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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think a 17yo can be left home alone?

41 replies

MrsHelsBels74 · 03/06/2012 10:02

My son is only 27 months so I really have no idea. A work colleague was off for 2 days last week as her 17 (maybe 18) year old son was ill with tonsillitis. She only lives about 5-10 minutes from work & works from 9.00 - 2.30. AIBU to think she could have come to work?
As I said, I have no experience of teenagers so am just curious.

OP posts:

lalaland3008 · 03/06/2012 11:25

In theory yes, but in reality and depending how bad he was I can understand it.

You'd have a day off for anyone even your partner if they were really, really bad.

MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 03/06/2012 11:29

I lived on my own when I was 17, but it's difficult without knowing how ill her child was. Tonsillitis can be pretty bad.

lalaland3008 · 03/06/2012 11:29

Oh I agree if you had a real migraine you wouldn't be looking at a computer screen.

TartyMcFarty · 03/06/2012 11:34

He might go to uni or start his own job within months. Will she still take time off to look after him then? YANBU, takes the piss. At 17/18 he ought to be functioning as an adult. But maybe she operates in the same way and expects TLC when she's unwell.

TartyMcFarty · 03/06/2012 11:36

Would you really have a day off if your partner had tonsilitis or similar? Fuck me, DH has had to leave me home after surgery, not allowed to lift a kettle. I wouldn't expect anything different.

MarysBeard · 03/06/2012 11:41

I would leave them, go to work and ask someone to look in on them - a neighbour, friend or grandparent.

CremeEggThief · 03/06/2012 11:44

Depends on how severe the tonsillitis is. I had it last year, and I wouldn't consider I had it that badly, but I basically can't remember clearly a whole week of my life, and my throat felt slightly sore and I was generally run down for the best part of a year afterwards. It is only now that I feel well that I realise, as I got so used to feeling off-colour, it was the norm.

MarysBeard · 03/06/2012 11:48

I've had tonsilitis repeatedly but nothing that made me feel ill for more than a couple of days, usually. The worst bout was when DD1 was 8 months old and I was ill for a few days, but still had to look after DD1. I've never had the 'flu.

exoticfruits · 03/06/2012 11:49

Maybe she is really worried about him. I have a friend whose husband was ill in bed with 'flu-he developed septicemia and he died next day. Another friend had a husband with bouts of tonsillitis and it turned out to be leukemia. I would give her the benefit of the doubt-you don't know how bad he is.

HRH2shoesofMn · 03/06/2012 11:49

if he is nt then yes she could leave him.
my dd is 17 but disabled so couldn't.
are you sure there is no sn?

Mrsjay · 03/06/2012 12:45

It really depends how ill they are and tonsillitis can be horrible , im not soft in the least but if my eldest 19 was really ill i would stay home .

aldiwhore · 03/06/2012 12:47

Although I think in general you can be ill alone at 17, I wouldn't judge... if she felt the need to be at home with him, she had valid enough reason, and shouldn't be expected to explain herself.

So, YABU to question it really, even if I sort of agree with you.

lovebunny · 03/06/2012 12:49

depends on the tonsillitis. daughter had it once and narrowly avoided hospitalisation.

RubyFakeNails · 03/06/2012 12:52

I think as tonsillitis can be quite fierce -DS was delirious last time he had it, was actually a bit disturbing- it sounds understandable.

However would be interested to see if she does it again/regularly when he is ill.

Typically they can be left on their own at that age but, I wouldn't have left DH who is in his late 30s if he had been in the state DS was with tonsillitis.

cory · 03/06/2012 13:43

TartyMcFarty Sun 03-Jun-12 11:36:09
"Would you really have a day off if your partner had tonsilitis or similar? Fuck me, DH has had to leave me home after surgery, not allowed to lift a kettle. I wouldn't expect anything different."

Doesn't compare in any way to being delirious with a high fever. Dh wouldn't have dreamt of taking time off just because I couldn't lift a kettle after I had surgery, but he did when I was completely out of it with pleurisy. Far, far scarier situation. If I'd been living in halls at the time I am sure my fellow students would have called an ambulance. As it was the out of hours doctor who came to our house in the middle of the night made sure that I had somebody with me.

Of course none of us can know how ill this lad really was. All we are saying is tonsillitis can cause the kind of serious symptoms where the only real alternative to somebody staying with you is hospitalisation. We don't know if it did in this particular case. But when it does- you just don't leave that person alone.

ImperialBlether · 03/06/2012 13:52

Tonsillitis can be absolutely awful. Whether your friend's son had it badly is another questions, if she's form for skiving. I've driven to my daughter's university to pick her up, she's been so ill with it. Yes, I would have taken the day off if she'd really needed someone with her.

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