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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

or would I be completely stingy...

65 replies

noobydoo · 31/05/2012 12:12

for not giving children party bags at DS part?

Firstly, when I get one the first thing I do is throw it in the bin.
Secondly, they are so expensive if they are filled and too much of a faff if they aren't (especially considering there will be approx 30 kids coming).
Lastly, they will be coming to the party, enjoying the food (hopefully) the play and the cake - which now I have costed it works out at £7 a head.

Your thoughts please on whether I am a stingy so and so.

OP posts:

susiedaisy · 31/05/2012 13:20

YANBU to want to avoid party bags
But Yabu to not give anything out at the end of the party, as others have said a slice of cake and a ballon is suffice.

DogEared · 31/05/2012 13:23

We went to a party once where, instead of a party bag, we were given a little plant in a teeny tiny pot. It was lovely, and we really appreciated it a few weeks later when the flower bloomed. I think the mother bought a load of plastic pots for 10p each, a bag of compost and a bag of bulbs.

RaPaPaPumPumBootyMum · 31/05/2012 13:28

But just because something is "the norm" that doesn't mean that everyone has to follow this like sheep!

Imo it is also ok to have a birthday party without a cake if you want to. Why not? Is the party suddenly less enjoyable due to an absence of cake?

Maybe I am the strange one [probably ] but i truly find this attitude of party bags being essential otherwise you are stingy and people will talk very odd.

It wouldn't even figure on my radar and I am pretty sure DS wouldn't be bothered either.

DamnBamboo · 31/05/2012 13:30

It depends on your reasons I suppose.
Are you just trying to save a few quid, or are you trying to buck the trend because you hate all the tat?

IME the kids go for the cake and little packet of haribo and the rest gets played with for a short while only.

You could maybe give them a slice of cake and packet of sweets and be done with it.

If you really want to throw the little darlings off, do pass the parcel and don't put a a mini prize in each layer.

Get them every time

DamnBamboo · 31/05/2012 13:32

I think switchtv if right though, usually cutting back on food is a good way to go.

So much gets left over and that's even when you cater just normal amounts.

Ithinkitsjustme · 31/05/2012 13:32

Do a lucky dip of bits'n'pieces you can pick up for no more than 50p each. The book people often do packs of books that work out at less than a £1 each, wrap up one for each child and give them out randomly. I don't do plastic tat either, and I agree - every party bag my kids have ever brought home has gone in the bin within a day.

DamnBamboo · 31/05/2012 13:32

Can't bloody type - is right that should say

KatieMiddleton · 31/05/2012 13:40

You throw them away! I am shocked at the waste!

Yes, you are very stingy. And mean

more · 31/05/2012 13:47

not stingy at all, as long as they get a piece of cake on the way out.

CelticRepublican · 31/05/2012 13:52

YANBU. I hate party bags, they are so wasteful! Won't be giving them out at DS's parties.

wimblehorse · 31/05/2012 13:53

YANBU
I didn't do party bags at ds's (3) party last weekend.
Had paid for entertainment and catering for 6 friends and 10 parents, everyone had cake. I could not be arsed with either buying or filling party bags, imo had spent enough time and money on the party with no need for a bunch of tat.
Piece of cake wrapped up in a napkin and that was their lot.
I didn't apologise for the lack of bags either.
Gawd am I going to have to start doing it next year when ds is at school and his friends expect it?

sadsac · 31/05/2012 13:58

I've trained mine to not expect them. Some party's have them, others don't.

Largely because I was horrified to see dc asking for them after parties or in one case a boy or around 5 went and got one out of a box in the kitchen for himself. His mum had arrived to collect him and the host was busy.

We don't throw them in the bin - my dd quite likes routing through and seeing what's there. Piece of cake and a balloon will keep her happy.

MerylStrop · 31/05/2012 14:00

DD (5) adores party bags and would definitely want them at her own party.

DS (7) is over them. At his last party we just had a dish of treat-sized chocolate bars and kids helped themselves at the end. All happy with that.

As a parent, I wouldn't be bothered

Cake in a napkin and (maybe) a balloon. Just like the 70s. Nowt wrong with that.

DeWe · 31/05/2012 14:32

I buy a set of cheap (like those fairy ones-you could get them for £1 from the book people) books and put them in. I hope you wouldn't just throw that away.

We always had party bags when we were little, although the contents were usually what we'd won in the games plus a balloon and some bubbles.

I'd think it was entirely possible that children would remember, and possibly remark to your child afterwards.

exexe · 31/05/2012 14:48

I went to a birthday party around Easter and instead of a party bag, the kids were given am Easter egg. Most of the kids were so disappointed and asked where the party bags were. And these are nice kids not spoiled or rude. I just think they expect it.

Just go to a Pound shop and get a bit of tat and a lolly. They'll be over the moon.

COCKadoodledooo · 31/05/2012 15:16

We did a pinata for ds1's party, so they got all the sweets they could stuff in their pockets, and a bit of cake to take home. Mind, I have 2 children, the eldest of whom is 8, and I've only ever done one kids party, so could be seen as pretty high up the stingy stakes!

jubilucket · 31/05/2012 15:23

Agree, the going home bag is a handy signal that it's all over now.

We did the bulb in a pot thing for ddtwins, it went down very well indeed with the mothers. This was a group of tweenage girls though.

Lollipop, balloon and a piece of cake will do.

LeoniPoni · 31/05/2012 16:25

I am so shocked! My DS isn't 2 yet so haven't been to many parties but when I was a kid (I'm 26 now) I wouldn't have noticed a lack of party bags and if I'd ASKED for one my mum would have told me off for being cheeky.

I'm sure I'm in for a whole world of embarrassment as DS grows up, if he ever demands a party bag, I will definitely be unimpressed.

Surely it is up to each person throwing the party how they'll use their budget and children should just be told that some parties have party bags, some have cupcakes, some have a pinata. They don't all have to be the same.

Although like the idea of it being a way to get rid off send home the guests!

mumnotmachine · 31/05/2012 16:40

Sadly prty bags are the norm, and it always seems like a competition to see who can put the most in.
Happily my party bag days are over, but I solved the expense problem by buying "Lucky Bags" from the Pound Shop, they contain an array of sweets and tat, and the kids loved them
You can buy different ones to suit boys or girls, and if theres any left over its a bonus "traet" for your own kids weeks later- when you find them in a cupboard!

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 31/05/2012 16:42

YABVU. Stop being so tight, they don't have to be expensive.children love party bags, even if they do get forgotten quite quickly. I bet they would be remembered for a lot longer if they didn't exist.

babybythesea · 31/05/2012 16:53

I'm another one who buys books in bulk from The Book People (or the children's version, Red House) and then splits the pack. Each child gets a piece of cake, a couple of sweets and a book. Job done.

Cherriesarelovely · 31/05/2012 16:54

I've always done party bags at my DDs party because my DP loves filling them and DD enjoys them but i certainly wouldn't think someone was "tight" for not doing so. I think the idea that other children and parents would remark or moan if there were no party bags is utterly depressing if it is true. Kids do say things like that, on occasion I know, but we shouldn't be agreeing with them! My dd went through a phase of hardly ever being invited to a party so frankly when she did she was very grateful to have an invite regardless of what she "got" at the end!

Original poster

noobydoo · 31/05/2012 18:01

It is the plastic tat that gets me. Our house is full of it already and I hate it.

I am a nutritionist by trade so no way are they having sweets and cake for lunch - it will be nice sandwiches all round.

Although now I have been given an idea by this thread. What I might do is actually just do fruit for dessert and then make chocolate kris pies or fruit pieces. Keep the ideas rolling - I might actually get somewhere.

OP posts:

Virgil · 31/05/2012 18:08

Another book people book and a piece of cake here. One pound a head, job done and it's hopefully something they will keep and that won't go straight into the bin. My DSs love the plastic tat but novelty is worn off and it is forgotten after half an hour

Virgil · 31/05/2012 18:10

Caterpillar kebabs. Thread eight grapes into a wooden skewer and add eyes and a smiley mouth onto the last one with icing. Amazingly these were actually eaten over cake by many of the children at our last party.

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