to ask my neighbours children to play more quietly...

[Sastra]

I'm genuinely torn on this issue, so I thought I'd throw it open to lovely MNrs for advice.

We live in a flat on the first floor. The entrance to the flats on our row is along an outside corridor (i.e., stairs on the outside, walk along to front doors, rather than corridor being internal, if that makes sense), meaning that walking along the corridor you'll walk past the windows to our front bedroom and kitchen.

Our neighbours but one have two children, age about 11 and 8. They run up and down this outside corridor and the rest of the grounds screaming, shouting, etc. quite a lot of the time. This is where I'm torn, I think children should be allowed to play and its difficult when you don't have a garden of your own, but I really struggle to be patient when they're standing playing outside my front window. Unfortunately evenings and weekends I'm studying, so the noise is pretty distracting. I've thought to myself that if this were adults etc making that level of noise, I would ask them to be a bit quieter, on the one hand I feel that its not right that because this family have children they should have the run of the place (toys and bits of things they've built litter the grassed areas for example), but then I do feel that children need to play.

Help! We are moving soon so the issue will resolve itself, but then I am genuinely interested to know if I'm being unreasonable (in which case I can try and sort myself out!).

Thanks guys :-)

If you're moving soon I wouldn't say anything if its not massively early or late in the day.

I think it would be unreasonable to ask them to play quietly in a public area during the day.

Yes YABU They are children, let them be they are not children for long.

They are outside laying on a warm sunny day, of which we don't get many.

Tolerant much ?

Yanbu. It would drive me insane.

Oh, and just to clarify, I only want them not to shout/ stand and play DIRECTLY outside my windows. I don't mean don't play at all. Its not just because its sunny, its all the time.

But I'm also wary of being that miserable, crabby neighbour that everyone hated when they were a kid despite the fact that I am 18 weeks pregnant and still vomming, so I AM that miserable, crabby neighbour

Sorry sweetie but I think the answer is to move yourself rather than ask the kids to move. It's not ideal but that's what kids do and to try and quieten them would probably last about...oh ten seconds.

They will be at school most of the day so we're talking about the weekend and from about 4pm to 8-9pm at most on school days. Yes it would be irritating but if you are moving I would try to ignore it. If you can't, could you have a word with the parents - telling them you are studying and get them to agree a compromise?

queenofthepirates - that's so true . If only I HAD somewhere else to go...

Thanks guys. Yeah, my plan is just to ignore it as like I say, we will be moving. I guess its one of those issues where I really don't know if I am being unreasonable or not, genuinely wanted to hear others' views.

How often are you in the front bedroom during the day? And do you study in the kitchen? Those landings are communal areas and the kids have as much right to be there as anyone else. If you move them along they'll just go stand outside someone else's flat, probably someone who isn't moving soon.

I feel your pain. I live in a detatched house and next doors kids play right outside my house, rather than in front of their own. And they stand and stare into my living room window looking totally glaikit(*). Drives me nuts. But I've never come up with a way of mentioning this to their parents that doesn't end with me sounding like a loon. So I just sit and fume.

(*) scottish for vacant/gormless

What would be so wrong, when they are shouting/playing DIRECTLY outside OPs windows, with opening the door and saying ", , you're a bit loud, go and play outside your own house for a bit, I'm trying to study here." ?

Seriously, this was the norm when I was that age [old gimmer emoticon].

WhereYouLeftIt...I guess its because I'm worried I'm being unreasonable!!

I think I've hit on a mini-solution! I've just popped my wet washing out on the rack and put it in front of the window. Its not a bit corridor so they'll have to go either side of the window

I know exactly where the OP is coming from. There is playing, and then there is screaming and screeching, the two are not the same. You don't mind hearing and seeing children playing nearby, but there is a massive difference when that turns into screams right outside your own windows. That shouldn't be acceptable just because it's children making the noise.

If you have to say something (and you would be absolutely reasonable to do so), I would word it that you love hearing them play, but when they are very loud near to your house, you find it quite distracting. Don't be confrontational, there is a way to get your point across in a friendly manner.

Thanks Tidy, that's exactly the point I'm making! If I was staying I think eventually I would say something, but I completely agree there are nice ways of doing things and unhelpful ways of doing things.

It sounds annoying, but having been on the receiving end of complaints from my downstairs neighbours about noise from my children, I would say don't complain. It is easy to forget that children need some boisterous play. The educationalist Froebel said that play was a child's work. I was mortified to have someone knocking on my door regularly telling me my 1 year old and 3 year old children were playing too noisily (inside my flat) and ended up getting cross with the children when they had done nothing wrong. We had a year of not feeling relaxed in our own home (he worked from home and only went on holiday for 2 nights in a whole year) and now he has gone we love our home again and don't feel pressured into putting the television on in order to keep 2 preschoolers from moving around or thinking of ways to spend as much time as possible out of the flat. I get irritated by neighbours from time to time, but have decided its best to live and let live.

I would say:

• Playing on the grass area, fine
• Running along the corridor on their way in/out and being a bit noisy while doing it - fine
• Playing in the corridor for long periods of time - not fine and bloody infuriating.

shrug