To think no part of this conversation was racist?

[DontWannaBeAMug]

Yesterday the temperature was getting on for 25 degrees. Me and two friends are sat outside drinking coffee. I'm white, one friend is also white and the other is Bangladeshi (but born and raised in England).

So we're sitting there, baking in the sun and my Bangladeshi friend looks at me and says "I don't mean this to sound racist, but white people look gorgeous when they tan. You look so healthy and glowing right now!". My head swelled a little and I thanked her and said "I've always wondered, can you get sunburn?" (might sound like a daft question but I genuinely didn't know). She said she never has burnt and neither have her children - therefore she doesn't believe she can burn. She added that white people must burn so much easier than darker skinned people and it is probably down to something in the skin types. I agreed. She went to grab another drink and my other friend said "wow, that was awkward!" I said "what was??" and she said "all the talk about white people and sunburn and everything! it all sounded a bit racist!"

How? neither me nor my friend were offended so how was it racist? is it any different from saying blonde people probably burn quicker than dark haired people??

Why did your Bangladeshi friend start the conversation with "I don't mean this to sound racist...?

The Bangladeshi friend obviously thought that that her comment could be taken the wrong way. The fact that the other friend thought that it was racist kind of validates the Bangladeshi friend's fear

Melanin, Fio, I think...

Carotene is the pigment which makes carots orange.

Blimey!! In the office I worked last year we had conversations like this all the time!

The ration was 50% white and 50% muslim and there was always banter on BOTH sides and people taking the mickey out of themselves and everyone was free to talk openly.

That said we all have known each other for 10 years plus and socilalised outside work so there was none of the 'OMG, You can't say THAT!' malarky.

Gong back to your post No, nothing racist there.

Not at all racist.

It's a pity she felt she had to preface her remark with that disclaimer "I don't want to sound racist but ..."

Some people think that one shouldn't refer directly to someone else's ethnic type or skin colour because in a sense you're defining them by their race. I tend to think the opposite. If we can speak freely in this way I think it shows we don't regard it as any big deal.

Of course where the boundary lies between insult and reasonable banter varies so much between individual situtations that you can't really lay down rules on a society-wide or organisation-wide basis, though that doesn't stop people trying.

Not remotely racist. It is good that you feel sufficiently comfortable with each other that you can talk about these things which, after all, are simply factual things about skin types. Agree that your it is a pity that your friend felt she had to preface her remark.

That wasn't racist at all.. your friends needs to relax a little. She is making things awkward.

Not at all racist. I used to share an office with two other white women and a black man; he went on holiday and came back noticeably darker. We were all chatting about his holiday and what a fab time he'd had, and I said something like "it must have been hot, you've got a tan". He agreed, and five minutes later when he'd gone off to get coffee the other two women rounded on me saying I shouldn't have said it! It was a normal conversation and he took the comment exactly as I'd meant it.

They were fully paid-up members of the PC brigade, though. They were horrified when I was chatting with another (black) co-worker and we were talking about hairstyles; she used a coconut-based oil on her lovely long afro hair and I asked if there was anything non-oil-based that she could recommend for my own naturally curly and slightly frizzy (but not afro!) hair. I had to (gently) point out to them that the word afro isn't actually racist...

your friend seems a little uber worried that offence might be caused that she panicked. Does she mix with different people much?