not to want to massage other people in my yoga class

[drxerox]

I've recently started a weekly yoga class. The other students are younger than me, and include a man. Today the instructor told us to pair up and massage each other. I was next to the young man and felt v. reluctant to massage him (and I'm sure he was equally reluctant to massage a portly 54 year old woman). The 1st time round I said 'sorry, I don't feel comfortable with this'. Luckily there was an odd number in the class so he wasn't left out. But someone had to leave early, and the instructor gave us a talk on how important touch was and how little we do it here and how we should love our bodies etc etc and when mutual massaging came up again I did do it, but feel uncomfortable about going to the class in case we have to do it again. (We might not as we didn't do it in the 1st class). Am I being unreasonable? It's not just about massaging a man, I wouldn't really want to do it with a woman, especially one I don't know.

YANBU - how odd, we dont do this in my yoga class.

A couple of years ago I went away to the Caribbean - I started doing the water aerobic class there in the mornings and at the end of it we all had to stand in a line and massage the persons head and hair in front of us....I hated it. I didnt like massaging Pete from Wisconsin and I certainly didnt like havng my head done......I started leaving rather swiftly after that first time!

Gross!

YANBU. Ewwwwwwww!

YANBU. I would have left.

YANBU. That would be way out of my comfort zone. I'd find a different yoga class.

YANBU and good for you for saying you didn't feel comfortable, I bet there were others who felt the same but went along with it to save being embarrassed.

Life's too short to do stuff you don't like...could you find another class?

Touching a sweaty stranger?? I think not! I hate being massaged.

I misread the title as 'massacre' others in the yoga class! YogaRage!

I love a massage and wouldn't mind getting a massage in my yoga class but have to say I've never been to a class where we did any massaging, it sounds slightly odd.

I get where you're coming from though, as I'm not keen on partner work in yoga classes but as it's normal for some classes I just suck it up. I don't think massage is 'normal' and I don't think you should feel bad about not doing it.

Could you speak to the teacher prior to the class to tell her you'll be sitting out the massage session? it doesn't matter if that makes an odd number of students - the teacher can take your place if the numbers aren't right.

I had to massage a lady's bottom in my rather hippyish ante-natal class, and then she had to massage mine. Clothed, I might add. I was hideously embarassed. YANBU.

Jeez Psammead arse massage is taking things just a bit too far! Hope OP's yoga teacher doesn't start with that next time :o

Yes, it was not exactly the relaxing moment that the teacher had envisioned, I think. Lots of fixed horrified grins and no eye-contact after that particular class.

YANBU, I had a similar experience. I said it wasn't for me and the flower child instructor was about to choke me with her organically sourced cotton scarf. Telling me I was far too inhibited and such.
If you dont want to do it, don't.

YANBU. I've only ever been to one (non ante-natal) yoga class that included massage, and I've been doing yoga for years. Find another class - they're not all like this. Yoga should help you relax and worrying about having to massage someone doesn't sound relaxing!

We had to massage each other in antenatal yoga. Felt a bit weird doing it but I just went along with it as I'm generally desperate not to look socially awkward in any given situation . Could you have a word with the instructor and tell him/her this particular part of the class is stressing you out?

YANBU - I would hate it. I don't even like having my head massage whilst I have my hair washed at the hairdressers - what is that all about?

Could you perhaps say that you find it physically uncomfortable and you don't want to be massaged by somebody who is untrained and who stands more chance of hurting you?

Or just find another class if needs be.

Psammead are you in Hove? We had to do that too - with our feet!

Oh, and it was ok, but probably only because we were all pregnant...don't know why that made it more acceptable but I definitely wouldn't want to massage a stranger in normal yoga.

YANBU - I would hate that.

I stopped going to a class that I loved, it was half weight training and half cardio, because the instructor started to pair us up at the end to hold each other's feet for ab work. I felt so uncomfortable!

Not in Hove! In Germany.

thanks for the supportive responses everybody. I was worried about putting this on AIBU, but couldn't think of anywhere else, but I'm grateful for everybody's response

I do yoga and wouldn't like that at all. In fact, I would leave if the instructor suggested massaging my partner.

YABU at all.

YANBU i would hate that. I dont mind getting massaged but i wouldnt like to massage someone i barely knew. I dont like the thought of touching people much at all

Ohmygod!!!

Recently I started a thread because I was uncomfortable with my pilates instructor touching me without warning (ticklish and makes me jump) but this is a whole new level of uncomfortableness. YANBU.

Dinah - I'm the opposite - would be pretty cool with doing someone else but I would feel so icky if someone else was doing me!