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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

for worrying I have offended this mother...

5 replies

noobydoo · 31/05/2012 11:38

More a what would you do

DS1 has just started pre-school nursery. He has made his first little friend (as in he chose him not me). Anyway, he was meant to be having a play-date today but his mother cancelled because her daughter was sick this morning. DH thought he had a great idea that I could offer to pick DS and his little friend up and they could come back here (we live 5 mins from the nursery) and then she could come and pick her DS up when she is ready (I thought this might be a nice gesture).

Problem is that when I called mother I think she got the wrong end of the stick and that I was asking if we could still have the playdate as before. She started saying she that she would need to get a carseat for my DS. I explained what I meant again - but now I am worried I have put her off and she thinks that I am being really pushy.

The only reason why I offered is because in the past I know I have let good friends go because I have failed to make an effort with them in a meaningful way. Now I feel I am being too pushy. I need mums net to tell me whether this was too much!

OP posts:
more · 31/05/2012 13:10

the only thing different I would have done would have been to offer to drop him off at her house after playdate myself, not ask her to collect him from your house. If her daughter is sick she might not even be taking her son to nursery because she wants to keep daughter inside.

redskyatnight · 31/05/2012 13:13

Unlikely you have offended. I would guess that you took her by surprise and you started going through all the practicalities in her head and got herself confused. Leave it for now and suggest in a day or so that you could have her DS round.

BoysBoysBoysAndMe · 31/05/2012 13:34

I would have thought she of cancelling the play date in case your child got sick? Like at school when they aren't allowed in for 48 hours after being sick?

I wouldn't worry about it.

Maybe next time you speak just be casual and say something along the lines if- your ds was very excited at the thought if playing with friend ds, hope you didn't think I was being pushy, just wanted them to have a fun day.

And just bear in mind for future reference.

noobydoo · 31/05/2012 17:54

Thank you for listening to my neuroses. I spoke to her soon after and she was so sweet.

I think I find nursery more exhausting than DS I think. I really struggle to make good friends of people - I am finding it a learning experience myself. Even when I do make good friends I find myself worrying that they will end up disliking me. I feel like I need coaching sometimes.

OP posts:
more · 31/05/2012 19:17

uhh I would love that. Having a small earpiece with somebody telling me what to say at all times. That would solve so much anxiety on my part Grin

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