AIBU to go upstairs for a good old cry?

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My house is a shit tip.
My flatmate hasn't cleaned in about 3 months and I am sick of always doing it so I'm on strike. She still isn't cleaning.
I am in pain.
My flatmate's boyfriend is here and we are currently watching the crappest movie ever.
I am tired because I was woken up at 6.30am because I was woken by a phone call for my flatmate (not that early but I was tired already from waking in pain).
My day at work was rubbish.
I over ate and feel sick.
My painkillers are making me tired and grumpy.

WIBU to go upstairs and just cry?

grrrr.

FWIW I really like my flatmate but she is a little lazy and we are very different. I know all these things in my day are minor but I feel tearful and grumpy!

They're not minor. Living with someone with totally different standards of cleanliness is miserable. Do you rent? If so I'd tell her the managing agent came round when she was out and read the riot act about the state of the place, then make a rota of basic tasks - hoovering, washing up, bins out, clean bathroom.

You poor thing. :( Could you try mentioning your flatmate's lazy ways to her boyfriend in the hope that he'll say something to her? If her man brings it to her attention it might embarrass her into cleaning up.

No one really likes to do this but in some cases it is necessary, I rreally think you need to have a heart on sleeve chat with your flatmate and tell her how you feel.

She needs to know that you are in pain and take medication for it and that the tasks need to be divided up. Then you need to write a rota of who is doing what. It is unfortunatley the only way.

great ideas but sadly she knows the landlord doesn't care about the place either (he is a horrible man and doesn't care about his dozens of properties). Her boyfriend doesn't care either and they just generally laugh about the piles of stuff lying around. She even jokes and says she goes around to his because it's cleaner. I am moving out in a few months...thank goodness.

I've already talked to her saffyhairyarse but even when I ask her to do specific tasks it might take her a few days to do it and by then the rest of the house is back to messy and everything needs done again.

YANBU, sometimes a good cry actually makes you feel better.

Have a hug

She's not much of a friend then.

Thanks everyone. She is a really good friend but she just doesn't care about keeping things tidy. It means nothing to her.

Here are some ideas for a snotty note to remind her of her responsibilities kidding, if you left one of these you'd probably be ex friends, but they are quite funny and may raise a smile.

Sorry you're feeling rotten, it's awkward living with someone who has different standards or priorities regarding housework. Either you need to learn to live with it or you need to have a frank discussion about what you expect from living together.

Thanks CraicDealer. That website did make me smile!

Aw Alpha, what a shitty place to be in. No YANBU, go let it out hun if you need to. But remember you are getting away from it soon.
Personally I would do minimal cleaning that benefited her from now until you leave, only what needed to be done for hygiene reasons.
A good friend wouldn't leave it all for you to do, especially if she knows your unwell.
I hope this few months pass quickly for you xx

Thanks dondon33. xx

PMSL at the fat person/thin person escalator sign.

OP- people can be good friends and still be a PITA to live with. I lived with a particular friend for a year and it nearly broke me. Examples

• would only let us use the wm at night as was cheaper, but wm had no timer so I had to get up at midnight to switch it on. This also used to really piss off the (very fit) guy downstairs, so ruined any chance I had of marrying him

• rejected the concept of light/dark washes and would sneak her darks in with my lights, so I had a lot of pale blue clothes and no white vest tops

• refused to turn off the keypad tones on her phone and used to text constantly so I spent most nights feeling like I had tinatus.

it goes on. She is really nice though and when I dont live with her, I love her to bits

With her friend she has eaten my icecream. How ruddy dare she! I came home thinking oooo I can have my icecream - no chance.

This is war! Ok maybe not but she better buy me some bloody good icecream to make it up to me!

:( Alpha. Flat sharing is rotten sometimes.

All my flatmates have gone to a ball tonight. They didn't tell me they were getting tickets til after they'd sold out so I'm sitting in alone.
I'm trying not to let it bother me but it does sting a little!

And the kitchens a shit tip, but it's not my mess so I'm not cleaning it.

I'd draw the line at them stealing my ice cream though - that really would be war here!
Has she even mentioned it to you?

I told them to help themselves to the icecream but they've eaten all of the Pachelbel. Grrr.

Sorry you didn't get to go to the ball. I hope you are laying on the sofa with a snuggly duvet eating chocolate and leaving sweet wrappers all over the floor for your flatmates to clean up!

Did they apologise for not getting you a ticket?

The cheek of them!
I hope they buy you two boxes of even posher icecreams to make up for the fact they've quite clearly taken the pee!

Nope, they 'invited' me to the kitchen to have drinks with them before they left, but I felt like a right lemon in my trackie bottoms and cosy hoody when they're all in their ball gowns so I made my excuses!

Now, where's my fairy godmother

when they are hung over in the morning make sure you make lots of noise!