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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think that this boy should be included in the football team?

10 replies

MotherHubbardsBigBottom · 30/05/2012 11:00

I'm involved in helping out with a local junior football team. Not in a coaching or organisational capacity, I'm just an occasional extra body to tidy up after tournaments and sometimes sell the coffee to parents! The junior teams train once in the week and they have matches most weekends.

One little lad who goes, (I know his aunt) for whatever reason is not in the "squad" for his age group next season. But this chap turns up for training every week, takes part and puts in effort and really enjoys himself too. I feel bad on his behalf that they haven't included him in the actual team so he will get to train every week but not play in the matches- but is this just how it goes with kids level sport?

I wasn't very good at any sports at school, despite actually enjoying some of it, and this may be just my experiences making me feel for him (in P.E, all rosy faced and hopeful but then never picked). Not saying by the way that this boy isn't good at sport, have no idea at all on that, just that I know how it feels to not make the team.

The reason I am throwing myself to the mercy of the Mumsnet jury is that I've not had to deal with childrens teams before- my own children are older and never expressed an interest in taking part, but I'm involved because my husband helps run the adult side and when the younger teams need bodies to help, and they put out an "all hands on deck" request for assistance my husband will occasionally volunteer me bless him I don't mind giving them a hand.

This AIBU is a genuine one in that I honestly don't know whether this is just how childrens football works. It's not an indignant AIBU where I have a very firm opinion already!

So AIBU to think that teams should reward children for their support of the club (good training attendance, effor etc) by including them on the team?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 30/05/2012 11:06

Errm...you can only have 11 players on the pitch at the same time though

They can't include everyone no matter how hard they train I'm afraid

And as you said yourself, "Not saying by the way that this boy isn't good at sport, have no idea at all on that

So really it's down to those who do have an idea on that.

Disappointing for him of course, but what can you do?

ajandjjmum · 30/05/2012 11:07

Is he the only one who comes to training every week, who is not in the squad?

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 30/05/2012 11:09

In my experience, ther is a lot of this with children's football and it's horrible. If the club is big enough they should rotate players so they all get a turn in competitive matches, or they should create a B team, even if it's only 5 a side.

YANBU at all.

crazygracieuk · 30/05/2012 11:12

I know from talking to others that for most teams junior school means only the best are picked. If it's infants then everyone gets a go.

If he's not good enough to make the squad then the parents should find a lower ranked side where he might be good enough to make a team or start a sport that's less competitive/popular so he gets to play as normal.

I'm not saying it's right but this is apparently how it works. Poor boy :(

stoatie · 30/05/2012 11:12

My son has played Junior football since he was @8 - he is 16 now. Each team has a squad (maybe 16 players) and you have to be signed up for the squad in order to play - however as Worra says - only 11 players can play at any one time. My son often spends some time on subs bench - it is the way of the world. Also, every year the team has trials for the next season - each squad member has to attend trials and may or may not get picked for the next season's squad.

Just because you turn up every week does not mean you will make the squad - harsh but reality

cantspel · 30/05/2012 11:13

But you dont know why they haven't included him.

It could be that he is no good, or he could be badly behaved, or his parents might not be willing to pay the subs or he might not want to play the games and just want to train.

MotherHubbardsBigBottom · 30/05/2012 11:13

Worra- yes you're right of course.

ajandjj- I don't know whether there are others in the same position, the training is very popular though so I would think so.

OP posts:
ajandjjmum · 30/05/2012 11:18

So long as he's not the only one left out, I think it's fair enough.

I listened to a really good section on Five Live (yesterday?) about the re-vamping of junior football. How it should continue to be enjoyable for the kids, and one of the main problems is the competitiveness of the parents. Obviously something the FA are going to try and improve - smaller pitches and smaller goals for the younger kids, and teams of 9 as a midway step between 7-a-side and a normal team.

But the emphasis should be on fun, and learning in an exciting way with good coaching staff.

MotherHubbardsBigBottom · 30/05/2012 11:21

Having asked dh (who is in the know about the league arrangements) only 14 children can be registered for each team. As a guestimate (from what I can see serving coffee) I think there are probably 25 or so that come to training regularly plus some others that dip in and out. So I guess not enough for another team in that age group.

It does seem a shame about him (and maybe a few others?) not getting to play more but as a number of you have pointed out, that's just how life goes I suppose. Am still sad for the litte feller though!

OP posts:
ajandjjmum · 30/05/2012 13:10

Seems a shame they can't have a couple of squads, with 12/13 players in each.

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