AIBU to want this to stop

[dawnpreview]

One of my twins (4) has alot of tantrums when he can't get his own way. When he does, DH starts calling him a baby in a really nasty sarcastic way.
DT obviously hates this and ends up screaming back at him saying 'I am not a baby'. I pulled DH on it tonight, and told him not to keep calling him names. The answer was 'well if he is being a baby I will tell him'.
I am trying so hard to stop my boys calling each other names, and it doesn't help if they see their dad doing it to them. To me it seems like bullying, and I feel really sorry for my son when his dad is like this. Am I being overly sensitive, or unreasonable to want this behaviour to stop?

YANBU. I would have a gentle word.

Mmmm, my gentle word ended in yet another row and us going to bed not speaking again :(

YANBU, your dh will just be adding fuel to the fire that is the tantrum. If be doesn't listen to you, then maybe get the kids to explain how it makes them feel when he does this?

Not being unreasonable at all. I don't think name-calling is particularly mature behaviour to be modelling in itself!

He sounds very immature to be honest, your husband, not your child. He's not being a respectful parent towards your child if he's purposely annoying him. It's not the words, it's the intent behind them. I think your DH needs to attend parenting classes to be honest. If you can't speak to him without him sulking then it makes me question who the child is.

I did tell him he was being just as much of a baby as dt, and guess what, he didn't like that.
IvanaNap- yes, tip of the iceberg. He doesn't seem to respect me for being a SAHM, and seems to believe no one in the world works as hard as he does. He never seems to want to spend time with the dcs, and gets in a strop very easily when things are not going his way. I dread him coming home from work, as I then have not only the dcs to deal with, but also him shouting at them. It is very draining :(

Oh, and there is no way on earth he would go to a parenting class.

Is he controlling in other ways?

Is he controlling in other ways?

I suppose he can be. If things are not going his way, he does get in a strop. He can be very critical of the way I do things, or the fact that i haven't done something. If I get stressed/upset/have a bad day, I can't really talk to him as it would just get turned around to how hard he works. Today's row was partly because 'he had been up since 4.30am and deserved to have his tea in peace without ds screaming'. Never mind what my day has been like stuck at home with 2 fed up children with chickenpox. As long as he gets to relax then all is well.
Going to sleep now, but thank you all for your replies.

He's coming across as being very self centered. I think that you need to decide where you want to go from here.