to ask you all what the hell I'm going to do?

[cherrypez]

I don't post very often, but I really need some practical advice. After 7 years together my partner has just left me. Apparently he isn't in love with me anymore, hasn't felt it for a few months. I strongly suspect there is someone else but he denies it. I don't want him back, really I don't, as I know if one person says I don't love you anymore it's over.
But here is the thing I need advice with...we have 2 boys together and I hve four kids from my previous marriage. I work full time, a stressful professional job, where I cannot afford to fall apart (although have this week!) and my kids are sad and shocked at all this. How do I hold it all together as well as cope with being totally devastated. I still love him so much and just want advice on how the hell you get over a broken heart?

Sorry, I have no advice but hugs

I'd ask mumsnet to move this to relationships where you will get lots of good advice.

BIG for you. Heartbreak is just the worst.

You brush yourself down and thank your lucky stars that you are free of such a selfish git, who would walk away from his children rather than discuss things like an adult and try relate and such like.

((cherry))

Again not really any useful advice, just wanted you to know that someone else out there is feeling for you and sorry to hear what you are going through. How much annual leave to you have, could you take a week's annual/ compassionate leave to get your head round things a bit and be with your children? I hope some of the six are old enough to be a help with looking after the younger ones. Also I hope that your partner is spending time with the children explaining that he still loves them and it's not their fault, kind of stuff. sure you need something stronger, but have this,

You take it one day at a time (or even an hour at a time). You answer the children's questions as honestly as possible.

The only healer for a broken heart really is time, I'm afraid. Sending hugs and stay strong.

I am so sorry for you. Crikey though you sound very together and sensible about it. I am sure you are being a tower of strength to your kids.

I don't have any practical advice as my way of dealing with such things is to completely deny knowledge, carry on regardless with a smile like Judith Chalmers plastered on my face, and then 6 months later crack up a bit. So don't do that. try not to be a superhero - it is OK for you to appear upset in front of your kids. Have you anyone in RL who can give you a shoulder to cry on?

One thing - it will get better. In a few months time you will feel a lot, lot more positive about things.

You keep busy, invite friends over for wine, get into a good book, flirt with people when you're up to it- just pass the time without dwelling on it as far as you can.

On practicalities - Can you get some emergency leave, and also throw some money at the problem if necessary? All the mundane stuff like cleaning and laundry, can you pay to get rid of that for a few weeks breathing space? What about childcare? Are you high and dry there? Probably worth investigating a nanny and/or housekeeper if there's six of them (what ages?)

Thankyou for kind replies, I am ok for childcare but motgage is in my name only as all equity is mine, so not sure I can afford cleaner on one wage. He has a low paid job so I won't be getting much financial help. Kids are 17 down to 3 so the older ones help out...they have been amazing I'm vey lucky to have them. This is a real shit time to do this tbh I have major things coming up at work and with the summer coming I now face taking six kids abroad alone! But I will be ok with that its just the sadness I want to shake off.

Bastard. Make sure he pays you for the up keep of his children.

Hugs to you.

You'll get through this with help from good friends & excellent There really is no-one better to guide you through a rough time than a bloody good mate or two.

Sending hugs & telling you time really is the only healer.