....to make visiting kids tidy up?

[froggydoo]

Ok so I have my own two DCs today plus three other kids with me this afternoon. Ages 4 -7. The other kids weren't invited by me, but I'm looking after them to help out a couple of friends.

I've done this several times in the past couple of weeks, looking after the kids for 6/7 hours each time. I work a very full on job with weird shifts so get little free time, but I'm finding in the time I do get off I often seem to be providing childcare for others.

The kids have really trashed the playroom this avo - normally I'd just tidy later, but today I've decided to tell them they won't get tea unless they tidy it all up. AIBU?

FWIW the kids who did the trashing were the guests and not my own....

You KNOW you're not !

YANBU

And I hope your friends reciprocate for you on terms of the childcare too

YANBU at all.

We do a "ten minute tidy up time" before they go home.

I'd also be knocking the free childcare on the head quick sharp.

YANBU. Tidy up time before dinner here too. I expect whatever children are here to help with the tidying regardless of who made the mess.

Of course yanbu.
10 minutes before any child invitees of mine are due to leave, I yell "TIDY UP TIME!" up the stairs and they usually make sime sort of attempt to reduce the carnage!

YANBU.

I have 2 different kinds of friends and their DC's. Those DC's who get everything out, take the piss basically, and never offer or help tidy up. And those who tend to chose 1 thing and pack it away before something else is got out.

Those that trash now get offered something to play with and only get something else once it's tidied up.

I don't mind a few different things out - or tidying them up when guests have gone - but I do mind mindless trashing as that shows disrespect.

YANBU. When my DS was younger other children always seemend to end up in our house. I got wise to the fact they would get everything out and then go home. I used to ask them what time they had to be home and then stop them playing 10 minutes before they had to leave to make them help with the clearing up.
You could always make it into a game and see how quickly they can tidy the toys away - reminding them that it has to be done properly and not just thrown in any old way. At age 4 and above they are old enough to help with tidying. If they/the parents don't like it, they can find free childcare elsewhere!!!!

YANBU

DS is 2 and a trasher so I always offer to tidy before we go home. I am working on him being more tidy but he's little yet and is no worse than his peers.

Glad i'm not being a meanie!

I'm just feeling grumpy and quite a lot like the kids just don't respect the house. Have had to lock our bedroom door as they kept going in although asked not to. Grrr....

And it is absolutely the case that the visitors have just dumped everything out and then walked away....,

How about this plan of action?

Ask your friends to reciprocate the childcare - if they don't then they are taking advantage of your kind nature and you need to decline future requests.

Stock up on freddos / haribo which is the reward for tidying up when you tell them to.

Send uninvited visiting children home with lots of glittery shite to scatter over their parents car and house having fed them coke / redbull 2 minutes before they go home - that should put a stop to their parents sending them round

YANBU end of.

Do you have my friends children round? I don't mind children doing stuff but cannot abide them doing it when asked not to - it's just so bleeding rude and disrespectful.

Course not.

Plus they'll probably find it fun and make a game out of it.

Simple rules-they get it out-they put it away.

As a one off I don't mind clearing up when other DC have been round, but you're looking after them so much why should you tidy up after them all the time!

They won't sustain any long term psychological damage from having to tidy up their destruction

YAabsolutelyNBU to have them tidying up after themselves.

But:-
"I've done this several times in the past couple of weeks, looking after the kids for 6/7 hours each time. I work a very full on job with weird shifts so get little free time, but I'm finding in the time I do get off I often seem to be providing childcare for others."
You need to knock this on the head. We all help each other out in times of need, but it seems a bit too frequent to me. Is it the same friends every time? Why do they need you to look after their demoloshers children - what are they doing that's so much more important than you?