To let ds sleep in my bed because I secretly like it

[lalaland3008]

H'es never co slept before and has always been fab at bedtimes and sleeping all night. He's only ever really come into my bed when he's been ill.

He's just turned 4 now and has suddenly taken a liking to creeping into my bed about half of the time on very occassionally starting out in my bed.

I kind of like the fact that he wants a cuddle as he's always been very confident and independent and wanting to do his own thing. Figured he won't be my 'little boy' for much longer.

He's

Is there a reason why he's started doing this? Attention?

Do you have a DP?

No dp and no I don't think there's any reason he's very confident and gets lots of attention. He's got a little fear of the dark that's new which I do repeatedly reassure him about I think he just likes the massive bed and all my pillows.

Awww! That's sweet!

I would encourage it

I secretly like it too.

In fact I really like it when DH gets DD (15 months) if she wakes in the night and then a bit later DS (4yo) creeps in.

Luckily we have a super kingsize bed

Seems fine then, as long as you're both happy with it.

DH is away for 5 weeks and ds is 9mo and in with me anyay but I positively encourage dd to join us. She has no problems with sleeping alone when dh returns. I love having a family bed and all night cuddles.

My 6 year old still likes to sleep in our bed. Her snoring is cuter than my husband's, so I'm going to be sad when she gets ousted in the next couple of weeks for her soon-to-arrive sister :)

My DH gets up for work at 5.00 and I nearly always hear a tired little "mummy?" from my 21m DS. I could probably settle him back to sleep, but I always bring him into bed because he throws his little arms around me, does a huge happy sigh and falls back to sleep.

God I love that child.

This is the kind of thing I'll remember when he's left home.

I don't think YABU at all. I think anything of this nature is down to the individual parents and really is not right or wrong.

What I do think has to be thought about is the long term effects. If it becomes a habit (despite how wonderful it makes both you and DS feel) what if after a while you think you need one or two nights in bed alone so you can sleep properly I.e if you are unwell, what if you get a new partner and you may not welcome a midnight bed crasher! If all of a sudden you change the goal posts DS won't understand it fully and will no doubt kick off, which isn't really his fault. Then you are both left feeling a little frustrated, with a DS who once was a confident sleeper but now out of pattern and routine.

That said, I think you should do what ever makes you happy.

Well he goes to bed alone (after bedtime story) in his own room at 7.30. Has honestly never played up at bedtime and is always asleep within 10 minutes and he also happily sleeps at my grandparents, on holiday, anywhere really. It's just literally he's obviously waking up some of the time 3am ish and hopping in with me.

Think there have been literally two occassions when we've come back from somewhere really late and he was really tired i was too tired to do bath and story and he's gone straight into mine.

Cracked ye I agree with that, I think if it started becoming every night or goes on for too long such as once he's started school I will probably ease him back into putting him back in bed.

I don't even see why people have to be secret about it, it's nice to have a cuddle isn't it>?

It's not a secret here, I absolutely adore and love it, and I am slightly dissapointed when he chooses his own bed on his return from his nightly visit to the loo.
I have noticed that I am getting fewer and fewer visits now that he is getting older and better at not needing the toilet during the night .

My 9.5 year old DS occasionally spends the night with me. It was once or twice a week at one point, but he is a duvet hogger and a mover, so now it's once in a while. He's always welcome for a cuddle in the mornings and some school mornings, I cuddle him in his bed for 5 minutes before he has to get up. It's lovely.

boxy totally agree, there should be no secrecy but speaking as a new mum it's amazing how other people can be so judgemental over the simplest of parenting decisions.

Every child is different and the only person(s) that know that child well enough to make a call on what is right or wrong is the parents / full time carer. My DS is one and it's taken a while for me to have confidence in my own parenting!

yanbu at all

have you tried black out blinds on his window - we had youngest DC waking up at this time until i blacked out her window

I love it when DS (6) sneaks into bed beside me.

snuggles! love it!

I think the secret bit is because I know there are people who would say dong this will make a child spoilt/clingy/make a rod for your own back/they'll still be there at 30. Though that's not how I see it.

It sounds lovely. The 'little fear of the dark thing' would have me buying him one of those glowing plug ins and keeping an eye on how often he came in though.

I love it too. It's getting rarer and rare now (at 5) but DS slept in with me until he was nearly 3 and I was bereft when he decided to go into his big-boy bed. He sleeps brilliantly and has no fear of the dark at all, but there's nothing like having a little cuddle and a whisper at 3am and then drifting off back to sleep together. DH often ends up in DS's (tiny) bed on these nights, though, so he's less keen!

Ds often sleeps with me when dh is away and even slept with dh last night. I don't mind it at all. He often tells me he loves me in the middle of the night. He is five.

My dd is 10 and sleeps with me most weekends. I'm on my own so it's not a problem. I used to think I shouldn't encourage it but now I'm not so bothered. I love watching her sleep and snuggling up

Aww it's lovely, enjoy it while it lasts.
I really miss it.
( DS now 14.)