IABU I know i am but fed up of being reasonable

[Mrsjay]

oh i just had a bit of a passive aggresive arguement with my sister AGAIN she is very close to mum she still lives at home , and ive just read another FB status me and mum been for lunch ,
I never get invited to anything they do and my mum does nothing to include me in their relationship , I said to my sister next time you go for lunch let me know im usually free
, I said her today oh i wish you had said i didnt know you and mum were off work , she said i thought you would be busy , so on it went me saying oh its FINE maybe next time , I know i am sounding a jealous sibling and probably am but im really fed up of being excluded and a little hurt ,

Hiya well i went to see them and had my say i think as others said i need to stop saying its Fine of course I dont want to be included in everything they do I said poit blank oh it wouldve been nice to go with you both , I always here this after , they did look a bit about it, so we will see If they improve , im feeling better for getting it out . thanks for replying even Katie cos it made me laugh TBH It's just a forum not an English essay i am writing , punctuation really is some peoples thing

Your not being unreasonable at all. I have the same issue, although I have tried to tell them rationally that it upsets me and that I'd love to come with them. I found out a few weeks ago that they had been to London together to see a show :( This was after me actually discussing London with my mum regarding something else - she deliberately didn't tell me and I had deliberately been excluded. It was on my day off as well (I work PT) I used to work full time and that used to be a reason - now I'm part time they still don't do it.

They don't seem to understand how much it hurts and just accuse me of being jealous and unreasonable. I just try and detach and do lovely things with my DH. It hurts though.

No harm in people being able to spell and punctuate sentences correctly.

ever thought of inviting your Mum out to lunch without your sister? The fact that they live together makes it easier.

OP - how old are you and your sister? when you were younger did you ever do things on your own with your mum, did your sister feel left out then? I think YABU, just tell them if it's an issue, don't be passive aggressive.

Seems to me there is a whole lot of one-up-man-ship [sp?] going on here.

I was wondering if your sister might have posted about her lunch with your Mum as a sort of 'ner ner ner look what we're doing' aimed at you? Is she quite competitive with you normally?

And KateSpade is obviously having a superior moment as well.

OP, maybe you should just mention to your mum and your sister that it would be nice if all three of you got together more frequently. If that's what you'd like to do.

Maybe there is a bit of history between the three of you which might explain why you felt a bit left out on this occasion . Because otherwise it seems quite a normal thing that sometimes your mum has lunch just with your sister.

Does your mum sometimes have lunch (or just meet up) only with you (without your sister)? And does she sometimes have lunch with both of you? And do you sometimes have lunch with your sister - without your mother?

Family relationships are a minefield.

(PS tell the commas to eff off; they are annoying little buggers at the best of times.)

hiya just to answera few things
no I havn't been for lunch with my mum in ages she always seems to be busy working or food shopping I do try and get her out of her routine , I do see my mum once a week but she won't do anything iyswim there is 12 years between my sister and me she is seen as the babywhich i really honestly don't mind , mum says sister needs her more than i do , I dont mean to be so snippy about it as im 41 and a grown up it does hurt and although i have gotten used to it , occasionally it bothers me ,

OP, you don't sound snippy at all. Hope everything is ok.

Tbh, it's not just a grammar police thing - some people, myself included, find it really difficult to make sense of an unpunctuated paragraph and are less likely to respond if they can't make sense of it!
So to get more responses, using commas and full stops is sensible.

OP - YANBU but your sister is either one of those people who should have this t-shirt or she's posting it because she knows you will see it and is being deliberately provocative, at best, and outright mean at worst.