To expect a bit of help with the house clean up?!

[BerryJubileeCheesecake]

Morning all, I am having a surprise family party this afternoon and have to tidy the whole house as was too tired to do it all last night and the place is an awful mess.

It's literally every room and I have to shop and prepare the food too.

Any tips on where to start?

I did ask for help but he claims he can't as he stayed up all night on purpose playing computer games so needs to sleep till the guests arrive bastard

AIBU to want him to help? I can't argue with him or persuade him as he very quick tempered as once he's made his mind up that's it. So am frustrated as there's nothing I can do to make him help argghh

he cant help because he stayed up asll night playing on the computer. words fail me. your family or his? Kids?

Don't stress - just sit down with a quick cuppa for 5 mins (you won't get another chance), with a piece of paper and make a list of everything that needs doing. (Make sure you log off MN first - or no work will take place).

I would do the ones that take the longest first, and leave the shortest till last, and if you are still preparing food when the guests arrive, I am sure they will give you a hand.

And have 1 room as a dumping area (even if its your bedroom)..... less clutter always makes a house look tidy.

And if anyone has offered to help.... then give them a ring or text and take them up on the offer.

Good luck and have fun

well what a git

I would recc black bagging to clear and sort one room at a time, taking the stuff to be sorted into your bedroom and shutting the door on it to deal with tomorrow. Run hoover round, quick scouf of the cloth round hard floors and job done, obv scour bathroom.

BUT

you need to examine your relationship. When did it become acceptable for him to sleep while you skivvy? Are you afraid of his ''quick temper''? What does he do once he's ''made his mind up'' - shout? Or something else?

Who's family? Who's idea? How many people are coming?

I would suggest taking eveyone to the pub or park with a nice cafe and make partner pay for it.

what Random said. Who made him the boss so he can decide what goes? Why can't you make your mind up that everybody will clean and that's it? Why is cleaning your responsibility in the first place?

It would be his computer games that I black bagged I'm afraid. You shouldn't be concerned about his temper, at all. How can you cope with being afraid of him? Does he use this to get his own way in other circumstances?

That is the worst excuse I've ever heard, presumably he knew about the party in advance so should have curbed his gaming so as to help you either last night or today.
Too late now but next time get him to agree to help in advance?
Not defending him at all but men do have a completely different threshold for 'tidiness' I.e. what is acceptable and isn't, compared with women.
Black bagging plan is the best one. But reevaluate your relationship and have it out with him after the event. He doesn't deserve you.

You are looking at it from the wrong perspective. When an adult is doing house work they aren't actually "helping" the other adult. I think the tidying up for the party is the least of your issues with this relationship.

My dh is giving me sideways looks to help with the tidying up.

It's guilt that'll get the better of me in the end. If he starts having a go I'll feel justified to get a face on and continue Mnetting,but if he quietly gets on with it I'll feel shamed into contributing

Would that work for you,maybe?

Tell him he'll be tidying up after the party whilst you sit with your feet up

I was up all night playing computer games, my FIL is coming, I am grumpily cleaning. He should muck in or be kicked out when the guests arrive.

He went for an hour long bike ride to clear his head but atleast he came back and wrapped the presents

MIL is coming for tea this afternoon and I'm stuck doing loads of tidying/cleaning/laundry. dh has gone off out to do some woodland tasks/bonfire I know which I'd rather be doing

Whose family?
Who decided on this party?
Who decided you should host it?

If the answer is Mine, I and I, yabu.

If the answer is His, he and he, Yanbu and if I were you I would just go out for the day.

What Quint said

I just couldn't manage to put it into words Lol