee · 03/06/2012 19:56

Take it, especially as your mum isn't far. xx

rainbowinthesky · 03/06/2012 19:56

I assume your 17 week old knows your mother already so don't see what issue there could be. 4 year old will be fine too.

CecilyP · 03/06/2012 19:58

Your baby will be fine. If your wonderful mother is happy to take your kids, then you should enjoy the break with your husband and get a really good rest.

Coconutty · 03/06/2012 19:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EasilyBored · 03/06/2012 19:58

Yep, take it. You could always pop over for lunch or tea or even to pick up the babies if you really really want to. Enjoy your break, you sound like you need it!

everlong · 03/06/2012 19:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Becky2011 · 03/06/2012 19:59

If it's what you need & you feel your baby will be fine, go for it. I think it's important to look after yourself, hope it helps.

diddl · 03/06/2012 20:02

If you have reservations then do it for less time?

ladyintheradiator · 03/06/2012 20:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsEdinburgh · 03/06/2012 20:03

Take it.
Similar thing happened 2 me & for the sake of my sanity/life took it.
Although still felt terribly guilty.

For the sake of your sanity/life take your mum's offer as not only will it do you good but in the long run will be the right thing to do for your DC.

Just explain it as a big adventure to your 4 yr old and your 17wk old most likely won't even notice as long as her needs are met.

Stropzilla · 03/06/2012 20:28

And I thought I would be getting told I was a horrible selfish mother. I know it would be good for me, and someone mentioned PND, no I'm not there yet but it's been mentioned. I will gladly take the break and feel no guilt then!

OP posts:
CecilyP · 03/06/2012 20:30

Why would we? It is not like you are going to place your kids in some terrible orphanage. They will be with their gran who loves them.

squeakytoy · 03/06/2012 20:32

of course you should go! you trust your mum, your mum knows her grandchildren better than anyone only second to you... get packing!

Whatevertheweather · 03/06/2012 20:37

Sounds like just what you need, go for it. They are only 20 mins away if you find you are missing them too much and it will be lovely when you are all back together with your batteries recharged.

wigglesrock · 03/06/2012 20:43

I left my then 3 year old and 13 week old daughters for 4 nights to go to New York, a few years ago. For reasons that are hugely boring I hadn't spent much time with my husband for about a year (just enough to get pregnant Grin). My daughters were with their grandparents for less than a week, it was fine Grin

Your eldest child will understand its just for a bit (mine love their Nana beyond all limits Grin) and the baby as someone has previously said just needs to be fed, kept safe and loved and I'm sure their grandparents will be able to do that Grin

Please don't feel guilty, (save that until you have to miss a school event Blush) and remember you are your Mums child and she wants you to be safe, happy and loved so let her give you a hand.

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