To think my DP should just give up smoking "just like that"?

[mama01]

Ok, you are here now. I really want to know what "support" does he need to give up smoking as he says he wants to. I'm of the opinion he should just give up, how am I supposed to help? But his response to this is "You are not supporting me" so he stops trying.

He's always smoked roll ups, ever since I met him. I dislike smoking but in comparison to spending the rest of my life bored and lonely tis a small thing......

He only smokes when drinking really; at the pub, mate's houses or at night watching tv or listening to music. Not many a day, sometimes none usually anything from one to half a dozen.When he moved in with me he was actually pissed off that I wanted him to smoke out the back door (something friends do without eve asking...) which pissed me off even more. He eventually got his own space in the house and this is where he smokes. He's there now...

I thought he'd give up when he moved in, when we were trying for baby, when I got pregnant, when our DC was born, etc etc. No. He still smokes although he's had a few periods when he has stopped for a while. In a way it's not a huge problem as it's out of sight etc. But he's shortening his life expectancy, his mum's had lung cancer and has emphycema and he has a child who I want him to be a father to for as long as possible. He says he wants to stop, but when he last really tried I was accused of not supporting him. I don't know what this means and he can't or won't explain.

I know I am not a sympathetic person when I think someone could do better (ie when they are ill - just get on with it....) so I don't think I'm the best person to flag wave on the road to being nicotine-free. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? I really don't know.

I've a feeling he's read the Alan Carr book but I'll ask him later. Patches helped him last time too, but don't know much about the E cigarettes.

Problem is wanting a cigarette when he has a drink - that's a whole other story. He likes to drink wine with evening meals and it's really hard for him not to have a drink each evening. He's cut down a lot but still finds it hard not to. Addictive personality he says. I think I'll find out if he ever smokes if he's not had a drink. If he doesn't then cutting down the drink will be a way forward.

Giving up smoking is hellish. Being supportive would mean not going on about it all the time, I suppose, and acknowledging when your DP has done well, but he does need to get his mai support elsewhere - from books like Allen Carr, a smoking cessation clinic or nicotine replacement.

Seriously, though, try to cut him some slack. Tobacco is as addictive as heroin.

main support

I must say OP it does annoy me when people say they have an addictive personality. It's almost as if it's beyond their power and not their responsibility and not their fault. It's just a big excuse.

It is possible but only if he wants to do it. My grandma had smoked for years, since being quite young, until a few years ago. Doctor told her she needed to stop so she did, never smoked again from that day on.

I would ban it entirely from the house.

But i can understand why you dont like it at all. I would hate DH to ever smoke 0 urgh!

The e cigarettes are best for the social smoker.

I am a bugger for wanting a fag when ive had a drink and the efag really worked.

I'm about 8 weeks given up now

Are you my twin?

Dh is giving up. I gave up because of ttc and then stopped permanently because of the money. Dh goes through periods of stopping and starting.
He has just ordered an e-cig (which doesn't take nicotine)which he thinks will help as he reckons that he is addicted to the physical act of smoking rather than nicotine. We will see!

You are not unreasonable asking him for specifics on how to help him. You're not a mindreader with insight into his addiction. Maybe he just wants you to not take offence at his stupid comments- who knows?

The most important thing is that he wants to do it. If he doesn't want to quit it won't work.

DP and I both vape instead of smoking. Much cheaper than cigarettes. Nicotine only in the 'juice'. No associated smell.

Juicycigs and liberty flights have good online stores. The Ego starter kits are very good. A lot better than the E-cigarettes for the nicotine hit.