Aibu to think v few mothers have 2 kids with them all the time

[Queenie72]

So, I have 2 ds one is 3 months other is 2.5.I gave up work when ds1 was born, and ds1wont start nursery until Sept this year. I feel like Iam literally the only person who hasnt sent their first child to nursery when 2nd one born. Most of the people who have kept child at nursery or with childminder did return to work between children, maybe that is the difference. Luckily ds1 still sleeps 2-3 hours every afternoon and mum often takes him for days out. I just feel I rarely get time alone with ds2 and perhaps did the wrong thing not sending ds1 to nursery in April. Coping with toddler and baby all day everyday is hard work, wouldn't change it for the world but sometimes feel sad I don't get much time,with ds2. Hubby is fab at weekends and evenings so perhaps I am being silly.

I have no inclination to get all judgeypants about your statement, but just to say you aren't alone - I have two of 7mo and 2yr 4mo and the elder will go to nursery in Sept for two mornings a week. I have friends though with the same age children who are doing that already and they spend the time doing stuff with their DC2s, so I guess I know what you mean.

I wouldn't worry about not doing specific stuff with your 2nd - half the things I did with my first probably went over his head... my DD is entertained by the antics of DS!

I'm the only one of my friends who kept both my dd's with me full time, I have a 2.4 age gap. It was very hard in the beginning but I'm reaping the rewards now as my girls are great friends and play beautifully together. Life is so much easier now, hang on in there

Yes hang on in there;completely understand what you mean all the friends I made when dd was born who have gone on to have 2nd children send the 1st to nursery (most around 4 days a week) which I think is a little bit of a shame :( I do know what you mean about having time for the second child which is why dd1 will do a few mornings at preschool come september (dd2 will be 1yr by then) I've started meeting mums in a similar situation to me since I started going to local mother and toddler groups and it helps. I'm sure you're are doing a fantastic job, enjoy your little ones whilst they are young; you'll look back with fond memories when you remember your time with both DCs at home all day.

I can honestly say I don't know anyone who has put their baby/toddler in Nursery because they've had another baby.

Most people use the Nursery that's attached to the Infant school here and they don't start that until the school year in which they turn 4yrs old.

I have 2.4 yrs between my two and that first year with two was hard work! For a while I sent the oldest to CM for 2 mornings a week as I have no family nearby and DH was out of the house from 7am-6pm.

Now they're 5yrs and 3yrs things are much easier to deal with - this is the good bit of being a SAHM :)

you must know some pretty rich people.

i have 3... dd1 turned 3 in march,ds2 is 21 months and dd2 is 16 weeks, all at home with me full time, also a 10 year old but he goes to school

I have 2 at home with me all day and would feel terrible for carting dd1 (3yo) off to nursery just because I was expecting another one. Dd2 is 15 weeks and will be 6 months when dd1 starts nursery in September. I'm a sahm and don't really see the point in pre-schools unless you're a working mum. Tbh I wouldn't have it any other way, love them both to bits!

Mine are 2.11 and 3 months and I have both full-time.

I too sometimes feel like I do not have much time just with DD2, but she has an older sister to entertain her too and she isn't half as demanding as DD1 attention-wise at the moment. She is happy to sit in her bouncy chair, watch us and gurgle away or play on her mat. Plus she is in the sling when we go out so gets to look at lots of interesting things then too. I am hoping that it makes her an independent child like my DD1, so that they can play on their own when they get older, while I put my feet up!