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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think there is a motherly instinct that kicks in?

28 replies

wheresthepopcorn · 31/05/2012 15:28

Long story short. A little while ago outside Sainsburys my friend was waiting with my 1 year old (in pushchair) outside the Sainsburys while I was finishing up in the queue. When I met up with her outside I noticed a very angry looking (snarling) medium sized dog who was flailing with owner (quite a big muscular guy so not sure why he was having any trouble) struggling to control this dog with his leash tied to a pole. I knew he would break loose and when he did I leapt to push the stroller away from his path, unfortunately colliding my friend's foot in the process (not very hard, although apologised profusely as I felt silly). The dog went off and did not land up where my child was. I think my friend thought I was being paranoid. I think it was motherly instinct kicking in as this dog looked pretty agressive to me and was straining on the lead towards us. Was I being paranoid or is there such a thing as motherly instinct? If so, have you experienced it?

OP posts:

Ithinkitsjustme · 31/05/2012 15:31

I think that being a mother means that you often see danger where someone else wouldn't.

WorraLiberty · 31/05/2012 15:33

I think it's parental instinct

Me and my DH are exactly the same when it comes to things like that

Act first and think later.

Ormiriathomimus · 31/05/2012 15:36

Don't think it's got anything to do with mothers, or fathers. I'd do it with any child or vulnernable person (including myself) that I was with.

babylann · 31/05/2012 15:39

I would probably argue that for me it's come on since becoming a mum, but that some people do just have it in them. And now that I have dd, I am very protective of all children getting in harms way.

takingiteasy · 31/05/2012 15:42

Oh yes. I am a lioness. Saws

takingiteasy · 31/05/2012 15:42

Oh yes. I am a lioness. Rawr.

WorraLiberty · 31/05/2012 15:45

A lioness armed with a saw?

Blimey, that is protective!

takingiteasy · 31/05/2012 15:47

I also fail at auto correct! Rawr.

RandomNumbers · 31/05/2012 15:55

Lolo at saw

Yes parental instinct

Poss Richard Dawkins would have a genes driven explanation

ScrambledSmegs · 31/05/2012 16:03

Definitely parental instinct. DH and I are the same - in fact DH is worse than me, far more risk averse.

The first time we took DD out to the park to use her new trike, I took her helmet. DH tried to tie her on to the trike and when that didn't work he insisted on holding her on. She's perfectly capable of riding a trike by herself I honestly thought the helmet was enough!

MaisyMooCow · 31/05/2012 16:06

Many years ago when the IRA bombed Manchester, my brother, his wife and their new baby were shopping in the city centre when the bomb exploded. My brother instinctively threw himself over the pram. Seconds later large shards of glass rained down on them from the surrounding buildings.

So yes, parental protective instincts definitely kick in.

TroublesomeEx · 31/05/2012 16:09

I agree with parental instinct.

And about it being about seeing dangers when they haven't quite happened yet.

My DH was trying to explain to his friend what was so emotionally and mentally draining about having a baby/toddler - he said it was that you constantly have to be one step ahead of the rest of the universe.

grumblinalong · 31/05/2012 16:18

Yep, instinct is definitely a winner . The other day DD (11 months) pulled over the easel in the kitchen and it was heading for her head. I was on the other side of the kitchen and I literally leapt 11 ft across the room and caught it. If I tried to do it again I couldn't. I'm no athlete but I'm sure I'd have got an olympic gold medal in the long jump

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 31/05/2012 16:24

Definatly parental instinct. When ds1 was a baby his dad was holding him when he stumbled slightly near our coffee table. I was watching and it only looked like a small stumble, but his instinct to protect the baby from falling towards the table made him fall in the most awkward way possible, and he ended up damaging the ligaments in his knee quite badly. If he had fallen normally, ds could have been hurt by banging in to the table, but as it was he ended up giggling, completely unharmed! I had to phone a friend to take exdp to hospital, and he later ended up having to have his knee operated on.

babybythesea · 31/05/2012 18:05

I tripped coming down the stairs a couple of years ago, while carrying dd (aged 15 months). Normally you'd grab at whatever you could (banisters for example) to stop the fall (I was five steps up from the bottom, with an open stairgate underneath me). I didn't even try. Instead, I span in mid-air and managed to aim us through the open gate. I landed flat on my back with an unhurt child on top of me. I was completely winded and couldn't even twitch a finger for several minutes. I genuinely thought I'd damaged my spine for a few minutes. And I couldn't tell you how I managed to get through the fall without any harm coming to dd. And my immediate stress? DD got up and toddled off, leaving me lying unable to move at the foot of the stairs. I worried that DH wouldn't be home for ages - what harm could come to her in that time if I couldn't move to rescue her?
Instinct of some sort, for sure, kept her safe even though it could have been very nasty for me.

MrsTerryPratchett · 31/05/2012 18:09

Talking about dogs, my Uncle has a small dog, very independent badly behaved and doesn't obey anyone. When DD was tiny he went towards her and I said, "don't you dare" in a really snarly voice to the dog. Literally, tail between the legs and never went near her again. Not only is it instinct, even dogs can smell it!

BBisTitanium · 31/05/2012 18:51

I was getting DS out if the car on mums drive, uncovered drain, foot went down it caused me to fall forward, didnt even attempt to save myself shielded ds by throwing weight to opposite side, damn near broke my leg, but baby was tiptop! I couldnt walk for a week,Couldnt catch my breath but cried as i thought he was hurt!

Dp has fallen down the stairs with DS and threw himself backwards so hard he fractured his ankle, again DS fine!

Every instinct in me would protect my kids, am pregnant and supermarkets are a nightmare hyper paranoid about someone bashing me! I was titled the tigeress by the Mws with DS as i would literally sit bolt upright from sleep if anyone entered our room!!

holmesgirl · 31/05/2012 20:17

Not exactly parental but I am same with my DNs. DB works weekends, I take care of his DDs. Anyway, I am absolutely terrified of wasps, where I scream and flail when one comes near me. One got in my living room last weekend and was divebombing homed in on DN and calm as anything I whacked it full force and killed it with my hand :-o

takingiteasy · 31/05/2012 23:36

Once I was at a party in someone's back garden. There Were 3 steps down to the lawn. I was walking down the steps with an open bottle of wine and a full glass. I fell, arse over tit, proper fell.

I didn't spill a drop.

Is that the same sort of thing?

hiddenhome · 31/05/2012 23:42

I grabbed my friend's arm and yanked her back when we were trying to cross a road the other day. A car suddenly came round the corner and she didn't see it, but I did, and my arm just shot out and grabbed her. She got a shock, but at least she wasn't squashed I did it without even thinking

Kleptronic · 31/05/2012 23:45

takingiteasy :o

MrsTerryPratchett · 31/05/2012 23:46

takingiteasy that is much more innate. Mothering took some work I was born with the wine-saving gene.

takingiteasy · 31/05/2012 23:49

I did do a goalie style dive to stop ds hitting a fence when we were sledging once. In our haste to chuck him down a hill at a rate of knots we forgot to factor in stopping distances.

sadsac · 01/06/2012 00:26

I think you get used to protecting your toddler/baby - because you kind of know what they're likely to do. Like steer the scooter badly if the pavement's a bit narrow, or not realise they're going into the road at certain points.

But you kind of lose that instinct as they get older and you know that they'll not do things like that.

Friends have younger children than mine and it takes me ages to assess and realise now that what they're doing is dangerous. Whereas a few years ago, it would have been instinctive.

LucieMay · 01/06/2012 00:37

I became an aunty at 16 and it pretty much kicked in then (have two nieces and one DS aged six) and has continued to this day. The biggest example is when I was in at a festival with my eldest niece (then aged 13). We were watching a band and it was pretty tight for space. Everyone else was great but there was a big drunken guy flailing around and knocking into all of us. Niece is the size of a twig and I was worried about her getting crushed. I didn't even think- I grabbed his shoulders and punched him in the face and told him to get the fuck away from us ! Very unlike me (I'm only a wee female 5'4"!) and quite dangerous really but I wasn't thinking- I just acted instinctively. Everyone around me cheered and I think the guy was so shocked he simply moved away! I took her to a festival last year (then aged 15) and some guys aged in their 20s were staring at her (she looks very young, couldn't be mistaken for being older) and came over to talk to her and I told them to back off and stop being dirty pervs! Again, the words just came tumbling out of my mouth!

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